The Memorygirl Matrix

lisawaters

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

I just wanted to come on and say how truly amazing this thread is - I've never experienced anything like it :j.

Yesterday we had women supporting women who have "lost" their mothers to strokes and Alzheimer's. Today we have women supporting other women who never really had mothers in the first place due to dysfunction, mental illness and addiction.

I love this co-operative way of hollistic support through sharing openly.

Where are all the men - come on in and play; it works. Yoohoo Mike Cooee:hello:

Goes off humming - Sisters are doin' it for themselves...

There are different ways of looking at this, but I think it is very obvious that you gals have found something good here, which isn't going to be better by having men around.

It's a privilege to be allowed to listen in and share what's going on. Women say men don't talk about anything 'important' and that is mostly true, although some do. Maybe women are reticent about sharing things too sometimes. I hear lots of walls crashing down here every day.

For me, this as an opportunity to learn about people, and I'm flattered that you are willing to allow me watch your journey.

x

MatyMoo

lisawaters wrote: »

There are different ways of looking at this, but I think it is very obvious that you gals have found something good here, which isn't going to be better by having men around.

It's a privilege to be allowed to listen in and share what's going on. Women say men don't talk about anything 'important' and that is mostly true, although some do. Maybe women are reticent about sharing things too sometimes. I hear lots of walls crashing down here every day.

For me, this as an opportunity to learn about people, and I'm flattered that you are willing to allow me watch your journey.

x

You have a great way of looking at life Mike & a unique perspective, why wouldn't we want you around?????

dirtyepic

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Popped my little spider in bed - and then answered the phone to a very dear ex of mine telling me that one of our mates, actor Gerard Kelly died today of an anyurism.

He was only a few years older than me, the life of the party and a fitting carrier of the baton left by our dear old panto dames, Rikki Fulton and Walter Carr.

So sad - so sad.

I think an evening of wine and old cast phoographs may be on the cards instead.

Have a lovely evening

Memorygirl

Hi MG

I am so sorry to hear the sad news of the passing away of your old friend.

The comments recently of close family members recovering from strokes has been close to my heart over the past few days and now the mention of your friend suffering an aneurysm. Both of these conditions have affected my family and my life in a great capacity and one day I will probably mention it again but not just yet.

I hope all can find peace and think of the good memories they have. I do. I always will.

Take care all,

T
x

dirtyepic

MatyMoo wrote: »

It is also the 2nd anyurism I have heard of this week in someone young :mad:

Hi MatyMoo

I always notice this happening, due to this condition (cerebral aneurysm) being very close to my heart (not quite that literally). There seems to be a period where it's mentioned more than once, either in the news or people closer to home.

I have had some news today and also hearing about Gerard Kelly - more proof!

It's really weird - just hoping that that's it for a while.


Also mentioning ridding your life of toxic family members. Unfortunately my youngest sister has walked out of my life since 15th May this year, through my objection to her constantly unreasonable outbursts, attitude and behaviour but she has also decided that I am no longer fit to be an aunty to her 7 year old twins. Just because we no longer see eye to eye (actually we have fought all of our lives - me being the more sensible, level headed and reasonable party and her being all of the reasons above). I have kept all of the really bitter and nasty texts and emails that she sent me saying the twins now only have one aunty - my other sister and she wanted me to have nothing more to do with them. So we (my husband and I) have not seen them since May, we weren't allowed to contact them for their birthdays in June but one of them sneakily called me on my birthday in July to wish me Happy Birthday. I absolutely crumbled inside.

Just writing about this is making my stomach turn over and makes me wonder about what she has told them about me and why she has stopped them from seeing me.

She has no friends due to her attitudes and fowl mouth and bitter tongue and I used to invite her out with all of my friends but she spoilt it for herself and everyone else and to tell you the truth, my pals all think she has 'a screw loose' to put it politely )from someone who is seeing a counsellor once a week so sort my own head out!!

Its awful but my life is currently much better without her being part of it. I miss the kids loads but not her.

Anyway, things will always come out in the wash and one day the kids will realise they can make their own minds up and contact me again. The universe will decide when everyone is ready for it.

Well good night all, looking forward to a whole weekend of reading loads of great positiveness on both forums.

Here's to a great weekend for all.

T
x

MatyMoo

dirtyepic wrote: »

Hi MatyMoo

I always notice this happening, due to this condition (cerebral aneurysm) being very close to my heart (not quite that literally). There seems to be a period where it's mentioned more than once, either in the news or people closer to home.

I have had some news today and also hearing about Gerard Kelly - more proof!

It's really weird - just hoping that that's it for a while.


Also mentioning ridding your life of toxic family members. Unfortunately my youngest sister has walked out of my life since 15th May this year, through my objection to her constantly unreasonable outbursts, attitude and behaviour but she has also decided that I am no longer fit to be an aunty to her 7 year old twins. Just because we no longer see eye to eye (actually we have fought all of our lives - me being the more sensible, level headed and reasonable party and her being all of the reasons above). I have kept all of the really bitter and nasty texts and emails that she sent me saying the twins now only have one aunty - my other sister and she wanted me to have nothing more to do with them. So we (my husband and I) have not seen them since May, we weren't allowed to contact them for their birthdays in June but one of them sneakily called me on my birthday in July to wish me Happy Birthday. I absolutely crumbled inside.

