Would this bother you? Slightly weird breastfeeding question.

bestpud

I'm quite alarmed you seem to think her 'lack of intelligence' is the main reason you should understand her behaviour and carry on with the arrangement!

For me it is by far the most alarming aspect!

I allowed a girl of similar age to look after my eldest daughter as experience for her childcare course at school. The difference was her mum asked me and it was 100% on the understanding she would be there at all times. I trusted the mother and knew the girl was sensible, plus my dd was always happy going there, so I was fine with it.

I think you need to make some adjustments if this girl is to carry on 'looking after' your child tbh.

I also think it would be wrong to treat her like a leper though. She's done it and it can't be taken back so imagine how she will perceive everyone recoiling in horror and treating her like she's a danger to children?

She's not a danger as such imo; she's just a child who needs supervision and maybe some 'real life education'.

Can you arrange it so there is an adult around, or could she come to your house instead? That seems better than making her feel she should be hanged for making a mistake.

SugarSpun

lauren_1 wrote: »

I think she is doing the child development GCSE, it really is not that in depth tbh. It barely covers the obvious.

Obviously!

I wouldn't leave her in charge of my wee beastie, nobody with that little common sense should be in sole charge of a small child IMO. If it was only supervised contact, however, I'd probably let her continue studying her - she's probably thoroughly mortified by her mistake and if she's being watched you'd have the chance to correct any other ridiculous mistakes well before they become a problem.

Gingham_Ribbon

She's not mature enough to have sole responsibility for a baby, unfortunately.

Trying to breastfeed the child isn't 'weird' or wrong given that she thought she would be able to do it and obviously realises how natural and normal breastfeeding is. But, as has been pointed out, she doesn't have the maturity or experience to make safe decisions for your child.

Feeding peanuts has already been mentioned, I'm also thinking of things like letting her sit on a table or put marbles in her mouth.

Personally, I would tell her that she just has some more things to learn about looking after babies and that trying to breastfeed wasn't bad or wrong and you're not punishing her for it.

I'd also tell her that when she's older and knows more about it, she'll be a great babysitter.

mazinmouse

robpw2 wrote: »

i do not think 14 year olds should be looking after children period because they can not make adult descisons should they need to be made.
however i think some of you are over reacting when it comes to the breastfeeding situation what you must not do it freak this girl out completly so she believes that breastfeeding is something that is wrong or embarrassing. the situation needs handling gently and i think going to her tutor/ parent could make the matter so much worse .

Totally agree with this comment. And with Gingham Ribbon's and Sugarspun's comments too.

choccymoose

my main worry is the comment about lack of intelligence, your daughter is your most precious possession ask yourself if you can really trust this child to care for her on a one to one basis.!! I would have concerns over the incident!

Does she have basic common sense or even want to work with children or is she a student who has been pushed in the childcare direction by teachers at school saying its an easy option. Believe me that can be what happens, they think they are going to play mum, play games and sit back and gossip with their friends about what they got up to last night.

I visit a lot of childcare settings and tutor childcare courses and am astounded by the lack of interest in the children and the job from many of the students. This isn't all students of course but usually the ones who have been pushed in that direction. Childcare qualifications in this country need to be rethought!

I doubt she is doing the Btec course as there are entry level requirements (or should be).

I think this needs to be discussed with her mum, she needs to find out what childcare is like in reality, go to a good quality setting and ask if she can talk to some of the staff working in the setting to understand the level of work involved. Contact your local early years advisory team to find out which settings would be good to visit! Don't ask the school or college as they send students anywhere that will have them, another huge issue, but that's for a whole other conversation!!!

Spendless

My neice studied my daughter for the same course from the age of 14 (DD would have been 2). For the huge majority of the time I was about, as neice observed what words DD knew, what she ate, that she knew her colours, and so on. Only later on did neice take her out for this course and I *think* that was to observe what DD was like without a parent there. Neice took her to the park near our house.
What about asking exactly what the childcare course involves them doing, before you make a decision as to whether you are comfortable with this or not.

bylromarha

My first thought was that she's been around a lot of people breastfeeding and, remembering how curious I was about my body and the changes it was going through at 14, figured she wanted to see what would happen. Would her boobs start making milk? How does it feel when a baby tries to get milk?

To say "baby was hungry" as a response would have been what I'd have said - it is far less embarrassing at age 14 than saying "I wanted to know what my boobs were going to do and how it would feel".

Don't tell her off as I think it was a natural discovery she was investigating and don't make it seem a punishment for her previous action when you tell her she will no longer be having your baby.

I'g also say that a lot of kids I know who've chosen childcare at a young age was because they were immature and saw playing with babies all day as lots of fun. Following this to its conclusion, an immature 14 year old isn't ready yet to look after a baby alone. With supervision, she'd no doubt be great, but TBH, I would never have contemplated leaving either of my babies or toddlers with a 14 year old, fullstop, unless the 14 year old was walking the baby round in the pram in a quiet area.

clairec79

I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving her caring for my child - having her around my child and studying the child I would be ok though

courteener

I do things that people find weird because I have Aspergers and I don't always get "the norm". I check with my Mum about things alot and she keeps an eye on me alot. I think you should let the girl keep using your baby for her case study but don't leave her alone with the baby, not because she's bad but because she might do something wrong just out of not knowing what's right.

danielle1977

I did an NVQ in childcare (I was age 26 and had baby 2 on the way), it was strongly stressed that breastfeeding should be supported, the teacher never said the mum should come in and breastfeed the baby, maybe the girl has misunderstood what she has been told and just needs someone to explain it to her?

When my baby was born I was told he wasn't allowed to come to the class, nor was my mum allowed to come and sit with him in the cafe or bring him in haflway through the day to feed-could of distracted the other learners-so much for supporting breatsfeeding!