Menopause Matters

joyfull

Thanks Bronnie,

I've always been constitutionally physically weak ie. low body weight, poor digestion, aches & pains etc which gives rise to being prone to anxiety & general sensitivity. The menopause is like, at times, being in a war zone, yet another assault on the body.

I simply feel unable to compete in the work place any more and with never being able to rely on any more than 5-6 hrs broken sleep I try to earn money where I can control my hours and manage my energy output (I'm an Avon lady). I live, though, on an extremely low income.

Even with the above, I'm content with my lot in many ways. The name joyfull is partly taken from my own name.

Red_Doe

I agree with Joyfull...the physical symptoms of the menopause can cause all sorts of problems in everyday life...some days I feel so worn out with lack of sleep, for example, nothing gets done, or if I have to work, it feels like the day is twice as long...
I tend to cope with plenty catnaps, chamomile tea and blind optimism

Firebird

Here here. I would like to see this thread carry on.
A little bit of support can go a long way. Just knowing other people have similar symptoms and you are not "losing it" can make a big difference.

plainsie

I read somewhere that Soya products help relieve hot flushes and in asian countries where women consume a lot of soya, they haven't heard of hot flushes. I thought this was rubbish. However after being diagnosed dairy intolerent I started on Soya milk couple of years ago. When I'm here and on the soya milk all the time my flushes actually don't seem so frequent but when I go to visit family abroad I just use ordinary milk cos it's sometimes hard to find the soya milk and my flushes are usually worse. Don't know if it is just physcological or not.

Bronnie

Where sensible dietary choices can influence (psychologically or otherwise..... does it matter?) menopausal symptoms, it's certainly worth a try.

I think it's potentially fairly disastrous for women who find their ability to do their paid work or to work the number of hours they would wish is compromised by menopausal symptoms, particularly if you are the main breadwinner.

Anyone else found themselves in this situation?

lostinrates

Bronnie wrote: »

Where sensible dietary choices can influence (psychologically or otherwise..... does it matter?) menopausal symptoms, it's certainly worth a try.

I think it's potentially fairly disastrous for women who find their ability to do their paid work or to work the number of hours they would wish is compromised by menopausal symptoms, particularly if you are the main breadwinner.

Anyone else found themselves in this situation?

I'm not menopausal yet, but had to say I think its vital to address this within MSE as this aspect of earnings impact is huge for some women.

My mother found her ability to work diminished significantly. She had to leave her paid employment and set up her own business, which was still hard, but gave her the option of disgruntling clients and cancelling. As a kid I had to call her clients in the morning before school sometimes..not quite regularly to cancel due to her ''ill health''. She never really got her stamina back either. I think that just as some women find them selves crippled by period pains/hormonal migraines etc etc etc while other women have no or few health or pain associated problems with menstruation the same is likely to be true of the menopause: both can impact significantly on a women's earnings and expenditure.

Hope its ok I chipped in...

joyfull

To see the issue of menopause and it's impact on earning potential aired is very heartwarming somehow.

I feel constant insecurity about how I will earn money until I get a pension (I'm 54 & live alone). I'm in no doubt that my 'problems' would be trivialised by the medical profession. I wouldn't dare share this on the benefits board as the response by many would be predictably harsh. I do all I can to stay well with lifestyle, nutrition etc but in the last couple of years feel I have aged a great deal and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. A year ago I fell and lost 2 front teeth - it really shook me. Society makes a joke of the menopause. It's definitely not funny.

Anyway, this is NOT a call for sympathy, but it's good to share it.

Red_Doe

Joyfull, please have some sympathy anyways...(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
because I`m in a similar boat. Self employed...when I get really bad days with the menopause, there`s no sick days nor anyone to take over the work. At my worst, I`ve retreated to the loo to simply sit and weep for a wee while...
Between the physical symptoms and the emotional ones, we are thrown a curve...often when life becomes increasingly busy as many of us are seeing growing youngsters out into the world (not to mention the sense of loss that can come with that) and the changes in our body stress us as we struggle to adapt..but also the fact that middle aged women tend to become invisible in society...seen often as dowdy, even uninspiring..and yes, there ARE role models out there for older women, but the ones in the media almost without exception tend to have the pressure on them to still look young, don`t you think?
Well, I`m in a settled, happy relationship and although I always try to look my best for the other half, looking young is beyond my capabilities
Too many happy years outdoors in the sun has taken its toll, but most of all, the changes that come at this time of life are morphing me into a more comfortable baggage of a woman.
And I truly don`t mind that...after all, I`m alive! Ironic, then, that just as I can fully appreciate my life and all the riches I`ve worked hard to achieve, ( not monetary!) along comes the change of life and tries to ensure I don`t get complacent. The hard way.
Once we reach our age, this landmark hits us right between the eyes. It can change for better or worse our closest relationships (how many menopausal women don`t feel attractive any more, or whose children now view them as old farts? ) but also our economic status..if we work, it does become increasingly difficult to cope with symptoms that aren`t an illness, precisely, but that act as if they are. Or if we are looking for work as the children flee the nest, our age tends to make potential employers discount us as `past it`.
Can`t speak for anyone else, but I`m learning to focus on my self worth through evaluating the past..not as easy as it sounds, because there are periods in my life fraught with distress and misery..but also there are genuinely good things I`ve achieved, and though I may have to achieve future goodies at a slower pace I`m not done yet.

Firebird

That was a good read Red Doe. I enjoyed that and so accurate. I am just trying to learn to cope with the horrible symptoms at the moment and the constant feelings of anxiety over trivial things.
Joyfull, you have my sympathy, it is no joke, it can at times be both mentally and physically debilitating.

joyfull

Red Doe that's a lovely post!

I can so relate to it. I've also had to dig deep inside to anchor my sense of self to something more enduring than looks, work status, health, opinions of others - those external things that are at the mercy of this ageing body. I have a partner who finds me attractive, but I sometimes struggle to feel that way about myself.

Your comment 'I'm alive' strikes a chord. These days I often pause in the day and simply enjoy the sun on my face, sip of tea, the sight of a windswept sky, a warm bed.... Life is good.

Now and again one comes across a truly beautiful older person who, although living in a wrinkled & crumpled body, simply shines with contentment. A sense of having found inner freedom. This is possible, I'm certain of it.

Cripes! I've gone all philosophical!