Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

kidcat

Sammy - she is lovely, re HV - I would also write a letter to her superiors stating that whilst you will let her into the house to prove nothing untoward but that you have regularly taken her to clinic and that you are very unhappy with the way she has treated you. It may even be worth requesting she only be allowed to attend with her superior present.

Batteries - I buy rechargeable and normal, the rechargeable from online special offers - making sure I buy the ones with the highest mAh figure (I think thats what it is called anyway) and normal from Ikea - these seem to do quite well, as good as some of the better makes definitely - but cheaper.

Forgot to say - re redundancies - most councils etc wil have budget set till March, as most Govt organisations too, everyone I know involved in anything public sector/paid for by govt/local govt is quoting end March as when most jobs will be lost/given notice. My friend works for CAB and they have been told same.

Charis

determined_new_ms wrote: »

1. deal with whatever the problems are that are making you depressed (this is where you need the anti-d's to help take away the depressive symptoms enough to be motivated to make long term changes)
2. get counselling. I had counselling for 18 months. It helped me work through some issues. It hasn't changed my problems, they're still there although thru doing 1 (its still a working progress) they are not as severe. It has also made me see while these difficulties are painful & real they are one part of my life and do not have to colour every other part
3. I took up running in the summer. Again really has helped me see things in perspective, when a new problem arises its easier to deal with and I don't think "my life is awful I want to die". Exercise is so important to stay healthy & is now proven to be more effectively than anti-d's for mild to moderate depression.
4. Eat a healthy diet
5. surround myself my people who make me happy & weed out the ones who made me doubt myself
6. learn to trust myself


Hth x

Excellent list DMS, and uncannily the last three items I also listed only yesterday, as I am coming to terms with some changes taking place in my life. A couple of other things I've done is to rearrange my waking hours and also begun to work on strengthening my personal boundaries, making it less difficult to say no to others.

My waking hours were gradually getting later during the summer and I was missing out on daylight after the clocks went back, because it was 'too early to get up yet'. Midday (GMT) really is the middle of the daylight hours - not that I was getting up that late, but any daylight lost makes it more depressing.

The 'boundaries' issue is one I've always had trouble with. I found an excellent resource on Oprah's site
Once your personal boundaries are strong, it's like having a firewall to keep out malicious or unhelpful influences from those in our social circle and beyond. I learnt that my tactic (learned in childhood) of going along with people to avoid confrontation was actually avoiding responsibility for things I need to face head on. I can't help wishing I'd known it all years ago.

lil_me

Sammy complain to her manager and if necessary higher, that's a shocking way to go on! Also call the SW who visited last time and ask their advice on her bullying/threats. I was just sorting a complaint last week with our locality manager for HVs and school nurses, drives me mad when they aren't doing their job then try to flag child protection cases for brownie points

Frugal do you hire your friends out? Enjoy x

I've just found some hot water bottles new ones I got last year and lost so they will come in handy, house lost 4 sacks of insulation(rubbish I have binned) today. Unfortunatly another soggy day so the TD is on but it warms the house a bit too so dropped heating down.

[Deleted User]

Mrs VG my dh had colitis very badly when he was in his 30s so no wonder your dh is depressed as it is so very debilitating plus the side effects of medication etc. Don`t believe anyone who says it cannot be cured because it most definitely can. My dh went to see a naturopath and he changed his diet quite drastically and I remember him only really eating boiled white rice and stewed apples to begin with. We were obviously very careful about what he ate once he was on the mend ie wrt greens, beans, curries etc but now he eats everything (except I don`t do curries as I don`t like them). My dh was hospitalised twice via ambulance and he didn`t need medication a year or so after he started the path to healing. I do remember cutting out his milk and all milk products etc for quite a while but foods can be re-introduced gradually

I need to go back and read more posts now but I did see SKs gorgeous baby. What a treasure

seasalt_2

Trying to catch up again! I have only been away for a day! Hippeechiq, thanks for asking about Dept Ag inspection - we're still waiting! Sheep are done but cattle visit has been rescheduled for this week - they "forgot" the previous appointment, or at least forgot to tell us they wouldn't be coming!
How is your DD? I know she had a letter and an appointment you were worried about and I am sorry if you have already posted how it went and I have missed it.

()s Mrs VegPlot. Your OH is very lucky to have you and I hope he gets appropriate help for his depression and that the whole burden of dealing with this doesn't fall on your shoulders.

Gailey, I think we must have the same mum! In the days when there was only myself and DD1 it used to annoy me that she would offer to sweep the stairs or whatever as soon as she got through the front door - especially when I had just cleaned the house from top to bottom because I knew she was coming! Nowadays, I am just grateful for any help going!

