Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

sammy_kaye18

JOJOB ---- I've no idea what to do. I weaned Ben at 14 weeks and have started holly on little bits. My health visitor came over today unannounced and caught me feeding babe so was busted but I told her she's on thicker milk, wakes every two hours in the night and takes 4/5ounces every hour practically. Even she said she doesn't know what else we are meant to do. She said Holly is bright as a button though and looks to be gaining weight nicely, seems a happy little baby and is full of smiles.

She drives me nuts though because she just turns up unannounced every time and we have had bad experiences with her in the past.

RANT ALERT!

First time she had visited when Holly was 2 weeks old she reported me to the RSPCA! :eek: because my dog suffers with chronic licking so his front legs had scars on them. Queue them investigating my vet records - which were all up to date - and she was politely told by the Vet he's been on every pill going to help ease his stress as he's a very anxious rescue dog but we thought it was cruel to force pills in him all the time, is seen every few months for his worming tablets and she credited me by saying from the state he was when we first re-homed him he is now in perfect condition and a loving home after the neglected he suffered from his last owners. Put her in her place quite nicely.

She did mention social services on her first visit too :eek::eek::eek::eek: too because our flat is a shoddy built council flat and is mould infested so she was worrying about it with us with a newborn -- she did reiterate that she has no concern about kids at all though but figured they would be able to help out with getting us rehoused and contacting environmental health. needless to say Owen was not amused when I told him!!! and even less amused when they turned up the next day! :eek::eek: Needless to say they closed the case straight away with no concerns in the slightest, were rather irate at the fact they'd even been called and said that the health visitor was the worse one they had encountered as they were regularly called out to this area for no reason other than she seems to be on her high horse.I didn't sleep for about 3 days afterwards - completely blitzed the flat from end to end, top to bottom, everything was cleared out/cleaned/binned etc and in the end Owen contacted doctor as he thought I had some sort of post natal depression or was turning into an insomniac and was worried that I wouldn't be able to look after Holly properly on no sleep thanks to the health visitors antics. Needless to say I have heard other horror stories about her though from other mums. She seems to pick on, scare and intimidate the good mums for minor things but the bad mums around she says bu@@er all to.

Felt bloody awful this morning thought because I came home from the school run and was so exhausted after 13 weeks of night feeds by myself and 6am wake ups with Ben that I went back to bed for two hours (literally exactly two hours), so no housework was done, no dishes and it looked like a bomb site - Owen did nothing and just played on the computer so I got up at 11.45 and was mortified when she walked in at 12pm with the state of the place. Like mother in law said though it wasn't even untidy - just clothes to put away, toys scattered about the place, hallway needed mopping, living could of done with a sweep but wasn't too bad and holly's play mat on the rug as I'd just put her in her chair to feed her. I am normally a neat freak and everything is cleaned and put away before the school run but I was so tired today I just couldn't be @rsed. Will teach me to go back to bed, will try and nap on sofa in future when babe naps.

So I have been cleaning all day now. Have to see her tomorrow too for Holly's Jabs and weighing. Dread it - think the only reason she didn't say anything was because Owen was here and he gave her a few choice words after the RSPCA incident. She apparently just wanted to check in with me after I filled in the depression questionnaire and told her I was having issues answering an anxiety question as I suffer from panic attacks anyway since I was 15. So god only knows what she'll say tomorrow.

RANT OVER

God I needed to get that off my chest - have had that bottled up for about 2 months now by myself and was too ashamed to tell anyone even though I knew I was never in the wrong with anything. they never did contact environmental health for us either and health visitor said she'd write us a letter about flats shoddy conditions and she never did.

Needless to say house is now immaculately spotless I have even been through the airing cupboard. Ben is off to his friends for tea after school tomorrow and holly has jabs between 2 - 3.30pm. I hate them.
Did manage to find my safety pins so will be heat proofing and lining curtains tomorrow. Also dogs IAMS, his new Halti and treats are getting delivered tomorrow too from my competition winnings so he'll be a happy little chappy.

Going to chill now and de stress after bloody health visitor - she boils my blood. Need to chill. Sorry for ranting but I really cant stand the woman. May go and watch Jamie Oliver Food Revolution and attempt to chill.

JoJoB

Love all these MSE weddings - they are always so much more fun i think. When OH and I got married we were 19 year olds on the dole living in a dreary bedsit in London (just before going to Uni etc). How we managed it and why I don't know but decided to get married. All my relatives came from up north on a coach and all his family came from Essex.

