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Father going for full custody?
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If you don't live close to each other how is shared custody going to work when the 2 year old goes to school at age 4? Just wondering. I know shared custody works well for some couples and there's a girl in my street who gets picked up from school on friday by her gandparents and dropped back off at school on monday morning, but in the long term I would be thinking that 2 nights a week is better.52% tight0
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mumof1and1ontheway wrote: ». It would be nice if I could get it all in writing though. So he has to pick up and drop off at specified times. As usually I will get a text a few hours early telling me he is on his way. So if I am out I end up rushing home etc.
STop it.
Text him: We need to agree what hours you will pick up DS1 one (days).
Can I suggest x to y hours? make these a bit later and earlier than you want as he will inevitably want to change them.
When he comes back with an alternative, does this allow you to get he child up and to get him to bed at the end of the day. If so, OK, other wise argue.
Than keep him to the times.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
I agree. You need to agree definite times and days and make sure he sticks to them. If you can't do this between you amicably, then get the solicitor to write ti him.
Take control and stop letting him pull your strings.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you owe it to your children to get a grip of this situation and not let him turn you into a nervous wreck.
Just a thought, could you go and spend some time with your mum, or could she come to you for a bit, so you can get some support and have a bit of a break?I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
mumof1and1ontheway wrote: »no he def isnt helping lol. i have phoned my solicitor and left a message on his voicemail. i spoke to him last week and he said he doesnt know much on custody etc.. but he is dealing with my divorce. so i am going to ask him if any of the other solicitors in his company can and if i would be covered by the legal aid from the divorce for some advice from them.
This is the reason you need to get a good family law solicitor.
I would go even further and suggest you don't communicate by text at all. Write to him, and ask for his response in writing when you organise contact.
That way you have a record of your reasonableness.
I had to change my mobile number as my ex was doing this sort of thing. It's great that he can't text me.
Don't worry about him getting residence, it won't happen from what you've said in a pink fit.
Please do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x0 -
The problem I have with trying not to communicate... is he texts every single day to ask how his kids are. Which I am fine with. I get free messages. And in a way am glad he gives a plop about his kids. Its when he phones or texts to ask favours.. or to ask me a question about his computer.. can I advise on this or that.
I am now going to only reply if its about the kids. I have now told him the days and times he can see both kids and told him he needs to stick to the set routine for the kids sake.
He will now have eldest DS for 3 days and 3 nights exactly. If he still wants to keep 1 of those nights staying at Nanna's thats fine aslong as its the set night each week so DS is not confused. He will also take youngest DS for 2-2.5 hours once a week.
From my hospital appointment today it seems if I have the op it will be a same day discharge.. and I will be awake for the procedure. And I read somewhere there are now laws that you can take baby with you. So that solves that one.. I can get my mum to come with me and sit with baby when I go for the op etc.
CAB rang me back, but have been told to go see my local one... and the solicitor that does the drop in's is the solicitor that started my divorce proceedings.. who I am still waiting for a call back from. If no call back tomorrow afternoon I will leave another message0 -
Btw I will no longer be replying as mumof1and1ontheway.. thought it about time I changed my username. Plus a new start etc may be a good idea* Mummy to my 2 gorgeous and amazing boys *0
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Good for you! The new Independant Mum! This is the start of the New, Assertive You!
(and watch ex-OH be dumbstruck! - either that or he will throw his toys out of the pram)
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Yep, well done - you go girl!!! :-)I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0
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