MSE Parents Club Part 15

RAS

Seriouslty, some of these people need to get real.

Exclusive breast feeding protects your child from stomach bugs, reduces the risk of nappy rash etc, etc.

So please do not give into the bottle brigade.

I see a number of woman breast feed in public by putting a shawl round them and letting littlely tuck in underneath. Very discrete and acceptable in my books.

personally, I do not mind woman who are less discrete, but others may differ.

What is amazing is that you could go to the beach or the pool and let it almost hang out and no-one would bat an eyelid.

Itsgottabedone

Lucky little boy to have this head start in life! Suggest you disregard all the comments and carry on till you decide to stop. In my opinion a 2-month old baby shouldn't be expected to sleep all day or all night. Stick to your guns ... as my GP told me years ago, breastmilk is perfectly forumulated, hygienic, cheap and comes in beautiful containers!

building_with_lego

ClareEmily wrote: »

Ok this is really just a moan....

My baby is now two months old and I am breast feeding on demand, he is growing well and is happy and contented. I also feed very discretely.

I have so far had the following:

Best friend - "He is awake during the day because he is hungry and if I was you I would change to bottles and give him a dummy".

Step Mum - "Give him a bottle at night to make him sleep through".

Several strangers - My goodness you are STILL breast feeding.

Friends send me upstairs to feed as they don't want me to get my "baps" out in front of them. Happy for me to change smelly nappy in front of them though?

Step Dad - Gets all embarrassed when I feed and my mum was a bit weird to begin with to.

Anyone else found this?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
I fed DD for 16 months and Ds for 28months and I was just dying for someone to get a bit uptight about it so I could change their attitudes, had loads of lines ready and everything! Noone said anything *at all* about extended BFing, and actually since DD I've seen lots more friends feed for over a year.

To your best friend and step mum I'd just laugh, hard, then change the subject. To your friends who'd like to send you upstairs I'd just say 'no, thank you, we're comfortable here'. To the several strangers I'd smile sweetly and say 'that would appear to be the case'! (Or 'DUH' depending on their demeanour ) I found the men in my family were a bit uncomfortable at first, but my confidence overruled them; I think a big part of it was that I was now undeniably a grown- up, and they had to see me differently. Look them in the eye and be bold!

Enjoy your time breastfeeding, it'll be over before you know it.
BWL xx

ClareEmily

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I had my first son eleven years ago, and had the same problems, I had really hoped new mothers now would be finding it a bit easier. I remember my MIL and FIL coming to our house to visit the day we got out of hospital, and I was asked to go into my bedroom and feed the baby as FIL wasn't comfortable with it :rotfl: Its not as if it was all on show, and I was a bit mortified to be asked to be honest, but being young, I did as I was asked. If he was still here today and the situation were to arise again, he'd be told where to go :rotfl: My mother was the worst, oh your husband won't be able to bond with the baby if he can't feed it, every time my son caught a sniffle, "That's your breastfeeding for you" can't win with some people, but while women are still finding they have to hide it, it will always be treated by some as if its some ritual performed by space aliens!

Well done for managing this long, and keep going as long as YOU are comfortable doing so!

Thanks for this It's like something that is completely natural no longer fits in modern times.

Teenie_D

ClareEmily wrote: »

Thanks Kellyg ignoring them all, the last straw this week was going over friend's for lunch, baby cried right at wrong time for milk, I was sent upstairs and they accidentally threw my lunch out (like they forgot I was there), I had to feed him 3 times while I was there, so in room listening to them laugh and joke downstairs arghh

Also feel like I have to apologise for feeding him in my own house??

If my friends done this with me I certainly wouldn't be going back to visit!

Breastfeeding in public for some isn't easy, I certainly wasn't comfortable with it for a good couple of months. I used to go upstairs when I was visiting, but not because I was expected to, just because of the way I felt. This soon stopped, and not once did anyone say they seen anything or felt uncomfortable etc.

Good on you for giving your baby the best start in life :T I used to look at my wee one when she was feeding at marvel at the thought that I was providing her with everything she needed. Made me a very proud Mummy.

joeblack066

ClareEmily wrote: »

Ok this is really just a moan....

My baby is now two months old and I am breast feeding on demand, he is growing well and is happy and contented. I also feed very discretely.

