Would this bother you? Slightly weird breastfeeding question.

tiamai_d

bylromarha wrote: »

My first thought was that she's been around a lot of people breastfeeding and, remembering how curious I was about my body and the changes it was going through at 14, figured she wanted to see what would happen. Would her boobs start making milk? How does it feel when a baby tries to get milk?

To say "baby was hungry" as a response would have been what I'd have said - it is far less embarrassing at age 14 than saying "I wanted to know what my boobs were going to do and how it would feel".

Don't tell her off as I think it was a natural discovery she was investigating and don't make it seem a punishment for her previous action when you tell her she will no longer be having your baby.

Thats what I was trying to say but couldn't find the words.

danielle1977 wrote: »

When my baby was born I was told he wasn't allowed to come to the class, nor was my mum allowed to come and sit with him in the cafe or bring him in haflway through the day to feed-could of distracted the other learners-so much for supporting breatsfeeding!

When I was deciding between going to college for my second year immediately after the birth or waiting a year, I was told that I could breastfeed my baby as needed (but as it was a biology course I couldn't feed her in the labs which is a bit obvious). Handily the nursery was on the college grounds so they could just bring her to me or they would call for me to go down and feed her in the nursery. They also have a 'quiet room' that has a lock, it was designed for the special needs students but can also be used to express. I waited a year anyway, but it's nice to know that they have provisions.

skintchick

Wow, loads of great replies, thank you.

I think I should clarify that just because I don't think she has a high IQ, that doesn;t mean she couldn;t necessarily look after a child - plenty of people with low IQs have children and look after them very well.

Taadaa wrote: »

There is no way I would leave my child with her. Fair enough she might be lacking in intelligence, however that very fact might mean that she is silly enough to try it again. And you wouldn't know either way if she had.

I guess I wouldn't know but the more I think about it the more I think I wouldn;t mind if she did try with my DD. I mean, I'd prefer she didn't but it wouldn't freak me out, because I'd happily feed someone's baby if they asked me to.

beth58 wrote: »

I'd like to add to my earlier comment as no one has said so far; have either your friend or yourself considered talking to the girls mum or as minimoneysaver suggests talk to her tutor.

It's possible if she's been learning about wet nurses, she maybe though it would be ok to try. I realise it would be a difficult subject to try and bring up with the girls mum, but I feel it may be important if she is perhaps a little vulnerable herself and needs to learn how inappropriate this behaviour is.

My friend Sarah did speak to her mum. Unfortunately her mum probably just shouted at her and made it worse. I'm not supposed to know, but Sarah told me because Belle is supposed to be studying my DD.

courteener wrote: »

I do things that people find weird because I have Aspergers and I don't always get "the norm". I check with my Mum about things alot and she keeps an eye on me alot. I think you should let the girl keep using your baby for her case study but don't leave her alone with the baby, not because she's bad but because she might do something wrong just out of not knowing what's right.

I have only let her take DD out once, with another girl, and they went to the park. DD came back full of snacks and fast asleep. But generally I do feel I should be around as I'm not sure, from seeing her with her younger sisters, if she has the patience for a demanding young toddler.

I'm sorry not to reply to everyone but I have some real food for thought now and will have a good think. I do know Belle is on the verge of being expelled for swearing at teachers and generally being dreadful (although I have never seen her like this) so it may be a non-issue anyway.

My OH is OK with her looking after DD sometimes although I'd not be happy with her doing mealtime or bedtime, just taking her to the park for a couple of hours really.

Hmm. I will have to ponder this some more.

HelenKA_2

I did my NNEB and had to observe a baby. The health visitor arranged for me to go to a lady who had just had her first baby, she was also a primary school teacher. I was 17 or 18 and at no time was I left alone with the baby, later on when we all knew each other well and the mother had seen me with the baby changing nappy etc then I did do some babysitting.

