Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

ceridwen

Ach! By now Annie I wonder sometimes if all our hopes/expectations that we will meet Mr/Miss Right are based on societal expectations/norms - rather than there being a concrete basis in fact for thinking like this.

Thats me in cynical mode - and I DO wish all the best to those who have met him/her. Personally - I dont know any more about "all that". Maybe its because thats how things are - maybe its because I've got other things I wanted/want to focus on in my life. Who knows? - and I couldnt tell you the answer myself.

I tend to have the philosophy personally that all of us have something or other major that we might like/might have liked in our lives - but that we all have to miss out on at least one major aspect of a "standard life" (be it health/looks/money/a good marriage/a fulfilling career/having children - delete as applicable - according to what is important/desirable to us personally). So - if one looks at it like that - then I personally think "Okay - if I had to choose to miss out on something and I had to choose what it would be - then what would I choose to do without?" Answer - well actually - I've probably missed out on the thing I was best able to cope with personally. I couldnt personally handle bad health/ugly looks/terrible money problems - so I would rather be a bit reluctantly single if push comes to shove than have to put up with those other things I would also not like to have. So maybe we all choose to miss out on THE thing that will hurt us least out of the things that are important to us....just my two pence worth....

katholicos

Frugal wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek: My birthday is on the 9th... Does this mean I will have to wait for the 9th relationship to actually work? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl:

Well my birthday is on the first day of the month so what the heck must that mean?

Seriously though, i'm actually really content the way i am. If it's meant to happen for me it will, but i'm okay if it doesn't

NualaBuala

ceridwen wrote: »

Oh..I've given up all idea now of finding Mr Right. I've just decided that - in my case - it aint a gonna happen - so I'm focusing on other things:). It is nice/heartwarming to read that other people have managed it - ie Annie and Parsonswife - and I wish them all the best. Make the best of it....I would say.

Anyways.Nuala...hopefully all will be well with your friend and she has the same set of "expectations" as you do and the thought just hadnt occurred to her to think anything other than she would be paying for the dress. Its just as well to discuss these things though and hopefully all will be well.

I think the thing is in this Society that the vast majority of us only mix with people with very much the same set of "expectations"/tastes as we ourselves do - and it can be one heck of a shock if we venture outside our own personal "comfort zone" to realise that others have an equally strong (and totally different...) set of ideas/tastes to ourselves and we are having to "glue our mouth shut" very fast and remind ourselves that "It aint wrong - its just different...". Even things like sets of manners - and I am still sitting there thinking "What?......" about having seen a friend tuck her napkin into her collar to eat...as I hadnt realised that anyone did that....but I "glued my mouth shut" very fast and didnt say owt - because I know her way and mine are just different - rather than either of us being right or wrong..

So - if people can manage to be SO different on minor things like this - then its hardly surprising that there are vast differences sometimes in "expectations" about how major things are done/who pays...

Thanks Ceridwen, I think it will be fine one way or another. We used to be very alike but I guess I changed. We're still great friends though; she knows my funny green and frugal ways and seems quite accepting of them.

thriftmonster wrote: »

Aaagh - my birthday is the 30th - think I'd better break the news gently to dh!!!

So is mine ... and no way am I kissing that many frogs! Am officially declaring my singledom.

Charis

wmf wrote: »

Re literacy/ numeracy classes. These are great when they are targeted for specific groups of people. In a previous job I was a Basic Literacy tutor and really enjoyed one class which was an outreach for a young women's project. We aimed the literacy at what was helpful - reading labels, recipes, medicines, as well as form filling type stuff and poetry as well . The numeracy tutor did budgets with them. She also ran a short course on decorating your home on a budget. It was really a maths' skill course and those attending could work towards a certificate, but it was all geared around rolls of wallpaper and coverage of paint. I'd love to see these back in the community and can also see that places like LETS groups would be a possible outlet. You could trade running a class. Loads of people need help with forms, letter writing, CVs for literacy, and the maths side would also attract people. You get parents wanting to brush up because their kids are getting older and want more 'advanced' help with homework.

That's exactly the kind of thing I'd like to be involved in wmf, something that would really make a difference to other people's lives. I did train as a volunteer to help with Basic Skills and enjoyed it but it was in the next town, which is in the next county and hard for the people from this town to get to if they can't afford to run a car. Buses are infrequent too. Running a local group through LETS or a local Green group (if we had one) would mean that it could be based around what real people want and not some government-directed, box ticking, league table exercise .

ceridwen

NualaBuala wrote: »

Thanks Ceridwen, I think it will be fine one way or another. We used to be very alike but I guess I changed. We're still great friends though; she knows my funny green and frugal ways and seems quite accepting of them.


So is mine ... and no way am I kissing that many frogs! Am officially declaring my singledom.

:rotfl: Thats the attitude Nuala - Positive Singledom:D.

Errr...HOW many days are there in a month? Thought it was 31 at the most - ummm...welll....:silenced:. My official comment is "No comment":rotfl:. But then I'm the one who as a youngster said "I want one like you've got Mummy - only more up-to-date and a pacifist....." and she's been trying to tell me that my father is only human ever since.....

katholicos

ceridwen wrote: »

Answer - well actually - I've probably missed out on the thing I was best able to cope with personally. I couldnt personally handle bad health/ugly looks/terrible money problems

Gosh Ceridwen, that's about as shallow as a petre dish

I'm now curious about how good looking you are

Fruball

ceridwen wrote: »

:rotfl: Thats the attitude Nuala - Positive Singledom:D.

Errr...HOW many days are there in a month? Thought it was 31 at the most - ummm...welll....:silenced:. My official comment is "No comment":rotfl:. But then I'm the one who as a youngster said "I want one like you've got Mummy - only more up-to-date and a pacifist....." and she's been trying to tell me that my father is only human ever since.....

ROFLMAO! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

NualaBuala

ceridwen wrote: »

:rotfl: Thats the attitude Nuala - Positive Singledom:D.

Errr...HOW many days are there in a month? Thought it was 31 at the most - ummm...welll....:silenced:. My official comment is "No comment":rotfl:

:rotfl:
Very discreet Ceridwen!

Hmm, wonder if I can have an Official Singledom party. Would have to be done frugally of course. :A

ceridwen

katholicos wrote: »

Gosh Ceridwen, that's about as shallow as a petre dish

I'm now curious about how good looking you are

It will do standard -:(...now I'm a "certain age"...:(

Thats just saying how things are to me personally though....like I said...we all (I think) choose what we personally can cope with...or not...Just a question of knowing where our own personal limitations lie...

katholicos

littleowl wrote: »

I think there is the right person for the right time. Times change - we change - they change - and they are not right any more - or we are not right any more. Then there may be another right person for a right time. And then the right person for the right time is you. All wonderful - all right at the time. The one person that is constant is you. Je ne regrete rien. Am I making any sense?

You are making sense littleowl.