Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

ginnyknit

You are a fab lady Annie 56, so positive after all you have been through. Your Dad sounds lovely too, bless him:) Think your ex hubby will get what he deserves from life.

Well Im dreading tomorrows revelations from the PM but will soldier on regardless. Going hunting for breadflour - I don't want to eat cake!

parsonswife8

Go Annie56, go Annie56:j:j:j:j:j

Grasp your new life, my lovey, well done you!:D:D:D:D:D:D

I wish you the very best for the future.:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

I have a good feeling about you and the hunk.:cool::cool::cool::cool:

Annie56

:pAm with you on the above Hippechiq....theres such a sense of whats going to happen, leaks of the proposals in the press, its as if they want us to think the worst and when they do there damndest we will be kind of dumbed down....Im just waiting for whats what... just hope we Brits wont take it lying down.. so Vive la France oops ahem ..:p

Kitcaboodle

Congratulations Annie56 on finishing a not so happy chapter of your life. It sounds like you already have a healthy attitude to it. Here's hoping it's all so much better for you from here on in.

ceridwen

Kitcaboodle wrote: »

Well, to be fair to my sister, his usual (non banking crisis) bonus is at least £30k (how the other half live!) and she was holding out to have him spend the whole of his bonus on a ring. She earns a very good salary (more than twice what DH makes) and her boyfriend earns a lot more as he works for a bank. She was talking the other day about how long it will be till he's earning a million... (I'm guessing she means till he's a millionaire as surely even bankers don't earn a million a year?!!)

DH and I are very much the poor relations but it's quality of life that comes first for us and we are SO much happier that I wouldn't swap places with her for anything! She's destroying her health and looking for all the wrong things in a relationship. I try to help but if I suggest downsizing and doing something that would make her happier she just scoffs because she thinks my life is as crazy as I think hers is! I cross my fingers that she sees the light and finds an easier and happier way of living before she self-destructs.

Ah! I wondered whether he must be earning very good money for her to scoff at him spending £14k on a ring. From the sound of the amount of money he earns - then...I can understand why she wants him to offer more actually. Its NOT necessary - but it WOULD show how much she matters to him IYSWIM...

There was an old rule about how much the engagement ring should cost in proportion to a mans salary - think its 2 months salary????? I think that rule made a lot of sense actually - as its a way to judge how much you mean to the guy. If he offers one that costs a years salary = you mean a LOT to him. If he offers one that costs a weeks salary = give him his marching orders...he is too mean and you dont matter very much to him.

Doesnt mean to say you have to accept whatever he offers - you CAN always say "Thank you very much and I really appreciate you offering to pay a years salary for my ring - but I dont need you to spend that much - one months salary will be fine by me." Its just the fact that he has offered an amount that means a lot to him - in proportion to the salary he earns.

There is some sorta parable in the Bible about the widows mite and Jesus praising the widow for offering just a mite - because, to her, that was a lot of money - so it represented a great deal FOR her to offer. That is what matters.

On this thread - Sammy has just bought a hotwater bottle for an old woman near her and this means a lot because the cost of that hotwater bottle means a lot to HER - because we know how much she has to count the pennies. Hence giving that hotwater bottle cost Sammy a lot and was a very generous gesture for her to make (but thats what shes like - ie a generous person). To some of us we could write out a cheque for £50 and not think about it again. There may be others on this thread who could write out a cheque for hundreds of £s and not think about it again. The thing is - what have we offered IN RELATION TO WHAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE.

As my father would say "Its the motive that counts - not so much the action or amount."

greent

Evening all - have finally caught up

Congratulations o those where it's applicable and hugs to those needing them (and Annie56, your new life is a whirlwind - love it!)

OH has finally agreed to get some anger management counselling - he's needed it for years and years and also suffers from depression (to teh point of suicide attempts) Excuse any typos, but my laptop is missing some keys from his latest angry incident - but at least this time he's taking some real action. We can't continue like this - it's not good for any of s.

Ona more positive note, I sold some children's items at the weekend - £90 Yeay! Also (even better) DS1 passed his grammar school entrance exam :D

I just want tomorrow's announcements over and done with now - then at least we'll know where we are..

Anyway, it's cold here tonight - but at least the heating being on means some clothes are getting dry... Talking of which, I must go and do some ironing

x

ceridwen

flowertotmum wrote: »

On the news now they are reducing the armed forces by 17,000..no new aircraft,no new tanks,no carriers, i might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but doesn't that leave us as an island vulnerable to anyone who wants to waltz in and take over...daft idea but you never know...sorry over the top...just worried...

One thing that strikes me personally - has concerned me for a while - is JUST how vulnerable countries are to cyber-attack. One of the former Soviet states recently came under heavy cyber-attack. Iran's nuclear programme (rightly or wrongly - I wouldnt know....) has recently been cyber-attacked. I do actually believe that Britain (amongst other countries) IS coming under frequent cyber-attack and I think I might have some idea JUST how drastic this could be for us. Personally - speaking VERY personally - I believe there has already been a major level "attack" on at least one major British website as a sort of "trial run". Shuts up very quickly at that point.....:cool:

Therefore - I think we need, as a country, to shift our priorities to take account of the fact that 21st century warfare might well NOT be tanks/men/guns/any other sort of thing we would recognise as "warfare" and I think priorities need to be adjusted accordingly and spending with it. I do tend to agree with shifting from "traditional ships/planes/etc" to putting money towards cyberwarfare. Even a pacifist like myself can see the point of protective action against something like that.

Penelope_Penguin

ceridwen wrote: »

One thing that strikes me personally - has concerned me for a while - is JUST how vulnerable countries are to cyber-attack. One of the former Soviet states recently came under heavy cyber-attack. Iran's nuclear programme (rightly or wrongly - I wouldnt know....) has recently been cyber-attacked. I do actually believe that Britain (amongst other countries) IS coming under frequent cyber-attack and I think I might have some idea JUST how drastic this could be for us. Personally - speaking VERY personally - I believe there has already been a major level "attack" on at least one major British website as a sort of "trial run". Shuts up very quickly at that point.....:cool:

Therefore - I think we need, as a country, to shift our priorities to take account of the fact that 21st century warfare might well NOT be tanks/men/guns/any other sort of thing we would recognise as "warfare" and I think priorities need to be adjusted accordingly and spending with it. I do tend to agree with shifting from "traditional ships/planes/etc" to putting money towards cyberwarfare. Even a pacifist like myself can see the point of protective action against something like that.

Just a gentle reminder - this is Old Style

Thanking you everyone for your co-operation.

I'm quite looking forward to tomorrow, but not because of the budgetary plans

MummyOfTwo

god i cant bear waiting for these announcements. DHs job has *we think* survived the quango business last week... i wouldnt mind a job change myself but as we are looking for a new mortgage (fixed rate nearly over) i dont want to start a new probation period.

please god we get a break soon.

Penelope_Penguin

ceridwen wrote: »

I think that rule made a lot of sense actually - as its a way to judge how much you mean to the guy. If he offers one that costs a years salary = you mean a LOT to him. If he offers one that costs a weeks salary = give him his marching orders...he is too mean and you dont matter very much to him.

My engagement ring cost nothing like a year's salary when DH bought it for me more than 21 years ago. I took that to mean that he was careful with his money, rather than frittering it on mere baubles That we;ve been happily married for over 20 years - draw your own conclusions