Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Fruball

Minihauk wrote: »

Hi All,
I hope you don't mind me posting - I have lurked on hered for a while and wanted to say "hello".
I am lucky that I have a decent job, which I hope is safe (but you never know what is round the corner).
My DS (30) and DD (28) still live with me because they just can't afford to live on their own. They both work, but have no hope of being in a position to be able to buy somewhere to live in the area they grew up in, and renting is so expensive too.
DS has no idea of budgeting, and try as I may, he just doesn't get it. I am desperately waiting for his Light bulb moment. DD is much better, and planning to save to try to buy a home (just seemed more important to spend until now!!)
Anyway, hugs to all who need them. And thank you all for being such generous spirits.

Welcome Minihauk

and Hello to all the other lurkers out there

lilac_lady

It's a dull, dreich day here but I'm happy because I have the day to myself. In this busy world we sometimes don't get "alone" time if we want some. I find it difficult to say no, although I'm better at it than I used to be.

I agree that money isn't stretching very far now. I seldom go shopping for "things" - only if I NEED them but I understand that those of you with children will have a much harder time avoiding shopping times as they need (and want) so much.

As a granny I do my best to help out by buying the DGC's shoes or jackets when they need them. I like being able to do that and it helps the families out a bit. Better that than buying them a lot of rubbish, although the children may not agree!

I do indulge them a bit but that's my job as a granny!

To all newcomers - you'll find this forum a lot of help. To the rest of us - we keep plogging onwards.

Kittikins

Hi starsandmoon - what a great mummy/daughter partnership you are My DD is coming along those lines as well, she's 5 1/2 and knows that mummy can't buy everything but we do our best, and she goes to dance/Rainbows/school events. She's got a moneybox that she puts any spare change that we find lying around the place in as she's saving up to go to Di$ney in Florida in a few years' time (many, many years time I think as I lots of draws on my salary).

Keep up the fab work and Hello! to everyone on here, it's a really inspirational thread.

NualaBuala

Welcome Minihauk any other lurkers :wave:

We have a bit of sun struggling to shine through the clouds and I feel a bit like that myself today. Am trying to snap myself out of feeling rubbish. I think feeling so exhausted is making it harder to cope with any stresses that come up. So the plan for today is to have a really good rest and try to keep stress to a minimum.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Primrose

ceridwen wrote: »

We DO have to look round at the times/society we live in and "see which way the wind is blowing" to help with making our own personal financial decisions and too many people don't do that...

It IS annoying/upsetting that things happening round us in the Wider Society can "upset our personal applecart" - but theres no point in shutting our eyes to that. We have to keep those eyes wide open and think "Right - this may happen in Society. That may. That definitely WILL and the knock-on effects on me personally might be/will be......etc" and plan to "duck and dive" accordingly. I guess it boils down to "Get out the virtual surfboard and learn to surf the waves".

Ceridwen - you're so right! This is one reason why we could economise further and cut out the expense of our daily "serious" newspaper, but we won't, because I do make a point of trying to read the financial commentaries from business journalists and economists to try and figure out which way the economic wind is blowing. Some of it may be above my head but it's also possible to figure out, for example, that a journalist reporting on the wiping out of the coffee crop in Brazil from frost, before long is going to mean a huge hike to coffee prices in the supermarket, so it would be sensible to stock up.

My own personal financial motto, apart from the very occasional financial extravagance, has always been to play safe and err on the side of caution. The impact of my OH's first redundancy, completely out of the blue years ago, left an impact on me that has never really gone away, in terms of the lesson learned that even when things seem to be going swimmingly, it's better to prepare for the unexpected.

I know not everybody can afford to put money away for emergencies, but if you're having holidays abroad, regularly buying new cars or expensive household equipment yet have no money in the bank for an unexpected crisis, there has to be something wrong with your financial competence People are perfectly entitled to adopt the mantra of "Live for today", but in these difficult times they will find it increasing hard to find anybody who will be prepared to bail them out when that choice has proved to be an unwise one.

My grandmother had her many little tins for her weekly budgets. She bought up 6 children in the depression during and after the First World War, when her husband couldn't find work for a long time. Even when times got easier for her, those little tins were still carefully maintained every week. Painful lessons are the ones best remembered. It's a pity though, that some people have to go through all the pain before they learn them. Financial budgeting and learning about managing money ought to start appearing on the agenda in primary schools, and carry on into secondary education. It would be a tragedy, after the state this country's finances are in now, for any future generation to grow up and perpetuate the problem because they don't understand that nobody, whether individuals or countries, can spend more than they earn without it eventually ending in tears.

charlies-aunt

seraphina wrote: »

It's not so much failure to budget I think as so much keeping up with the Jones! Or the attitude of well everyone else has one, I'm just like everyone else, surely I shall have one too? People need to start thinking for themselves and not just follow the herd.

