Would this bother you? Slightly weird breastfeeding question.

skintchick

This is a bit of an odd one, and it's about breastfeeding although I can;t ask it on my usual BF forum as they know the other person involved, and it's not my place to share her business. I'm thinking that on here no-one will know her (she doesn;t come on here).

Anyway, my friend 'Sarah' and I have a mutual friend 'Donna' who has a 14yo daughter 'Belle' (obviously not real names).

Belle is studying childcare at BTech and has asked if she can use my DD who is 14 months as a child to study which involves asking me questions about her development and, later on, taking her out and about and kind of studying her. I said yes because although she isn;t the sharpest tool in the shed, she loves children and dotes on my DD, and I know her family from church.

So, today, Sarah told me that the other day she went over to Donna's house with her youngest child who is 6 months. She asked Belle to hold him while she went to the loo.

She returned to find Belle attempting to breastfeed him.

IT seems she freaked out a little, said it was inappropriate, asked Donna to have a word with Belle about how it's not right to do that to other people's babies (not that she would have any milk anyway) and is mostly OK with it but won;t leave her baby with Belle again.

Belle, when asked why she did it, said 'he was hungry'. WHen told it was inappropriate she burst into tears and ran to her room.

Sarah has told me because she feels I might not want to leave my DD with her now.

I don't know how to feel. My DD is much older and eats solids as well as having breastfeeds, so IMO Belle is far more likely to feed her chocolate and cakes than to try and BF her. OH feels the same way.

Am I being remiss is allowing her to look after my DD? Would you be OK with it? I'm pretty certain she won;t try and BF any more babies now after being told not to.

I also think that as she's not that intelligent, she had seen my friend and I BFing, knew it's what you do for hungry babies, my friend's baby was hungry, she might have thought all women have milk all the time and just thought anyone can feed them, in the same way that you can if babies are fed expressed BM or formula. Which I think is kind of sweet, in a weird way.

What do you think?

beth58_2

Sounds like she could just be a young girl who's maybe experimenting to see what it was like to breastfeed??

But more to the point;
If a 14 yr old who's studying childcare was silly enough to think she could breast feed someone elses child, I don't think any child should be left in her care. She is either very immature or just plain daft. So either way my answer is DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD IN HER CARE.

Good luck.

TitchD

I agree. If Belle was younger, then you could easily imagine that she was just copying her Mum and trying to feed the baby when it was hungry.

But if she is 14 and studying this very topic, it seems very strange that she thinks she can breastfeed.

I would be worried that if she cannot grasp something like that, it does not matter how much she dotes on children, she may do them some harm without realising it.

I would be a bit wary.

But of course, this is my personal opinion!

Good luck.

JC9297

I agree with beth58, as you obviously consider her to be lacking in intelligence are you really happy to trust her with caring for your child on her own, I know I wouldn't be.

moomoomama27

I would be running a merry mile away from this girl, no way does she have the understanding to look after a baby/child if she thinks she can blooming breastfeed one!

fantafan

It's just plain freaky. My 14yo niece wouldn't dream of doing that. It does sound like she has special needs or learning difficulties (?). Most teenagers I know wouldn't even show a bra strap let alone try and get a baby to BF. I wouldn't be asking in to babysit that's for sure. IMO anyway.

GobbledyGook

She doesn't seem to have seen the inappropriateness of attempting to breastfeed someone else's child without their permission. However, more worrying for me is that at 14 years old and studying a childcare course she thought she could feed him - that suggests she's either very young for her age or not very bright. Due to that I wouldn't leave her in sole care of my child.

Edited to add if I was in Sarah's shoes I'd be fuming at someone attempting to BF my baby.

tiamai_d

Possibly she was just trying to see what it was like. Or maybe she is just a genuinely naive little girl and honestly didn't know any better.

Skinty I don't think you would leave your DD unattended with her anyway. I'd put it down to a strange growing up thing, very strange but not done out of any malice, probably curiosity. We've all done seriously inappropriate embarrassing things in our youth, maybe not breastfeeding a baby that isn't your own, but there will be something.

Comes down to the question if you would feel comfortable with her continuing to study your daughter or not.

poet123

I wouldn't be allowing her sole charge of my child either, who knows what other misconceptions she may have, some may even be dangerous, for example, feeding a baby peanuts, or any one of a hundred other scenarios that you may assume anyone of average intelligence would know.

got-it-spend-it

I personally would not leave my baby with her. It's not the breastfeeding that would bother me per se, but ithe fact that it shows she is seriously misinformed.

I would be worried what else she might think she can feed a baby, would she try and give medicine if baby was crying or fell over?

I would be happy for her to continue to 'study' my baby as long as I or my husband were always present as well but I certainly wouldn't leave her alone with baby.

geri1965_2

14 seems a bit young to be doing a BTEC in child care. My niece is doing it at college and she is 16.