The Memorygirl Matrix

robsmum_2

On a different note: Thank you Universe! I have just been and harvested my little veg plot and have 20lb of carrotts and the remaining 4lb of beetroot. All grown from free seeds:j I am so thrilled and excited. One of my staements I'd scribbled down in my reading of The Secret was " I love to grow and create foody things. I want to be as self sufficient as possible.":j

Tescodealqueen

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Thanks for the tips on public speaking - it's part of a bigger confidence problem with me.. a few of you have mentioned how you take criticism. Just now I've had an email from a (very) senior colleague pointing out that part of an email I sent him didn't quite make sense. It was a fair point, but put in a rather sarcastic way, and I just feel useless now. I have this horrible perfectionist thing so if I get something wrong, and someone points it out, I beat myself up about it - I will probably be thinking about it in the middle of the night!

I have a tendency to do this although I have read about someone, can't remember who, who teaches something called SUMO. Basically when something happens or is said that bothers you, you have to think about how important this will be in say six months time. If it won't be, than Shut Up and Move On. It has changed the way I deal with minor irritations.

Hope that this might help, Redsquirrel

clairewop

oh well done Robsmum

Ds2 started growing veg in the summer we had a few onions that was it, he was so disapointed

OliveOyl_2

Tescodealqueen wrote: »

I have a tendency to do this although I have read about someone, can't remember who, who teaches something called SUMO. Basically when something happens or is said that bothers you, you have to think about how important this will be in say six months time. If it won't be, than Shut Up and Move On. It has changed the way I deal with minor irritations.

Hope that this might help, Redsquirrel

The THANKS button is inadequate for me.:A
Thank-you so much, I was identifying totally with Redsquirrel

se999

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Thanks for the tips on public speaking - it's part of a bigger confidence problem with me.. a few of you have mentioned how you take criticism. Just now I've had an email from a (very) senior colleague pointing out that part of an email I sent him didn't quite make sense. It was a fair point, but put in a rather sarcastic way, and I just feel useless now. I have this horrible perfectionist thing so if I get something wrong, and someone points it out, I beat myself up about it - I will probably be thinking about it in the middle of the night!

Emails are notorious for people brain dumping and pressing send without proof reading etc first. At least with forums like mse if you make a mistake or write something ambiguous you can edit, but with emails you can't. So maybe they didn't mean it the way it came accross, quick emails aren't noted for being diplomatic.

If the person is always that way with people, maybe it's them who've got the problem.

I do like TDQ's idea of SUMO

redsquirrel80

Tescodealqueen wrote: »

I have a tendency to do this although I have read about someone, can't remember who, who teaches something called SUMO. Basically when something happens or is said that bothers you, you have to think about how important this will be in say six months time. If it won't be, than Shut Up and Move On. It has changed the way I deal with minor irritations.

Hope that this might help, Redsquirrel

I like that a lot!

Although I then start thinking - I'm still trying to establish myself in this job, so it matters what people think of me.. *deep breath*

EssexHebridean

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Thanks for the tips on public speaking - it's part of a bigger confidence problem with me.. a few of you have mentioned how you take criticism. Just now I've had an email from a (very) senior colleague pointing out that part of an email I sent him didn't quite make sense. It was a fair point, but put in a rather sarcastic way, and I just feel useless now. I have this horrible perfectionist thing so if I get something wrong, and someone points it out, I beat myself up about it - I will probably be thinking about it in the middle of the night!

Yes, hands up here identifying with that too Squizz.

Regarding the sarcastic email, he almost certainly knows he was being sarcastic, and is feeling smug about it. Why not drop him a one liner back simply saying "You are quite correct, thank you for pointing this out" - then hold onto your paperwork as the wind rushes out of his sails.....! Later down the line someone else will benefit as he holds back from being sarky again in case he gets a similar response.

Claire - sorry to hear about your arm - just take it easy. Sorry also about your DH's pay - thank goodness you were able to shift from elsewhere to cover the payments out.

Altzheimers is truly a horrible disease. Daff - I identify with Mr Daff's fears too - we lost my Nan to it and it haunts me that I could go the same way. I've always had an atrocious memory but these days when I forget something obvious or that I should know I find myself thinking "oh no!". We used to find that with Nan talking about things a long way back in the past helped, as these areas of her memory appeared to still be quite clear. I think those who have said that the only way of dealing with it is to separate out the person who you used to know from the person they have become. Sometimes though you can cross over - example: When I was little, a favourite day out for Nan and I was to go to London Zoo. We used to go in the winter as Nan always said you saw more as it was quieter, and the animals were more active. When she was getting quite bad with the dementia, I took her for a day out to the zoo as a christmas present - although it was almost a role-reversal, she had an almost 100% lucid day, and Mum commented afterwards that she semed much better and more "with it" for several days afterwards. I'm very proud of that as it wasn't an easy thing to do - I found dealing with her when she was "missing" incredibly hard.

redsquirrel80

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Yes, hands up here identifying with that too.

Regarding the sarcastic email, he almost certainly knows he was being sarcastic, and is feeling smug about it. Why not drop him a one liner back simply saying "You are quite correct, thank you for pointing this out" - then hold onto your paperwork as the wind rushes out of his sails.....! Later down the line someone else will benefit as he holds back from being sarky again in case he gets a similar response.

Lol - I did actually reply something along those lines. I think he is one of those (fairly common) species round here, an academic who likes to demonstrate his superiority over the "office staff".

Anyway, I shall SUMO!

EssexHebridean

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Lol - I did actually reply something along those lines. I think he is one of those (fairly common) species round here, an academic who likes to demonstrate his superiority over the "office staff".

Anyway, I shall SUMO!

Good for you! :T

vandanfc

Not that I am coming to Leeds. but my only comment would be that it appears a trek from the M62. Where are most people coming from? How are they travelling, if by public transport, how accessible is it?

What sort of price are you looking to pay ?

Memory_Girl wrote: »

For the meet on the 13th - how does this suit? Just along from Headingley?

BTCV Hollybush ?

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/map.srf?x=425904&y=435543&z=0&sv=LS53BP&st=2&pc=LS5+3BP&mapp=map.srf&searchp=ids.srf


West Leeds if that helps? Unless someone has a suggestion for someplace more central?

MG