I don't hold out much hope though - and I'm sure anyone who's ever read Vanity Fair will agree things don't look like changing!

I'm lucky living in my neck of the woods, its a tiny vllage and most people are in low paid work and thrift is a way of life. You are more likely to proudly brag that your battered old car has got through a MOT again against the odds rather than boasting that you've bought the latest top of the range model....if a car doesn't make it through and is beyond repair, its offered for parts for anyone who wants them so by the time it gets taken to the scrapyard - there isn't a lot left for recycling. Its not Royston Vasey, but anyone who is flash with cash isn't trusted.

...don't keep up with the Jones...drag 'em down to your level. :rotfl:

I have my grandmothers saving tin - its rectangular and has six sections with correspondending slits in the lid - the slits are big and wide so I guess it was really was for saving every last penny...I'm old enough to remember the big, flat coppers and ha'pennies and the chunky threepenny bits!

maryb

I can just about cope with low interest rates on my savings because I never factored big returns into my calculations of the money I would need to accumulate to see me through until all my various pensions kick in, but the fact remains by the time you take inflation and then tax off I'm losing money. And as I am in the age group that will have to wait 2 extra years for a state penion rather than 1 and only 7 years in which to do it, thus depleting my savings, I can't help feeling a bit aggrieved that doing all the right things just set me up as a cash cow to be millked.

And when we had our bad luck in the early 90s when DH was made redundant we didn't benefit from low interest rates then - they shot right up.

I know I'm in a good position now and try not to grumble too much and I'm really so sorry for people who are finding it tough here and now, because I do know what it's like - I was so stressed back then I lost my sense of taste completely for a couple of months and my hands were covered with hundreds of tiny pin point blisters for the better part of a year. But I don't think I would describe it as "fair" exactly because that word to me carries the implication I deserve to be done over in this way

valk_scot

I was talking to one of the other school mums about an upcoming school trip...it's a biology field course long weekend, not expensive because the kids are going to be in dorms in a self catering facility and spend most of their time doing woodcrafts and ecology projects etc. It's only 30 miles away too so we have the option of paying for transport or car pooling, which is much cheaper. Anyway this mum was complaining how expensive it was which surprised me. She always looks smart, both parents work, run two cars and have nice house. Weekend is going to cost me £45 to send my son and that's including three nights full board and petrol money. This is dirt cheap for a school trip, belive me! Then...she agreed the trip itself was cheap, but it was the £200 she'd just spent on new clothes for her daughter for the trip that was the expensive bit. ???????? The centre provides walking boots and full waterproof gear etc, if you don't have them. Nope, the DD had demanded new outfits, as in nice clothes to wear.

I told the mum that in my experience they came home unbelivibly filthy after trips like this and the best thing to do was send them with old, nearly outgrown clothes/a few spares from the charity shop then be prepared to bin the lot when they got back. The mum then said "Well, I don't mind having to bin them but she can't go in rags, can she?" Bin £200 worth of new clothes??? Is she mad? £200 is our Christmas budget for new clothes, for the whole family, and that's only because both kids need new non-school shoes and DS has just gone through another growth spurt. I feel ill at the thought of £200 of once worn clothes in the bin tbh. Yes she was moaning about "the trip" being expensive?

PS. Yes, DS will be going "in rags". Will he care? Not in the slightest. He's not daft about where money comes from and it's not like he doesn't have some nice things to wear the rest of the time.

maryb

DD2 loves River Island and Topshop as much as any other 15 year old but she was perfectly happy for me to buy her a couple of ultra cheap tracksuit bottoms from Primark for a geography field trip (and that was only because she had literally grown out of anything old - growth spurt) She looked perfectly presentable for £10 - because the very cheap clothes look OK till the first wash.

kidcat

When my eldest went away with school one January the trip coordinator recommended charity shops and cheap stuff as he guaranteed it would all be ruined coming back, I ended up buying some cheap tracksuits tops and trousers from Asda and Tesco at £2 each, it got filthy but washed ok, and because i had bought navy and blacks, I was able to use them when her brother went two years later on the same trip. It cost about £20 in total and they both got good use out of the stuff. The only more expensive bits I bought was some thermal long sleeved vests and walking boots, again bought dark and they both got to use them, and DS still uses the stuff now.