Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

jackieglasgow

Hugs MrsVP, you've had lots of good advice re the money side of things, and I didn't feel I had anything to add about that, but regarding the depression, I have a very good friend who is ill with depression at the moment, and not at all happy about taking meds for it. I explained to her that if she were diabetic she would have no second thoughts about taking insulin, and that as a person with depression she had to give herself a fighting chance of getting better by taking them. She also self medicated with booze for a wee while, which was scary, but she seems to have stopped now, watch out for your husband doing this, men especially use drink to hide from their feelings.

bluebag

jediteacher wrote: »

Thank you all very much for your lovely words of congratulations. Due to things not going well before I'm just very weary of what is going to happen this time. I have passed the time when I lost my other pregnancies but the worry and fear never goes away. Next scan in 2 weeks.
I wasn't afraid of sharing good news I just know that for some it is hard (as it was for me) to hear about these things and I was just trying to be sensitive.
Anyway, haven't told the family yet and I am not looking forward to one of those calls as my brother and his wife have been told they cannot have children.
Thank you all again for your kind words. :A

Congratulations that's lovely news.

I was told many years ago that I couldn't have children, it took a while to get used to the idea but you realise that you have to get on with it. There are compensations too, like more money and a smaller home.

When people would tell me they were expecting, I was really pleased for them, my own situation had nothing to do with them. I really hoped it wouldn't put them off sharing the experience with me.

Fate has a weird hand though because just out of nowhere in my late 30's I had two kids, life can sometimes be a bit surpising!

kidcat

Jackie - excellent point - I remember using the analogy to someone that if she had a burst appendix would she want it operated on or rather just take a few paracetamol and hope it came right soon.

Spendless

Hi everyone. 1st time I've posted in this thread. I posted occassionally in the others.

I've had such a good few days I wanted to share. Work has asked me to up my hours. Hubby has swapped company vehicles for the w'end. His workmate has our 7 seater, enabling him to go see family, and we have his van, which we moved a wardrobe in for some other friends, and as a thank you the wife altered 2 pairs of trousers for DH that he bought in a half price sale this week.

We got several bottles of diet coke from a friend last night. it had come as frebies when they ordered take-aways and they don't drink it. Hubby, son and friend went to see football, kids were £1, but if hubby had waited another 10 minutes before ordering they could have gone for free, as an offer for them attending the holiday club in half term- never mind.

Tidying my car to drop everyone off I found 2 small bottles of pop from other day, so that went to the match so they didn't need drinks. Me and DD went to a play pub and had a free dessert with coupons that we'd got from a meal my grandmother bought last month. DD went to play and I read a paper, in there was a voucher for a fre advent calendar so we went into town and picked that up and also bought 2 books from wh smiths, which meant I got a £10 gift card and a 20% off voucher to be used next week.

My 7yo said 'is this free day?'

I've also had my hours upped at work.

So hang on in there, all of you going thru the tough bit. I'm proof that things can and do get better (even if you can't see it at the time)!

Fruball

Spendless wrote: »

Hi everyone. 1st time I've posted in this thread. I posted occassionally in the others.

I've had such a good few days I wanted to share. Work has asked me to up my hours. Hubby has swapped company vehicles for the w'end. His workmate has our 7 seater, enabling him to go see family, and we have his van, which we moved a wardrobe in for some other friends, and as a thank you the wife altered 2 pairs of trousers for DH that he bought in a half price sale this week.

We got several bottles of diet coke from a friend last night. it had come as frebies when they ordered take-aways and they don't drink it. Hubby, son and friend went to see football, kids were £1, but if hubby had waited another 10 minutes before ordering they could have gone for free, as an offer for them attending the holiday club in half term- never mind.

Tidying my car to drop everyone off I found 2 small bottles of pop from other day, so that went to the match so they didn't need drinks. Me and DD went to a play pub and had a free dessert with coupons that we'd got from a meal my grandmother bought last month. DD went to play and I read a paper, in there was a voucher for a fre advent calendar so we went into town and picked that up and also bought 2 books from wh smiths, which meant I got a £10 gift card and a 20% off voucher to be used next week.

My 7yo said 'is this free day?'

I've also had my hours upped at work.

So hang on in there, all of you going thru the tough bit. I'm proof that things can and do get better (even if you can't see it at the time)!

WOW now that IS what i call a successful day!!! :T

katholicos

About Depression and taking anti depressants...there does seem to be something of a long standing stigma about it....and it's for no good reason if you ask me. When i was in my early 20's I was hospitalised for depression following a very difficult and traumatic period in my life. I felt ashamed not to be able to 'cope'...stiff upper lip and all that carp don't you know. But my Mum said to me 'If you had a broken leg would you get treatment for it?'