Congrats jediteacher. It is always nice to hear other people's good news and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Spendless, you obviously chose your username well - what a lovely day you describe. Hope you have had a lovely day with your friend too, frugal and that your house is tidy again so that you can relax and enjoy being in it. Also hope they do indeed find a rehab place for your Dad tomorrow.

I am also staving off mild depression at the moment. Walking along the shore is therapy for me but ironically, when I am feeling down I don't "allow" myself to do it. Stupid, I know. Can't remember who posted it - sorry - but I love the idea of a breakthrough rather than a breakdown. Have had two episodes of severe depression (counselling and medication) and both times I have felt (afterwards!) that it had been a breakthrough and I am usually pretty upfront about how much therapy helped me, saved my life even, but there is also that creeping self-doubt that somehow I don't cope as well as other people or as well as I think I should be able to, that it is all a sham. And then suddenly it all feels very shaky.

ETA Meant to say thankyou to Charis for the Oprah link too.

Margaret54

Hi Charis thank you so much for the link to Oprah. Very interesting reading indeed. Oh yes, it brought back a few memories about certain people in my life over the years:) Have learned a lot of things as I have got older, and reading this was good for me too

ceridwen

Primrose wrote: »

I think this is such a horrible thing to do, especially if some of the redundandces haven't been forecast earlier. They may say that they don't want to spoil Christmas for people but it can lull them into a false sense of security and some will spend more money over Christmas than they should. I know nobody wants bad news lurking over them at Christmas time but I'd have more respect for a company who let employees know which way the wind is blowing. Then at least the sensible ones can plan their finances accordingly. The worst case I know was a company signing a mortgage reference for an employee taking out a stonking great loan for a house he was buying knowing full well that a month further down the line he was going to be "let go". I don't think that's an honourable way to behave.

You're quite right - and the reason I recall this is because of the times I thought "That was a nasty thing to do - knowing very well that you were going to make them redundant - but not telling them till after they had spent all sorts of money on Christmas." I've also been aware of cases where people have only just taken on a mortgage or other expensive commitment - which they would have waited for if they had known at the time they started these things "on the road"..

I have been fortunate enough not to be caught out myself - as I have always had "a funny feeling" each time of what was about to happen before they told me I would be made redundant (I distinctly recall having a disagreement with a friend one time - where I told him "My current firm is about to make me redundant too" and he didnt believe me. I went back to him a month later and said "Told you so..they just have"). But there ARE times when employees are "caught on the hop" by redundancies - because they havent had any idea at all..

bluebag

Sammy-kaye,

Little Holly is scrumptious, I think it's a very good idea you having your family there when the HV attends.
Moral support never goes amiss.

ceridwen

Charis wrote: »

Excellent list DMS, and uncannily the last three items I also listed only yesterday, as I am coming to terms with some changes taking place in my life. A couple of other things I've done is to rearrange my waking hours and also begun to work on strengthening my personal boundaries, making it less difficult to say no to others.

My waking hours were gradually getting later during the summer and I was missing out on daylight after the clocks went back, because it was 'too early to get up yet'. Midday (GMT) really is the middle of the daylight hours - not that I was getting up that late, but any daylight lost makes it more depressing.

The 'boundaries' issue is one I've always had trouble with. I found an excellent resource on Oprah's site
Once your personal boundaries are strong, it's like having a firewall to keep out malicious or unhelpful influences from those in our social circle and beyond. I learnt that my tactic (learned in childhood) of going along with people to avoid confrontation was actually avoiding responsibility for things I need to face head on. I can't help wishing I'd known it all years ago.

There are IMHO two aspects to consider here - the "outer" stuff - of what one says, etc, to anyone trying "to cross the threshold" in ways they shouldnt (I don't always get the wording right yet - but its an ongoing process.....).

The other thing that I do actually find pretty helpful is the idea of surrounding myself with light mentally - another sort of "firewall" you could call it. So - I've been known before now to throw up "shields of light" round myself if I feel threatened. It is the VERY rare person indeed that will ever notice that a "virtual barrier" has just been thrown up or taken down - I've only seen one person obviously realise what I'd just "done"... so theres no possible embarrassment of "What will people think if they notice?". The one person who ever clearly DID notice just grinned broadly and raised his eyebrows..

parsonswife8

(Quote Sammy-Kaye) Think our blinds have given up the ghost too - they are roller ones and the material is starting to come away from the top so will get some nets on Tuesday.

Our black out blind in the bathroom did the same. DH took it down, cut the blind away from the roller and then re-glued it with superglue, you can buy loads from a Pound Shop.

Result...like new.:j

How old is Holly now Sammy? Your post says 18 months..surely not?

It doesn't even seem like 8 months since you posted the pic of the two of you, after she had been born.:)