Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

charlies-aunt

Reading the posts brought to mind the phrase " They know the cost of everything and the value of nothing".

We have a spending limit now - absolute max of £200 each for our two DD's and £20 for each other and MIL.

Friends get £10-£5 - or - nothing if we have agreed not to buy for each other. TBH, with a £5 I (and lots of fellow posters on here) can put together a nice little hamper with a mix of HM and BOGOF goodies

parsonswife8

DH has insulated our whole loft with 8 inch depth of insulation..cost him less then £20 from Homebase..

You can really notice the difference.:)

We also bought a new kingsize duvet from Mr T..13.5 tog. Collected it yesterday. I slept like a bear.:o

[Deleted User]

its all about getting as close to zero carbon as possible ie sheep have to be sheared so it is a good use for the wool which would be wasted. At least it does give sheep farmers some return. The walls are painted with lime based paint and there is zero geopathic stress so the house has a very calim atmosphere. The only wireless radiation is when we have the internet on and we don`t even have a dect phone in order to keep the em radiation as close to zero as possible. I have an electro-smog meter and there is no area in this house above the lowest green level. A lot different from our last house when I am sure I could always hear a continual hum. I always feel drained when I go into big shops or to a town centre with big buildings and bright lights and I am sure that they are energy sucking due to the constant bombardment with em radiation

ceridwen

UnderPressure wrote: »

Although I agree with your sentiments completely and indeed would even say well done on the decision you took, it is a little different when you have little ones, sadly a 3,7 and 9 year old isn't too interested in Santa being skint nor would they be open to the idea of a Christmas with no presents...............................

I do think it is important though and agree with you completely that people really need to look at their own financial situations and spend accordingly, we are usually guilty of spoling our children rotten and take it from me it does no good, it may make you think you are giving them the very best of everything but in reality they generally appreciate none of it, this is my experience and we have had murders over the last couple of years with our oldest 2, not demanding things but just general attitude and they way they speak to us and deal with each other, spoilt brats come to mind!!!

This year is the start of a whole new theme for us, yes we to have hit the buffers over the last 2 years in a big way, more debt and ccj's and bailiffs than you could shake a stick at all through trying to make something of ourselves and our business failing miserably 2 years ago Life simply cannot and will not continue the way it was simple as!

I have limited my 3 to £300 each this year, this is still a lot of money but compared to around 1k each on previous years it is also a lesson all 3 of them need to learn, we are concentrating this year on things they really want rather than things we think they will like and generally never do, I had a heartbreaking moment a few weeks ago when it was time to clear out the garden shed, it was packed to the roof with toys and bikes and go carts and all sorts of stuff, you know about 70% of it had NEVER been played with and was not resaleable because we could not accomodate any of it in the house due to their bedrooms being full to bursting point as well, it took me 6 tip runs in my volvo estate with a trailer to empty the dam thing, the money that went to the tip that day was truly heartbraking

LESSON LEARNT! Well and truly spoling them does them no favours take it from me you WILL end up with a spoilt brat that is more likely to get into debt themselves when they are older.

I have learnt a lot of very harsh lessons over the last 2 years and belive it or not if I could I would change none of it, I do believe this was a journey we HAD to be part of to ultimately make all our lives better in the long term, children learn by example and the example we were setting the by spoiling them to death constantly really was not the right example.

We have bought nothing yet, not one single thing which in itself has been lovely in previous years we started on the Christmas present in July, so far not 1 single present, the funds are in place over the coming weeks but I made dam sure the funds to pay rent and all my bills were in place first.

Sorry for he long post I ust felt the need to share my experience with you all, it is far to easy to feel a failure as a parent when you cannot provide this that and the other when truth be known it is all irrelevant anyhow.........................

I think we will all have different takes on what constitutes a reasonable level on the one hand/an economy level on the other hand on presents.

To me personally (if I was still a child! - many years ago now that would be....) then I wouldnt for one second have expected the equivalent of £1,000 worth of Christmas presents. I would think I was doing quite well with £300 of Xmas presents and, if I had had the family finances explained to me as being "dire" and "we all have to do our bit" then I think I would accept £100 worth each (or even £50 worth) as being perfectly acceptable.

Obviously - I'm many years on from childhood now - so these days there isnt anything small really that either my parents or myself actually need or even particularly want - so we give each other "token" presents that cost about £20 mark each I would say and thats deemed perfectly okay by all three of us. Children expect more I know - but I honestly think £100 each would suffice - and, since there is bailiffs knocking at the door, then £50 each might "do the trick" perfectly acceptably.

I was only thinking about it the other day as to what I would expect to give any child I had as Christmas presents. I thought that probably one "big" present of about £100 and a bag of smaller "fun" things - maybe £20 worth of things from places like Poundland (depending on their age of course...:)) would probably be what they would get as "normal". I know I was brought up not to expect to be "spoiled" and there wasnt the money to do so anyway...hence I would be cautious about what I gave in return. I know my parents took/take the view that I must learn "The World doesnt owe you a living" on the one hand - but wouldnt see me suffer for lack of money for something I HAVE to have on the other hand (which I tend to feel is a pretty "balanced" attitude overall....).

shegar

parsonswife8 wrote: »

DH has insulated our whole loft with 8 inch depth of insulation..cost him less then £20 from Homebase..

