MSE Parents Club Part 15

ethelsmum

Morning all - no snow here thankfully, don't quite feel ready for snow!
I was going to post last night in reply to Weezl's post but for some reason it touched a nerve and made me quite teary:o.
I quite frequently feel like I'm failing as a parent/generally doing a carp job at it. In reality I think that I have far too high expectations of myself and need to relax a little.

I can't really answer Weezls questions as my 2 big 'ens are at school all day and when they come home don't really want me to play with them as such and the baby is too little. However, I am aware that between 4pm and 7pm (when the kids are home) the majority of time is spent with me cooking tea, tidying up, preparing lunch boxes, making bottles etc etc and not a lot is spent with ds and dd1 .

redstararnie76

Morning everyone, I'm really jealous of those of you with snow!
I'm sorry, I can't remember all that I've read, but Mel, although I'm sorry you've had another bad night, I'm pleased that your OH is appreciating what you are having to cope with.

Weezl, I started trying to respond in the format you've given, but had to give up. The truth is that I often feel like a rubbish mother and I'm not doing half the things that I managed with Amelie - like taking her swimming, meeting up with other mums and it does upset me. Most of the time I feel like I'm just treading water.
I thought the best thing I can do is give you a run down of a typical day at the moment;

Between 7 and 7.30am if the kids let me sleep, get up. Prepare breakfasts and milk. Get Freddie up (Amelie has normally got herself up and put the telly on!). Get Amelie up to the table for breakfast, wake hubby, feed F his milk, then get him in his highchair for weetabix. Hurry A up and send her upstairs to get dressed. Feed F. Set F on the floor with telly and A as company, while I make packed lunch for A and hubby. Get dressed. Do A's hair, get F changed and dressed. Rush out the door to get A to school. Remember I haven't brushed my hair or teeth. Drop A at school, get back for 9.20/9.30am (or if I need to go into town I do it now). Put F down for a nap, catch up with MSE.
10.00/10.15 - Get F up, feed him his milk, play with him (while keeping an eye on laptop). 11.15/11.30 Pop F down on the floor with his toys (sometimes put tv on in the background), attempt to wash up. 11.45/12 - put F down for a nap. Catch up on MSE/Facebook/emails etc. Do some packing or bit of work for freelance project. Make phonecalls for house, chase solicitor etc. Sort washing if I'm feeling productive. S***, it's just gone 2pm. Get F up, feed him his milk, quick play. 2.40pm, leave to pick up Amelie from school. 3pm - at school, catch up with some other mums briefly. 3.45 - get home, get A to get changed, sort lunch box etc. 4pm - F down for a nap. Wash up / do washing etc if not finished from earlier, get nagged at by A for food. Find her fruit and crisps. Attempt to think about food for tonight, and start making it. 4.30 get F up and realise we are out of potatoes/carrots/whatever is needed for dinner, and nip to the shop. 5.15 feed screaming baby. 5.40 give up on trying to keep irritable 5 year old waiting on dinner til Daddy gets home and feed her. 6pm Hubby gets home and eats what's left of dinner. Everyone shouts at everyone else - usual chaos, with us all getting on each other's nerves. Between 6.30 and 7pm F goes to bed. 7pm Amelie sits on me or hubby for a cuddle and watches The Simpsons on channel 4 +1. 7.30pm I read her a story and put her to bed. Then we try and talk, watch tv and go on the computer. Go to bed around 10.30.

This varies slightly to fit in A's ballet class, and at the weekend I take her swimming, and we try to go out, normally on Sundays, for a while, all 4 of us, even if it's just for a walk at the seaside.

I have better days, when I arrange to go into town and meet my mum or a friend for coffee, but by and large this is my life at the moment. F seems to sleep a huge amount, but if I don't put him down, he gets really irritable so I'm going with it for now.

But basically, the reason for this mammoth post is that you do what you can. I believe that whatever we do (and this is a general 'we' by the way), I think most of us will still feel guilty that we didn't do more, or do things differently. The media seems to get a lot of pleasure out of demonising women for either breast feeding, or bottlefeeding, being a stay at home mum or a working mum, and I think it's not surprising that we beat ourselves up so much, when there are no straightforward answers. If you care, then I believe you are probably doing a fantastic job.
Hugs to all who need them.

smartie12

Morning:)

Slightly better this morning... I have my voice back (inbetween coughs and sneezes:rotfl:)

Sounds like you're getting a lot of good input Weezl. Daisy is 11 weeks but I'm already feeling slightly guilty for not "playing" enough even though she doesn't really "play" just yet. I went to a playgroup on Mon because I thought I "had to" but didn't like it. I missed Music Makers on Weds because of being poorly and felt bad.

