Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

littleowl

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

I have written a request to have a different health visitor but she is the one for our surgery. Have spoken to the head of the surgery about her too and the receptionist I know says they have regular complaints about her antics from young mums.
I even spoke to the midwife who covers our surgery and who cared for me through my miscarriage and pregnancy with holly and she had a word with the health visitor and basically said how dare she give me that kind of treatment when the kids are clearly well cared for and loved etc when she is currently caring for a young mum who's pregnant with her fifth child, her house is flea infested, the animals deficate all throughout the house and the pair of them (her and partner) are both alcoholics - yet she has said nothing to them even though the youngest daughter aged 18 months is still under health visitors care.

The mind boggles

Sammy - things must have changed a great deal since my last experience with Health Visitors - more years ago than I care to remember. Then they were at the behest of the mother and took account of what she said and how she was feeling.
Have you had a good conversation with her? Not a confrontational one but one which clearly shows that you are in control of your own family and merely needing her expert advice on the health of the child - that IS what she is there for. Don't be browbeaten - she is supposed to be there to help you not stress you out.

gailey_2

Annie 56 your posts make me smile well done glad things going well for you.
So much to catch up on and no time.
Sorry I been quiet of late just been poorly and hardly contributed to new thread.

Well under achived today as felt poorly and the baby throwing tantrums.
Eldest had her 1st school trip which as exiting.
Dopey me forgot courier was coming to pick up parcel theres me on doorstep at 12 still in my jammies. Luckily ubby was off so he drove me round depot such a scatter brain.
Visited mil shes debating o n leaving house tommorow to go shops hope she does as her hemrmit like behaviour is not doing any good.

Was going to do pie tonight instead doing caserole and will do pie and quiches tommorow.
Hubby run out of time so not done farmfoods today.
He has painted the bedroom and attempted/failed to fix chest of draws.
Hes at dentist hopefully not too pricey.

Im shattered so early nite and hope im up to cooking more tommorow.

Very frustrating as love being busy but cant do as much as I want.
Its half term next week here.

Hubbys had to put back his week off until end of nov.
Still not worked out what the micras costing to run.
still waiting to hear about 2nd interveiw for the job as 1st was 7weeks ago.

I slightly worried by tommorow although dont think much will effect us as dont work in public sector and dont have 16year old, we rent private I guess tax increases will effect us but dont anticipate any changes to income tax or ni.What will be will be out of my control we just deal with what life throws at us.

I was watching defence reveiw and seems many jobs to be lost.
Wondering how many more job losses announced tommorow.

Hoping we dont have stikes like they do in france.

One advantage of renting is heating broke and plumber fixed it yesterday so thats a relief as feel the cold , still need to change energy supplier and do some winter related shopping.

Sammy k hv sounds nitemare mine never calls unannounced if fact rarly see her.
Im not happy with midwife but feel uncomfortable about requesting change like my mate did. seeing her again thur, with 3rd baby I guess its even less appointments.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.will try catch up later.

pagangirl

Jumping ahead 10 pages here just to thank you all for advice, friendship and hugs when needed.

Advice centre are going to sort out appeal for me. Will also have a representative come to tribunal with me (said probably not til next april/may). Have been told I can apply for crisis loan as all money stopped, but have small food stockpile, so will try & manage without.

Hugs to you all - if it wasn't for advice on this & other threads, I would be totally up the creek wivout a paddle :eek:
xx

kidcat

Sammy - someone somewhere will be in a position of authority over your HV - find out who and dish out her own "medicine". Had problem with a HV once - I too had filled in the post natal questionnaire and scored badly - Was having massive difficulties with in laws at time and being moved out of house as LL was selling, not to mention was seriously ill after the birth and the baby never slept. Is it any wonder I answered as though I was depressed?? She kept visiting and managed to choose when house was at its worst - which upset me more, one day she arrived and I burst into tears, she was so shocked she sat me down made me a cup of tea, then listened while I explained that the house was a tip because DD was sick and baby wasnt sleeping etc. Then she laughed and told me she really didnt care about the house, it was obvioulsy clean but messy - and it showed I wasnt obsessing over cleaning as some mothers (she siad she worried for those more ). We chatted about every day stuff then for an hour and she left. It certainly changed how we related after that, she did explain that she didnt tell people she was coming as she didnt want new mothers panicking and cleaning up when they should be resting!! I explained how it felt awful to have someone arrive with no warning and it felt like they were checking up, so she agreed to call and warn people she would be popping in but also not to clean up just for her.

Maybe your HV isnt really a frustrated Hitler and she is just mis understood ( got to be honest cant see it from what you say but you never know) but she needs to understand her actions ae having an adverse affect on parents and that will follow through to affect the little people too.

Had parents evening for DD4 today - they describe her as lively, enthusiastic, chatty and all round top marks. They forgot to mention that they are using her to help the lesser achieving kids settle and work!! Or that she is currently the only way they have of controlling the autistic boy in her class as he has no extra help at all!!

Will petrol be rising tomorrow or is it just spending cuts announced??