Just writing about this is making my stomach turn over and makes me wonder about what she has told them about me and why she has stopped them from seeing me.

She has no friends due to her attitudes and fowl mouth and bitter tongue and I used to invite her out with all of my friends but she spoilt it for herself and everyone else and to tell you the truth, my pals all think she has 'a screw loose' to put it politely )from someone who is seeing a counsellor once a week so sort my own head out!!

Its awful but my life is currently much better without her being part of it. I miss the kids loads but not her.

Anyway, things will always come out in the wash and one day the kids will realise they can make their own minds up and contact me again. The universe will decide when everyone is ready for it.

Well good night all, looking forward to a whole weekend of reading loads of great positiveness on both forums.

Here's to a great weekend for all.

T
x

I think once you know about something/someone/somewhere with a personal connection it gets mentioned all the time. I had never herd of Kuwait until my sister went to live there in the 70's and since then it seemed to pop up all the time - Oil, Gulf War etc.

It sounds as though your separation from your sister is still very raw , I know that it must be difficult not to see the little ones too but great that one of them found a way to contact you on your birthday

Sorry if the things we have been talking about over the last few days have been difficult for you..... The danger of talking about these sort of issues on a forum is that it is not the right time for everyone but at least you know there will be support around here if/when you need it.

scottishlass

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Goodness this has moved on fast today!



Right then - 50 day challenge

1) Ask the Universe for a copy of The Secret
needed.[/I]


Well, it's there in Black & white, so I can't bottle it, can I!!

if you would be happy with an ebook then I might be able to help

groatie_queen

Here's another who knows what it was like to feel like the family dustbin!

Briefly.... sadistic mother, weak father, fabulous siblings but we were all divided by living with an unpredictable, bullying person who delighted in making her children feel small, frightened and humiliated. Not just as children but always. She was withering sober, but much worse when fuelled by alcohol.

As the youngest, and having a disability which was an embarrassment to both parents, I was often the focus for her scorn and rage. As a result I had a very negative self image, and it wasn't until I was in my 40's that I was able to deal with the deep shame and anguish I felt for being seen as a liability because of my "imperfection".

Salvation came in the form of boarding school from the age of seven. Not ideal, but returning to school was always such a huge relief, with the knowledge that I was more free to be me, and among mostly benevolent adults.

I absolutely support everyone's choice to manage toxic family/friends in the way best for yourself. My sister was unable to maintain contact with any of us for many years, until both parents had died, and I understand why. Nowadays I have contact with all of my siblings, and the love of my siblings is very valuable to me. It has taken me a very long time to accept that they value me... it has taken me an equally long time, a divorce and a lot of work to start to value myself. This is a work in progress, and is my daily practice, I still have to work at it.

Dirtyepic, it is such a good sign (and how sweet was that) that one of the twins managed to contact you on your birthday, so you can reckon this twin and most likely both, know their mother for what she is and love you truly. I remember at that age being determined that I would never treat people the way my mother did, and I knew she was out of order and out of control.

So in terms of the twins' emotional survival, that streak of resourcefulness, defiance and need for connection is very healthy and will stand them in good stead. Can quite understand why you were in bits, but what a positive sign!

Hugs to you,

Groatie xox

Memory_Girl

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

MG - made the same-ish post; great minds think alike

Does your book contain speed-reading / writing advice????

I am very slow at both - you seem so speedy and this is definitely an area I could benefit from.

:rotfl::rotfl: and yes to both questions -in fact I am looking into getting some voice recognition software so that what I can do is mind-map my new bok and "speak" it onto the computer.

How quickly do you think I could create then ................


.................... its so exciting


MG

Memory_Girl

Craftyscholar wrote: »

So sorry MG - it was a real shock when I saw the news tonight. So young.

(Good to see Walter Carr's name being remembered.)

Oh he (and Rikki Fulton) are remembered often and quoted frequently in the house.

Wallie used to let rooms to "poor theatricals" when I was at Perth Rep - saved my sanity many a time with his anecdotes and wicked sense of comedy timing.

Memorygirl

gilligansyle

Memory_Girl wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: and yes to both questions -in fact I am looking into getting some voice recognition software so that what I can do is mind-map my new bok and "speak" it onto the computer.

How quickly do you think I could create then ................


.................... its so exciting


MG

Many many years ago, one of the best teachers I have ever had taught us to speed read. She said it was one of the most useful things she could teach us.

MG have you seen this

I have asked DS for it for chrimbo, as my new job - starting Monday, will involve all sorts of Six Sigma stuff and will need to have brainstorming meetings etc. You can get software to go with it that transcribes your handwriting too.