You can really notice the difference.:)

We also bought a new kingsize duvet from Mr T..13.5 tog. Collected it yesterday. I slept like a bear.:o

We had 10 inch of insulation put in by a government scheme 2 year ago, boy did that make a difference , before that was put up there we only had 2 inches , now when the boiler shuts down the rooms stay at 21 degrees for more than an hour after, so its definately worth having more insulation than less........ that was good to get your loft done for £20 quid...:D ....bargain.:D

How nice to snuggle down in a comfy new duvet on a winters night....:D

UnderPressure

ceridwen wrote: »

I think we will all have different takes on what constitutes a reasonable level on the one hand/an economy level on the other hand on presents.

To me personally (if I was still a child! - many years ago now that would be....) then I wouldnt for one second have expected the equivalent of £1,000 worth of Christmas presents. I would think I was doing quite well with £300 of Xmas presents and, if I had had the family finances explained to me as being "dire" and "we all have to do our bit" then I think I would accept £100 worth each (or even £50 worth) as being perfectly acceptable.

Obviously - I'm many years on from childhood now - so these days there isnt anything small really that either my parents or myself actually need or even particularly want - so we give each other "token" presents that cost about £20 mark each I would say and thats deemed perfectly okay by all three of us. Children expect more I know - but I honestly think £100 each would suffice - and, since there is bailiffs knocking at the door, then £50 each might "do the trick" perfectly acceptably.

I was only thinking about it the other day as to what I would expect to give any child I had as Christmas presents. I thought that probably one "big" present of about £100 and a bag of smaller "fun" things - maybe £20 worth of things from places like Poundland (depending on their age of course...:)) would probably be what they would get as "normal". I know I was brought up not to expect to be "spoiled" and there wasnt the money to do so anyway...hence I would be cautious about what I gave in return. I know my parents took/take the view that I must learn "The World doesnt owe you a living" on the one hand - but wouldnt see me suffer for lack of money for something I HAVE to have on the other hand (which I tend to feel is a pretty "balanced" attitude overall....).

You are absolutely right The bailiffs are now a very bad memory (thank goodness) we have finally reached the light at the end of our tunnel, everything in our world is not perfect far from it but it could be a whole lot worst

I do think 2-300 pounds is about right TBH, the problem is the price of everything and also childrens expectations, for example when I was a kid I was more than happy with a bike 1 christmas in fact I was overwhelmed lol bless me Nowadays though yes you can pick a bike up for around the 100 pound mark but todays children dont expect to get just a bike they expect more, thanks to TV and the internet and games consoles and mobile phones and and and the list is endless.

There is also the issue of peer pressure, now luckily this is not something my kids see too much of that because they go to a small village school that has an infants and juniors under 1 roof and even then there is only about 25 children in the whole school in the middle of nowhere in Wales, the children tend to be a bit more mild mannered, where as in the towns and we came from one about 7 years ago it is a different story, such as the person in this thread who was telling us about their young son being picked on this week because he did not have the latest video game, it is all well and good as a parent to say you are not giving into peer pressure but it is not the parent that it is experiencing it is it??

Most children in the UK dont know how good they have it compared to some countried on out great planet but as a parent if you see your child unhappy because all his mates at school have been calling him names because he does not have the right brand of trainers it is the easiest thing in the world to end the child misery and buy him the dam trainers, what are you supposed to do? Not buy the trainers and fill the child full of "good old fashioned reasoning", will this stop his tormentors?

I think the amount some people spend on their kids to be ridiculous, ourselves included going back a few years but in the year 2010 I dont see 2-300 pounds as being over the top, far from it considering the price of everything to begin with. The UK has turned into probably one of the most expensive places in the world to live the main problem being peoples income has not increased as fast as their expenditure but thats a whole other subject that has been bashed to death already

You have to spend what you feel comfortable in spending and of course as any parent you always want the best you can achieve for your kids anyhow, I do think 2-300 pounds is about right.

[Deleted User]

I remember being so so glad to be given a a paper sweet shop and a cardboard doll to dress up with dresses with tabs. Children don`t all have high expectations and many have more empathy than adults give them credit for. Our own children were never ever given over the top presents and the most I would ever have spent in todays money would have been about £100 each on a main plus several cheap things to add bulk. Never in a million years would we have spent £1000 on a present. Maybe that is why we have never been in financial trouble, although we have been frugal

Frugalista

UnderPressure wrote: »

I had a heartbreaking moment a few weeks ago when it was time to clear out the garden shed, it was packed to the roof with toys and bikes and go carts and all sorts of stuff, you know about 70% of it had NEVER been played with and was not resaleable because we could not accomodate any of it in the house due to their bedrooms being full to bursting point as well, it took me 6 tip runs in my volvo estate with a trailer to empty the dam thing, the money that went to the tip that day was truly heartbraking

What a shame that it wasn't all taken to charity shops instead of going into landfill . I know there are CS in my area that would be thrilled with that amount of virtually new kiddies toys (and plenty of parents too, I suspect).

parsonswife8

shegar wrote: »

We had 10 inch of insulation put in by a government scheme 2 year ago, boy did that make a difference , before that was put up there we only had 2 inches , now when the boiler shuts down the rooms stay at 21 degrees for more than an hour after, so its definately worth having more insulation than less........ that was good to get your loft done for £20 quid...:D ....bargain.:D

How nice to snuggle down in a comfy new duvet on a winters night....:D

Well they were £3 a roll and two of the rolls, the packaging had been damaged, so they charged him £2 instead of £6.

Bargain:rotfl::rotfl:

And I had had the previous duvet for 11 years.:o

bluebag

OMG!!! I've just made twinx for the first time. Is there a twinx re-hab sort of priory place??
It's caused a scrum in the kitchen.