Now, 20 years later i find myself once again taking prescribed meds for depression and there are still times when i think badly of myself for not 'coping with life better'. Depression is a most excruciating illness that impinges upon all areas of ones life and it is severely debilitating and cruel. It is terribly easy for people (not on here) to say that we should be able to 'snap out of it' or 'pull our socks up'...(both, and far, far worse have been said to me over the years), but depression is a physical condition as well as a mental health condition and requires treatent like any other illness.

Mrs. V. P, i think you are being marvellously supportive of your OH, even if you are tempted to bury him beneath your patio. The doctor may advise counselling or relaxation or what have you, though perhaps may suggest medication if it is thought to be necessary :-)

Your OH may mistakenly think that taking meds because he isn't 'coping too well at the moment' may infer that in some way he is weak or less manly, which we know is not the case, though he may not believe it himself. All the very best to you both.

lil_me

Congratulations Jediteacher, great news, all the more reason to be frugal so you can have more things for baby hope all goes well with the bloods etc. Not medical advice but just something I am aware of, when you're older you usually need more calcium and iron when expecting. Tea and coffee reduce your absorbtion of both, especially with iron. Vitamin C helps absorb so even if it's just fresh juice etc make sure you're getting plenty x
Mrsvegplot sorry to hear about that, so hard to deal with, it's just happened to a friend and I know she was devestated about the fact he kept it from her. With the medication in most cases it's really not necessary and many GPs dish them out to quieten people instead of therapy first, hopefully your GP will be more understanding x
BB air is system maybe, might be worth googling it's symptoms. If it's JUST outside warranty you can usually argue it, consumer direct will help usually too.
Frugal hope your Dad is feeling better
Spendless nice to hear things are getting better for you

Speaking of babies I mentioned to my local charity shop (I always used for books as it's cheaper than fines) when I found out I was expecting and she kept everything they got in brand new until I'd had a look which was nice of them

CFS my friend has it quite severe for about 10 years now and is overjoyed having ran 10km recently, sticking two fingers up as it were

I keep popping in and out of here, sometimes I read then just don't have time to post. So cold here and the fleece blankets are now out. I'll admit now, for the first time I am burying my head in the sand a little financially and know it's hard at the minute but I've not been ready to face it for a while so I figure frugality first tactics needed. I've almost stopped smoking, I was on mostly roll ups anyway but nearly stopped now, occasionally cave in which is made harder by DP still smoking but not had one today so far.

I have figured we're spending a lot on groceries or at the worst take outs when I was running on a fairly empty freezer/cupboards so I did a big home delivery shop. I think I just couldn't face a big shop, I hate it so delivery is easier. For ethical reasons I prefer using the coop but sorry when times aren't good you're just too expensive! I have just been given £200 in MrT gift cards for some stuff I did voluntarily as a thank you, ethically hate them but I will be using the vouchers. I'm going to see if they can be used on fuel too, something we go through a lot of. I do need to find the Dunelm credit note I got at the beginning of the year, I've had it last month but can't remember which safe place I put it in. Going to buy some fleeces and some house things like baking trays etc I need and start cooking more again.

I'm off to meal plan, must reduce spends!

bluebag

A lot of people are unaware depression is often caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, add in a few of life's difficulties and it gets hairy. Many anti-depressants correct the imbalance, leading to easing of symptoms.

charlies-aunt

I think sometimes we are our own worse critics - if you need help, whether meds or therapy, to get through a bad patch - do what you need to do to make your life better and to hell with what other people think.

I had a lots of ups and downs and I'm not ashamed to say that I've had both medication and counselling on more than one occasion.

If you start to feel down, it can mean a slow slide into deep depression unless you take action before passing the point of no return. A dear friend of mine suffered stoically and silently for many years before choosing one bright sunny morning to climb over her 17th floor balcony and jump into oblivion.... I knew she had felt down but had no inkling she felt so bad.

I don't think that there is any one method for helping with depression - just do what works for you, look after your health and don't be hard on yourself! ...and keep posting here - we are all in it together

Mrs_Veg_Plot

Ceridwen and Molly 41 thanks for your supportive PM's. I am sure it will all get sorted out eventually, but it will be a slow fix rather than a quick fix.

Depression can be very debilitating. I had a bad bout of it three years ago and was reluctant to take any medication which on reflection was another example of my denial of the situation. I did have a short course of medication to control the worst of the anxiety symptoms I was suffering from. I also saw a counsellor through work. Counselling was definatly not an easy option and it was weeks before I started dealing with the real issues and five months before I could go back to work. One of the many helpful things I took away was her reasurance that I had not had a break down but had had a break through. I thought that this was a wonderfully sensible approach to the issues I was juggling at the time. Unfortunatly OH did not know how to deal with me or my issues at the time and I suspect he is concerned about how ill I was and if he will be the same if he "gives in". Hopefully my experience will enable me to support him.
I think the new job he will be starting at the end of the month will help as he will be working with someone he has had a really good working relationship with in the past. It would be great to see him smile again.