HariboJunkie

Haven't been on for a couple of days as my house is still up side down and we only solved the pipe problem late last night.
Water is back on but all windows are open due to paint fumes which means we are ffffrrrrrreeeeezing.
The gritters were out in force from early afternoon here so it looks like a cold night in store.
Off to put on another fleece and heat up some soup.

ceridwen

Primrose wrote: »

annie56 - good luck for today. Oh don't we all wish we could have been little flies on the wall when your ex's floosie heard that answerphone message :rotfl:

I can certainly understand why you couldnt resist the temptation to do that - the thought would have crossed my mind as well.

I do feel a bit nervous on your behalf annie as to whether the "financial stuff" has been sorted out before you "threw a timebomb" like that at him.....Maybe thats just me being a bit cautious. I've been telling myself "There may not be much money there anyway from what Annie says about ex OH and his gambling/etc ways - so it may not matter a jot that floozie will tell him about the phonecall. There may not be any finances there for him to blow up about and start trying to hold onto them...".

Sorrees...dinnae want to depress you Annie. You're obviously a gutsy, pragmatic sorta lady and I'm guessing you wouldnt have done that if you'd thought "upsetting the applecart" was going to drive ex OH angry enough that he would start getting awkward about division of financial assets. So - I assume/hope that you've got that side of things all "tied up" now??? (fingers crossed for you that thats finalised).

Anyway - hope Divorce Day went well and I trust you are celebrating being Well Rid:D

lambanana

I agree mould is a very serious issue but absolutely nothing to do with social services and entirely to do with your current landlord/council housing office who should be fixing it!

ceridwen

Kitcaboodle wrote: »

At one point my sister was holding off on getting engaged to her boyfriend because he 'only' wanted to spend £14k on a ring!!! They are still together (amazingly) and still not engaged for other reasons but still, I can't imagine telling DH that I wanted him to spend more on a ring. In fact, he gave me a cheap placeholder ring (his words) when he proposed and I told him not to bother getting a proper ring as I'd just be wearing my wedding ring after we married anyway and I'd rather we put the money towards our future together!

Personally I believe it should be about the marriage rather than the wedding. If the wedding is the thing that matters most then the marriage is probably doomed!

Cor..."flippin ridikulous" to think of spending £14k on a ring. It DOES DEPEND a bit on how much money you know they have and you compare that to what they're "offering". I've had boyfriends where I would have thought "mean so-and-so" if that is what they were offering - IN COMPARISON TO HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAD.

BUT - in actual fact - as long as I'd had what amounted to a "generous offer" in relation to the amount of money they had (so I knew I meant a lot to them for them to have offered that much...:)) - I would then have dragged them along to a shop I know locally where I would have got a ring I would have liked the style of and been perfectly happy with for (I would estimate) somewhere between £200 - £500 and that would have done me nicely....Nice pretty ring and visible sign of commitment...sorted:D

...and...yes...weddings ARE definitely about the marriage. Fully agree to that:T. A wedding is just one day...marriage is for anything up to 70 years....(all being well...:D). I would certainly be taking the view that "marriage is for the long haul" if at all possible...so what is one day in the Grand Scheme of Things?...

catznine

14K for an engagement ring!:eek: Mine cost £30 with a free set of teaspoons!!!!:rotfl:Guess I have always been money saving old style! My dress was hired, only way I could afford what I wanted and what is the point of an expensive dress, that you would probably never wear again, taking up room in the cupboard? I fell in love with the man not the wedding! lol Mind you dd's cost a lot more but at least we got a money off voucher online for a 25% discount! Hopefully she can sell it on again afterwards.

The cuts are worrying, saw the tv coverage after the news about the closure of Raf Kinloss - that poor landlord was in tears as he knew his business was all but over and many others in the town as well. Do wish the journalists would back off though, like vultures they were! Praying tomorrows news won't be too bad but it does feel that the government are taking a sledgehammer to their problems and why have they not yet taxed the bankers? Instead they are taking money from vulnerable folk! :mad: makes me so mad. We brits are taking it on the chin so far though, unlike the french it would seem.

We had bottom of the fridge veg (carrots, peppers, courgettes and onions) roast in the remoska tonight with salmon and prawn in foil parcels cooked over the top of them, so fuel saving and very nice. Tomorrow will be vege soya mince bolognaise and pasta - very cheap meal. Have put in an order to bb foods for baked beans, stir fry sauce and various cake/bread mixes - very cheap, also ordered from AF a parcel for my sister as I do worry about her. She loves the surprise element - like Christmas.

Off to get some more knitting on dd's scarf done and watch a borrowed dvd.

Chin up friends! We will get through this! (((hugs)))

hermum

Sammy, sorry to hear about your problems with your HV.
Have you spoken to the council about the damp problems, when are they due to undertake work under the decent homes standard?
From the little that I've read about you on here you certainly sound like a sensible girl, and a very good Mum. The ages for weaning babies seems to change all the time, when my daughter was a baby it was 3-4 months. My daughter wouldn't have a spoon in her mouth, I breastfed her on demand until she was 6 months without any solids. She was happy, contented, active etc. You know what's best for your own baby, if she's hungry she obviously needs more than milk.
For your dog's itchy skin problems, have you heard about http://www.aromesse.com/, I heard about it on the pet thread & got stuff for my westie, who's a rescue dog. The stuff is brilliant.
Have you also thought about writing a letter to your HV, explaining how she's making you feel? She may have no idea that her heavy handedness is upsetting you.
Now I'm doing the same as the HV, some of us are just bossy. Sorry.