I think it would be great for you to let the teenager come and observe, she could change the nappy and play with her in your earshot and presence and still get all the school course work done. It would give you plenty of time to chat with her and generally get her self esteem up within a controlled setting.

sassyblue

She can't be doing a BTEC at 14 though? You go to college to do that, in any case l agree with others l think she sounds downright odd and no way would l let her near my child supervised or not.

Sorry if l sound OTT but l don't care, children are too precious

Spendless

sassyblue wrote: »

She can't be doing a BTEC at 14 though? You go to college to do that, in any case l agree with others l think she sounds downright odd and no way would l let her near my child supervised or not.

Sorry if l sound OTT but l don't care, children are too precious

I don't know about childcare. I am unsure of what the qualification my neice did was called, but they certainly do BTECs in Secondary school nowadays. I have the prospectus for my local secondary school next to me and at the back they list all the exams taken last year with grades and there is Media BTEC, Science BTEC and Sport BTEC all listed. They'll start studying this for in yr 10 when kids will be 14 at the start of the academic year.

Make-it-3

I'd be freaked out, certainly doesn't sound normal behaviour for a 14 year old. Possibly she's got more of a fixation on having a baby herself rather than studying childcare. Even if she misguidedly thought she could breast feed, a girl of this age wouldn't normally feel comfortable about exposing her breasts in such a way.

Also I'd be suspicious that, particularly in this day and age, her studies would involve requiring her to spending any time alone with any child. If you want to continue helping her with her course work, I would suggest she interviews you directly and doesn't spend any time on her own with your child. Also watch out for any unusual behaviour on her part and maybe have a word with her mum.

Isksta

Give the poor girl a break.

Some mamas would be more alarmed if they came back from the loo to find a bottle of formula in the babies mouth. Some mamas get upset if their toddler gives their baby dolls a bottle instead of breastfeeding it. Maybe her mums pro breast feeding and thats all the child knows , she wanted to comfort the child like the mama did and thats the only way she knew how too.

I done childcare and breastfeeding was mentioned once , didnt go into great details at all.

There could be 101 reasons as to why and i think its a bit mean to judge before you know her reasons but your only find that reason by speaking to her , i think you owe her that at least.

knickieknack

I would definatily agree with ellies angel I have a 15 yr old daughter.if a 14yr is not aware this is wrong something is wrong whether mentally or phisically.Don't want to sound cruel but even my 3 three yr old Knows this is a mommys thing.

sassyblue

Isksta wrote: »

Give the poor girl a break.

Some mamas would be more alarmed if they came back from the loo to find a bottle of formula in the babies mouth. Some mamas get upset if their toddler gives their baby dolls a bottle instead of breastfeeding it. Maybe her mums pro breast feeding and thats all the child knows , she wanted to comfort the child like the mama did and thats the only way she knew how too.

I done childcare and breastfeeding was mentioned once , didnt go into great details at all.

There could be 101 reasons as to why and i think its a bit mean to judge before you know her reasons but your only find that reason by speaking to her , i think you owe her that at least.

I hope you're not implying the OP is one of those alarmist mamas?

You don't need to go into much detail to know if your 14 and have never had a baby you can't breastfeed a baby.

The mum owes her nothing but the girl owes the mum a HUGE apology.

lauren_1

I think its really unfair to start mentioning mental health when it could just be a misunderstanding.

Given that she is 14 she probably only just started doing the childcare option at school this term, she wouldn't have gone through what happens during breastfeeding. From what I remember of my course we studied the baby and how it interacted, learnt, what stages the baby would go through etc etc all the 'mental aspect'.

It was until the 2nd year we got round to the physical aspect, menstruation, hormones, pregnancy, birth...and even then the bf part didnt make it clear you needed hormones to start it nor did it go through the 3rd labour stage, even though I got an A in my GCSE it was only after I had my first child I really understood what happened to the placenta.

She may just be really really really immature rather than mentally ill.