The Memorygirl Matrix

butafli

Sending positive thoughts to both psychopathbabble and gemmzie - I am sure you will both have the answers and inspiration you need.

Bx

butafli

Michelle just wanted to say that the blanket is beautiful and you should definitely go for it.

Bx

redsquirrel80

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Some positive thoughts please.... I have my OU exam today and just want enough to pass. Don't feel confident at all!

Thinking of you Psychopathbabble and Gemmzie

Daff.. mmm chocolate

Positive_Attitude

Positive vibes to gemmzie too

PAxx

Memory_Girl

Came back from school (ds2 stayed on a while this morning to meet the new kindy teacher) - and the universe had left little bags of abundance on my doorstep.

The first was three crowns of rhubarb from a farmer friend of mine - one is in the garden now and the other two in the car to be taken to the school - looking forward to all sorts of rhubarby things next year.

The second was 5 football tops in a carrier bag - so even before I started on my day and choosing how to spend my fifteen minutes on finding Kits for Kids I had a success :j. No note or anything, so hopefully our mysterious benefactor will make themselves known in due course.

The third - a bag of windfalls that are just screamng to be made into an apple pie (from my neighbours)

I've been thinking back at how far different my life is from that day -almost a year ago when the bank froze my accounts.

• My boys were always taken care of - but I didn't take care of me, I didn't believe that I deserved any happiness because somehow I had "Allowed" the bank to take my boys financial future.
• I realise now that by overcoming the crippling inertia, the feeling of being completely helpless and stuck was a huge mountain to begin to climb. I remember clearly the days when I would just stare at the ironing pile slowly growing because I couldn't be bothered to walk the eight steps to the cupboard and bring out the ironing board.
• I remember the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach going around LIDL with my list and calculator and praying that I'd done the addition right, because any slip up meant there wasn't enough money to put petrol in the car to get DS1 to school. Gifts - like Clooties eggs were a nutritional godsend some weeks:D

Like a huge ocean liner it took ages to turn myself around - but day be day, and penny by penny systematically build a stock-cupboard, build a float of money in my account and started to move in the right direction again.

I now feel like the ocean liner is begging to chug towards the sun again and that one day soon I will be sprinting over the waves - only this time I won't be alone, theres a whole flotilla of ships bigger and smaller sailing with me too.

I'm not any richer - I still begin and end the week within pennies of my float amount, but I have in my heart a compelling belief that if I can help emough people get what they desire, then I too will get wha I desire. I have in my heart true abundance now - and I don't think I have ever felt that before.

And you guys challenging me to make £400K under Mr Bigs mentorship - nearly made me run and hide under a stone, because it is exactly the sum of money lost when the bank shut us down.

But a year on I am within sniffing distance of being signed off benefits and taking the plunge back into the periolous world of being self-employed in the middle of a recession.:eek:

But a year ago I never even would have been thinking about doing just that - and now I am, and now I have days when I absolutely believe I am on the right track to creating a better life for my family - and setting a better example for my boys.

So deep breath MG - jump in with both feet and believe that you can reach out to train 1000 people in the next year.

Off to blow bubbles in the garden with ds2 and calm down a little:rotfl:

Memorygirl

Midnight

MG that is a lovely post and very inspiring. I have been all over the place the last few years too financially and in many other ways, but at last feel like I am getting back on track. This thread is a great motivator to keep that momentum in my life going.

All success to you, looking at what you have achieved in the past, I have no doubt that you will make it :T:T

Ellidee

:j Fab Memory Girl - just reading your posts puts a smile on my face and makes me feel so much more optimistic and postive - THANK YOU :kisses3:

ClootiesMum

Lovely post MG - reminds me of the old days as well. And God bless the ladies....:D

Cheery_Daff

How inspiring MG :T And how far you've come mentally! :T Hooray for little bags of abundance :j :j And I love the thing about the ocean liner - soooo difficult to turn round, but not at all impossible, and once going in the right direction can chug along at a tremendous speed! :j :j

Helen105

I feel like an ocean liner as well and when I get impatient with all the things in my life that aren't right yet I do have to remind myself of how much progress I've made already and how long it can take to change things. Also as I start getting things sorted I'm finding all sorts of stuff easier to tackle.
I think that when things were really bad I could only cope by going into denial and ignoring a lot of stuff, now that things are getting straighter, some of the stuff that seemed unfaceable difficult before has shrunk to being just a nuisance.