MSE Parents Club Part 15

SusanC_2

Evansangel wrote: »

I washed our bin today, its in the bath drying at the moment

Presumably you aren't talking about your wheelie bin?

Evansangel

SusanC wrote: »

Presumably you aren't talking about your wheelie bin?

Well its meant to be an outside bin but we use it in the kitchen.

redmel1621

SS - Not sure how docs n that work over there but can you get her seen somewhere??

Apart from that, just a wash and gentle dry and some metanium...t'is good stuff (if you can get it there??)

Have some ((hugs)) for you both too

redmel1621

I need some advice on a couple of things, will be back after sorting the older two to bed!!

SugarSpun

Thanks all - she's slathered in antiseptic butt cream and on her way to bed and we'll look at it tomorrow and take her down to the doctor, then if he says we should stop being overprotective and silly we'll give her loads of nudey time and metanium (I stockpile it ).

I was planning an early night Mel so if I'm not here when you get back I hope I can be of some help in the morning xxx

aless02

Ask away, Mel, though with 4 kids to my 1, I'm not sure if I can be helpful!

They're testing hi-tech toys on Phil & Kirstie right now.

redmel1621

Right, so i have two dilemmas!

1. My little sister is getting married next August in Gretna Green, she asked me to be a bridesmaid when she first told me about it and I readily agreed. The thing is, I am not really sure if I want to do it now. I would rather spend the day with my family and just go and 'watch' the wedding. We are not very close tbh and although this could bring us closer (which I would love) I find the rest of my family exclude me from a lot of things, the rest of my family meaning, my mum, sister, younger brother and when he visists older brother...i always have to ask what they are up to on special occasions (like xmas, new year) only to find out that they have already made big plans...none of which have been relayed to me. It shouldn't bother me and I have my own family (husband and kids) to keep me busy and to spend time with, BUT for some reason it does get under my skin......One other reason is that it is stressing me out as I am feeling pressured to lose weight, and the stress is having the opposite effect, as you know I am not doing to well with stressful things atm...
Soooo anyway, Do you think I should tell her I don't want to be her bridesmaid? I really don't want to upset her, or ruin her big day for her, if she actually does really want me to. I also don't know how to tell her in a gentle, kind way...if I do actually tell her. Or should I just keep my mouth shut and do it as I have already agreed???

2. My VBF is getting her dauhter christened in March and broke the news to me that she wanted to ask me to be godmother but can't because I am not christened...now I know they don't check up on it, and my sister was godmother to her best friends little boy, even though she isn't christened and to our two youngest....I know this is possibly a slightly contentious issue for those who are religious themselves, but my best friend isn't particularly and never attends church etc....When she was telling me the news I did mention about my sister, and I also told her that a girl I was chatting to at our naming ceremony preperation visit, told me that none of her godparents were christened but that she just ticked the boxes to say they were...and she was having a full christening!!
I don't morally 'think' I should press the issue with her, but I am really, really upset that I won't get to be godmother to her daughter:( I had slightly hoped that by letting her know it is possible she may have offered to do the same...

Sorry they are so long, but they are both things that have been eating me up inside for a few weeks now

very sad and confused Mel xx

MadDogWoman_2

Hugs Mel.

I'm having a think will get back to you in a minute

got-it-spend-it

CAFCGirl wrote: »

for anyone who needs a hug this cold morning

I loved this picture today, CAFC! Thank you for posting it .

Mel- IMO I think it would be perfectly reasonable to say to your sister that you've been thinking about it and as you will have two children under 3 (and of course the older two) at the wedding then you don't really think you can commit to being a bridesmaid, but will be happy to share the day with her anyway.

The second one is tricky. I guess if your VBF was comfortable with you doing it even thought you're not christened then she probably would have suggested it by now, but I totally understand why it is disappointing to you.

SugarSpun

redmel1621 wrote: »

Right, so i have two dilemmas!

1. My little sister is getting married next August in Gretna Green, she asked me to be a bridesmaid when she first told me about it and I readily agreed. The thing is, I am not really sure if I want to do it now. I would rather spend the day with my family and just go and 'watch' the wedding. We are not very close tbh and although this could bring us closer (which I would love) I find the rest of my family exclude me from a lot of things, the rest of my family meaning, my mum, sister, younger brother and when he visists older brother...i always have to ask what they are up to on special occasions (like xmas, new year) only to find out that they have already made big plans...none of which have been relayed to me. It shouldn't bother me and I have my own family (husband and kids) to keep me busy and to spend time with, BUT for some reason it does get under my skin......One other reason is that it is stressing me out as I am feeling pressured to lose weight, and the stress is having the opposite effect, as you know I am not doing to well with stressful things atm...
Soooo anyway, Do you think I should tell her I don't want to be her bridesmaid? I really don't want to upset her, or ruin her big day for her, if she actually does really want me to. I also don't know how to tell her in a gentle, kind way...if I do actually tell her. Or should I just keep my mouth shut and do it as I have already agreed???

I would probably do it and hope that it builds a bridge between you and your sister. It sounds like a really tough situation with people not telling you their plans etc, and I don't blame you at all for being apprehensive, but I think in your position for the sake of family harmony I would do it. Having said that, I would also have a chat with her to find out exactly what she expects of you and if it seems too much tell her that you love her and you want to be her bridesmaid but you have four children (two of whom will be active toddlers) and only one husband with only two arms so if she prefers to ask someone else who doesn't have the same level of distraction you won't feel offended. If your relationship is strained she could easily take your refusal the wrong way and that will hurt you both, but if you put her in the position of letting herself gracefully off the metaphorical hook that actually you're on and not her, it could be a relief for you both.

redmel1621 wrote: »

2. My VBF is getting her dauhter christened in March and broke the news to me that she wanted to ask me to be godmother but can't because I am not christened...now I know they don't check up on it, and my sister was godmother to her best friends little boy, even though she isn't christened and to our two youngest....I know this is possibly a slightly contentious issue for those who are religious themselves, but my best friend isn't particularly and never attends church etc....When she was telling me the news I did mention about my sister, and I also told her that a girl I was chatting to at our naming ceremony preperation visit, told me that none of her godparents were christened but that she just ticked the boxes to say they were...and she was having a full christening!!
I don't morally 'think' I should press the issue with her, but I am really, really upset that I won't get to be godmother to her daughter:( I had slightly hoped that by letting her know it is possible she may have offered to do the same...

She may already have asked someone else and be about telling you. If she's your VBF I assume you can be open about your feelings with her - just tell her that you would love to be her baby's godparent if it's at all possible, but if it isn't perhaps there's another role you could fulfil?

I don't know if it's helpful as a suggestion, but Miss M has a set of godlessparents because as a pair of cheerful heathens we didn't feel a christening was appropriate - but wanted her to have legal guardians with whom she had a close relationship in case we both died and she was left with my relatives. Could you fulfil a similar loving, nurturing, fun-unrelated-aunt type of role?

Hugs Mel xxx :grouphug: