Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

katholicos

NualaBuala wrote: »

What a lovely post parsonswife, really inspirational ... gives me hope! Stay cosy and hope you have a wonderful stay there.

Me too :beer:

ceridwen

NualaBuala wrote: »

Yikes! I always thought the bride and groom paid for the dress etc. Am worried now, agreed to be a maid of honour for my friend. :eek: Am already worried about how I afford a pressie even though I have over a year to save for it ... there are just so many other things to save for too.

Well - look at it this way Nuala - now you are aware that there is more than one set of expectations about how things are on this in our Society - then you have enough notice to be able to check with your friend about how your and her expectations match (or otherwise).

I've never been a maid of honour myself - though I was asked to be at a relatives wedding. I turned down the invite anyway - as I knew that I personally would have "ruined the day" by getting upset that I never found my personal Mr Right (not that she did either - but thats quite another story........). I didnt want to take the risk of thoroughly embarrassing myself and upsetting the family applecart by the fact that I knew myself well enough to know that I would have burst in tears/been a right "wet blanket" - so I refused and just attended as a guest (on the same basis as everyone else). In the event - I was perfectly correct - as I burst in tears anyway - but at least I was somewhere at the back in the pews at the church, so was able to hide it to a large extent thank goodness....whew...:o

The thought never crossed my mind that the relative who had issued the invitation would have expected me to pay for my own dress (even more so with knowing JUST how different her taste is to mine - ie I would have junked the dress the second the wedding was over....).

So - hopefully - all will be well and the invitee is expecting to pay for the dress anyway...but it would be well to check.

Weddings and funerals are THE occasions it seems where it becomes very clear whether people have the same set of expectations about how things are conducted. It never occurred to me until I ended up feeling very hurt at not being invited to the weddings of a couple of friends - as my expectations are that friends are invited as automatically as relatives. I swallowed hard and realised that those two friends werent personally "hitting me across the face" by "forgetting" my invite - it was just a case that their automatic expectations were that only relatives attended weddings - so I mustnt take it personally. To me - its blindingly obvious that friends come too - but I know some people don't think of things the same way...

NualaBuala

You're quite right Ceridwen, I will have to have a chat with her. We are very different but I value her friendship and I think she will understand my circumstances and make allowances if I have to "step aside".
I am still dealing with my marriage breakup and I did wonder will I be visibly upset - would hate to spoil her day. I have gone off romance and relationships in a big way but you never know, after reading Annie's adventures and Parsonswife's happily ever after ... you and I might find Mr Right after all. Though in my case at least he would have his work cut out for him convincing me!

jackieglasgow

I have a very close friend, who is happily married but who subscribes to the belief that there is no such thing as Mr Right, there's only Mr Right Now, and that we have lots of "ones" who come in and out of our lives, and if we are very lucky, then one of them will result in a lifetime relationship. I hope that if she's right, then my Mr Right now is the one I've struck gold with, because I really CBA'd dating ever again!

ceridwen

NualaBuala wrote: »

You're quite right Ceridwen, I will have to have a chat with her. We are very different but I value her friendship and I think she will understand my circumstances and make allowances if I have to "step aside".
I am still dealing with my marriage breakup and I did wonder will I be visibly upset - would hate to spoil her day. I have gone off romance and relationships in a big way but you never know, after reading Annie's adventures and Parsonswife's happily ever after ... you and I might find Mr Right after all. Though in my case at least he would have his work cut out for him convincing me!

Oh..I've given up all idea now of finding Mr Right. I've just decided that - in my case - it aint a gonna happen - so I'm focusing on other things:). It is nice/heartwarming to read that other people have managed it - ie Annie and Parsonswife - and I wish them all the best. Make the best of it....I would say.

Anyways.Nuala...hopefully all will be well with your friend and she has the same set of "expectations" as you do and the thought just hadnt occurred to her to think anything other than she would be paying for the dress. Its just as well to discuss these things though and hopefully all will be well.

I think the thing is in this Society that the vast majority of us only mix with people with very much the same set of "expectations"/tastes as we ourselves do - and it can be one heck of a shock if we venture outside our own personal "comfort zone" to realise that others have an equally strong (and totally different...) set of ideas/tastes to ourselves and we are having to "glue our mouth shut" very fast and remind ourselves that "It aint wrong - its just different...". Even things like sets of manners - and I am still sitting there thinking "What?......" about having seen a friend tuck her napkin into her collar to eat...as I hadnt realised that anyone did that....but I "glued my mouth shut" very fast and didnt say owt - because I know her way and mine are just different - rather than either of us being right or wrong..

So - if people can manage to be SO different on minor things like this - then its hardly surprising that there are vast differences sometimes in "expectations" about how major things are done/who pays...

Fruball

parsonswife8 wrote: »

Good evening all




My third time lucky chance and as my birthday was yesterday, the 3rd, I rest my case.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Best wishes to all of you and lots of luck as well, in your lives and in everything you do.:)

Luck does turn, believe me. Just believe.:A

:eek::eek::eek::eek: My birthday is on the 9th... Does this mean I will have to wait for the 9th relationship to actually work? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl:

AnnieG

Frugal wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek: My birthday is on the 9th... Does this mean I will have to wait for the 9th relationship to actually work? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl:

Mine too!!! Although I've given up looking and fully expect to be single for evermore (I'm 37).

littleowl

I think there is the right person for the right time. Times change - we change - they change - and they are not right any more - or we are not right any more. Then there may be another right person for a right time. And then the right person for the right time is you. All wonderful - all right at the time. The one person that is constant is you. Je ne regrete rien. Am I making any sense?

thriftmonster

Aaagh - my birthday is the 30th - think I'd better break the news gently to dh!!!

bluebag

Parsonswife, I note you are having your peace ruined by unwanted telephone calls, Have you tried the telephone preference service which is free and will remove your phone number from calling lists.

Here is the link if you would like to check it out.

http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/