I have so far had the following:

Best friend - "He is awake during the day because he is hungry and if I was you I would change to bottles and give him a dummy".

Step Mum - "Give him a bottle at night to make him sleep through".

Several strangers - My goodness you are STILL breast feeding.

Friends send me upstairs to feed as they don't want me to get my "baps" out in front of them. Happy for me to change smelly nappy in front of them though?

Step Dad - Gets all embarrassed when I feed and my mum was a bit weird to begin with to.

I haven't even attempted to feed in public, I honestly cant say if breast feeding women bothered me before I had my son, I really don't think so.

Anyone else found this?

It was like that 24 years ago for me, shame things haven't changed!

got-it-spend-it

First of all, well done ClareEmily. You are doing a great job.

I breastfed my son for a year and have very recently stopped. I can honestly say I never had a negative comment. I had a few people say that he would probably sleep longer if I gave him formula, but I had no intention of doing that to get him to sleep through.

I think it is really, really sad that your friends don't want you to feed in front of them. I never gave mine an option, I just did it. To be honest you can't see anything once they're latched on anyway. Have you tried just politely saying that you'd rather stay where you are rather than miss out on the conversation?

I am a firm believer that the best thing breastfeeding women can do for normalising breastfeeding is to feed wherever baby wants to. It's only by people seeing this happening that it will (re)start to be seen as the norm.

jillie1974

hi realbutter

ClareEmily

pinkshoes wrote: »

My little one is only 11 days old, so I've done all breast feeding upstairs so far, as I'm not overly confident with it (and he's a nightmare to feed!!).

He's been excessively sleepy due to jaundice, so I've had to top him up with formula to stop him getting dehydrated, as he fell asleep within minutes of latching on. I've had my parents comment that I should be making more effort with the breast feeding (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - I do need to sleep and can't feed him every 30 minutes!), but on the other hand, I got a dirty look from a couple when I was bottle feeding him in a cafe, despite the fact that the bottle contained expressed breast milk!!

Have you tried getting a nursing cover? They have a plastic loop thing at the top so you can see what's going on and others can't!

What annoyed me most was that I had to stay in hospital due to him not latching on and feeding, yet if I'd just shoved a bottle of formula in his mouth, they'd have let me go home!

Firstly Many congrats

Ditto for at least 3 weeks I went upstairs as he would only feed when we were both laying down on the bed, he was also a nightmare to latch on, it gets a LOT easier believe me.

I am googling "nursing cover" now.

meritaten

oh sweety - this thread has just pushed one of my buttons!!!
I had three children and breastfed all of them with varying degrees of success!
first child, my daughter, I wasnt too confident and listened to the pro-bottle brigade with the result that I gave up after six weeks (but I would say to anyone else who fed for six weeks - well done!!!! you have just given your baby its best start in life).
second child, first son, I fed him for nearly three years! he gave it up when i was pregnant although he was only feeding for comfort by then (I called my boobs 'Hs' dummies). and boy did i get some stick! one nurse actually called me un-natural, luckily for me this doctor heard her and tore strips off her - telling her that in HIS culture I would be considered a good mother but it was nothing unusual! and that most british mothers were rather looked down on by women where he came from as we dont breastfeed as a matter of course and that we dont feed for long enough!
third child, second son I fed for six months but got dangerously underwieght and felt so ill all the time I gave in bottle fed - unfortunately my son cannot tolerate cows milk and became asthmatic and hyperactive.
All this was over 27 years ago and its clear from your post (and others) that attitudes havent changed much in that time!
All I can say is - YOU are doing the right thing by your baby. dont let other ignorant people put you off.
my top tips
learn to feed the baby under a shawl - I can guarantee that once you get the hang of it NO-ONE will even notice you.
In your own home, if visitors are squeamish or disaproving announce you are about to feed the baby and you STAY put - its up to them to stay or leave!
in other peoples homes - use the shawl trick - when baby starts crying, announce he likes being cuddled with the shawl around both of you then once he is positioned just adjust your clothing underneath the shawl and let him latch on. wont hurt if just for once he doesnt get both sides! you do need a fairly large shawl for this though. or drape a smaller one over one shoulder and then you work by feel.
honestly! considering some of the revealing clothing worn these days and the topless pics everywhere I cannot see where people are coming from - being shocked at the sight of a baby being breastfed as nature intended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!