We had the reception in our bedsit . God knows how we all fitted in there. OH's mother supplied the buffet from "leftovers" at work (though I suspect most was actually stolen since the "leftovers" included a whole salmon :eek:). Someone else supplied all the booze from work (again, too much of a bargain not to be suspicious looking back on it). My father-in-law and musician friends brought their guitars and were fantastic entertainment. And my wedding dress was a £20 quid number from Dorothy Perkins.

People still tell me it's the best wedding they ever went to - though probably they are just being kind. I do look back and wonder what I was thinking of! But married 20 years next year so obviously did something right.

icelandic_queen

I too am worried sick about the cut in CB and the increase in Uni fees. My eldest DD is 15, she's 16 in April and eats as though she's a big man out doing a day's work! At the moment I am paying my own mortgage using the CB as I'm not elegible for help yet. I know CB is for the benefit of the child, but the way I think of it, a roof over her head comes into that category!! I have saved my CB in the past and put it in their savings account but I'll have to rethink that. Thank God for this forum, I'm not overstating things when I say it's been my lifeline!

littleowl

Sammy - do you have to put up with this woman? If she is known as being difficult can you request a different Health Visitor? Seems she is causing you more stress than the children!

lambanana

Sammy your health visitor sounds like a nightmare, I always seem to hear bad things about them. It's not fair to put so much stress on new mums, as if it isn't a difficult enough time without turning up unannounced and then frightening you with talk of social services/RSPCA/environmental health. It's not on.

JoJoB

Sammy, that's awful - you have enough on your plate not to be worrying about snooty health visitors. I'm with littleowl on the requesting a new one!

Though if you are after getting rehoused in something a bit nicer it is worth getting a health visitor to write to your local housing officer voicing concerns about the suitability of the housing for your newborn. Her getting onto social services was just rubbish - ss cannot get you rehoused and the housing dept will not give a stuff what ss say to them.

What will get you further up the housing list, or in a higher band if you are in a choice-based bidding system, is information from health visitors/environmental health/doctors detailing any health or welfare concerns they have relating to your current housing. So anything about damp or other potentially dangerous living conditions, plus how it may be affecting you mentally and emotionally (depression etc). But the main thing is how it is affecting the children, this will go a long way to getting you further up the list/higher banding etc.

Really lay it on thick and get doctor.environmental health/helath visitor and local councillor to write letters for your housing file (if getting moved is what you want). The health visitor was half right, but obviously has no idea how to really go about it and clearly does not realise the upset she is causing by getting social services to pay a visit!

I'm shocked she just turned up out of the blue without an appointment. The cheek!

sammy_kaye18

littleowl wrote: »

Sammy - do you have to put up with this woman? If she is known as being difficult can you request a different Health Visitor? Seems she is causing you more stress than the children!

I have written a request to have a different health visitor but she is the one for our surgery. Have spoken to the head of the surgery about her too and the receptionist I know says they have regular complaints about her antics from young mums.
I even spoke to the midwife who covers our surgery and who cared for me through my miscarriage and pregnancy with holly and she had a word with the health visitor and basically said how dare she give me that kind of treatment when the kids are clearly well cared for and loved etc when she is currently caring for a young mum who's pregnant with her fifth child, her house is flea infested, the animals deficate all throughout the house and the pair of them (her and partner) are both alcoholics - yet she has said nothing to them even though the youngest daughter aged 18 months is still under health visitors care.

The mind boggles

BitterAndTwisted

I dunno, it sounds like the Health Visitor was trying to help Sammy-Kaye rather than terrorise the life out ofher. Perhaps something was lost in the translation. Mould growing on the walls indoors is a very serious health-hazard rather than a mere inconvenience. I share the Health Visitor's concern for S-K and her little ones.

LannyLee

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

I have written a request to have a different health visitor but she is the one for our surgery. Have spoken to the head of the surgery about her too and the receptionist I know says they have regular complaints about her antics from young mums.
I even spoke to the midwife who covers our surgery and who cared for me through my miscarriage and pregnancy with holly and she had a word with the health visitor and basically said how dare she give me that kind of treatment when the kids are clearly well cared for and loved etc when she is currently caring for a young mum who's pregnant with her fifth child, her house is flea infested, the animals deficate all throughout the house and the pair of them (her and partner) are both alcoholics - yet she has said nothing to them even though the youngest daughter aged 18 months is still under health visitors care.

The mind boggles

Sounds like a classic bully to me, picks on the ones she thinks/knows won't kick up a fuss :mad:

LannyLee

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I dunno, it sounds like the Health Visitor was trying to help Sammy-Kaye rather than terrorise the life out ofher. Perhaps something was lost in the translation. Mould growing on the walls indoors is a very serious health-hazard rather than a mere inconvenience. I share the Health Visitor's concern for S-K and her little ones.

I agree it is serious, but surely help could have been given in a more constructive/helpful way?