I feel too much pressure to go to groups etc... but not sure where and who from??

My main guilt though is that I'm doing things "better" with Daisy than I did with my 14 yr old DS:o

We had a tiny bit of the non fluffy type snow a bit early!

delain

Smartie I kind of feel the same guilt, things weren't great when DD1 was a baby and then the twins came along before she was even 2 and we couldn't really go anywhere...

I just put it down to me being more grown up now (ha!) and I don't feel quite so much like there are married women looking down their nose at me everywhere, which was one of the reasons I didn't go to groups then, the baby clinic was awful for it and it put me off going to anything else

Well I'm still sore from falling down the stairs yesterday. I've been moving like an 80 year old!

And I'm really annoyed, DD1 stole £3 from the kitchen this morning, and then denied it. She gave it back in the end but that's so not the point :mad: I've had a word with her and she just smirked at me, so I've asked the school to talk to her :mad: :mad:

Squeak has jabs today so I'm making the most of my happy baby whilst I've got one

Evansangel

What part of 'It comes as a bundle' do people not understand?? :mad:

And calm :rotfl:

I decided not to sell something on eBay because of the hassle and im getting more hassle now!

Becles, im so jealous of your snow!

Mrs_Ihenetu

Hi all,

This is my first post on the parents club so i'm not too sure what to write. I didn't get a chance to read through, instead i thought i'd jump in head first

I'm a 23y/o married mum of 2 and my main hobby is shopping (if that counts):rotfl:

DS is 31 months old, very stubborn and mad about thomas (the train), cbeebies and all modes of transport.

DD is 5 months old, very much a mummies girl, suffers from a condition called Sickle Cell Disease and is generally a very happy and active little girl.

DD has a hospital appointment tomorrow so i'm excited to see what the consltant has to say about her health and development.

pinknico

The things I mainly beat myself up about is the fact I don't drive and so can only get to local groups or coffee mornings, I wish I could drive and take them swimming.
But then as I have three that would be difficult in itself by myself and so I feel guilty for having them so close together and wonder if they have missed out. I usually balance this out with all three play together and love each other(on the whole!) for example if one is at a friend or a party the others are like broken records asking when he/she will be back and moaning about missing them.My second son started lunches at school on Tuesday and so saw his older brother in the playground, they BOTH cried when they had to go back to their classes!

My_Fathers_Daughter

Posting from my phone in a particularly boring meeting...technicalities of street lighting designs anyone?

Benjamin was very excited by the snow on the tv this morning, I can't wait until we get some, I will be taking a day off to play out in it for definite! Must buy a snowsuit asap!

Benjamin is also loving having the moon in the sky in the day 'moo-oo-oon mummy (think Kenneth Williams!)

Incidentally, weezl and Mel and others with littlies and toddlers, have you tried s buggy board? Benjamin uses one with the cm now she has another baby and he LOVES IT!

MFD xx

jillie1974

hi Mrs I
welcome to the thread.

sorry to hear that DD has sickel cell. dont know much if anything about it i' afraid.

x

SusanC_2

pinknico wrote: »

But then as I have three that would be difficult in itself by myself and so I feel guilty for having them so close together and wonder if they have missed out.

I think it's swings and roundabouts really. I might do things with Alice which people with two or three children close together wouldn't be able to do so easily but Alice doesn't have any siblings at home to play with which is something I know she would love.

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Benjamin is also loving having the moon in the sky in the day 'moo-oo-oon mummy (think Kenneth Williams!)

Alice was excited about that too - she was asking me why we had the moon in the daytime.

Mrs_Ihenetu wrote: »

DS is 31 months old, very stubborn and mad about thomas (the train), cbeebies and all modes of transport.

Did you see the grabbit for a die cast Thomas for £1.99 in Poundstretcher/Instore. Alice bought one a month ago but our store still had them in earlier this week.