The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

honeybear_2

Thanks, my lovely!

Never thought you were green - your user-name (to me) implies all soft & silky & grey/tabby kind of fur

honeybear_2

randomname wrote: »

Impossible!!!

I assure you it's true. I'm mere moments away from hospitalisation...

SimIsOnTheUp

Good Evening guys and girls.

Clarity of thought is slowly coming back tonight, after my three day bender last week.

My mind keeps playing over just how much money I wasted (which had been for paying off some debts) :-/

After prioritising, and going through paperwork, I made my phone calls yesterday, and paid off my Rent arrears of £35. Rent is now all up to date.

Also paid off my Electric arrears of £45 (and now have my payment arrangement reinstated / NPower's guarantee that I won't be cut off / have a Prepayment Meter back in).

Paid the £28 Broadband off too.

Can't quite believe that I wasted around £500 last week, in just three days (on stuff I didn't need / train trips / hotel stays on top of the booze).

It actually makes me feel physically sick.

Haven't been out of my flat since last Friday, as I've felt very shaky. But at least I've eaten and not drank.

I've found some work I can do from home, but I do need to get out every day too.

Have an appointment with my Substance Misuse Worker on Friday, which I'll be keeping.

Am so bl oody annoyed with myself for getting in this mess again.

Going through my online bank statement is gutting.

Have ordered that book off Amazon, 'No Big Deal' - Think it was Jo who recommended it (thanks Jo - hope you are feeling a bit better now).

I just feel stupid and weak willed.

Cheers,

Sim xx

penelopedee_2

:j:jMonday to Thursday AF Challenge:j:j

DecemberBaby
Jo
Puzzcat :)
Randomname
StressedoutSue

:j3 Night Special :j

Maman

I'm happy to list on a night by night basis if anyone just wants to pledge for the day

Clarabell (Tues)
Shopaholictiedtheknot (Mon)

SimIsOnTheUp

Something I'll never do ever again, is stay in a hotel alone.

What a sad thing to do!

:-/

honeybear_2

Sim, I've just spent 10 minutes typing stuff but I couldn't get it to any good conclusion.

I'm sorry, this is tough, but I really strongly believe you need so much more help than we can offer here. Every time you have a positive you hit a negative again, & that is soul destroying (I say that last bit from personal experience, btw).

Please stop cancelling your appointments. Please spend time with thse who can help you. This is about so much more than alcohol.

I worry about you, hon

xx

graemecarter

honeybear wrote: »

Sim, I've just spent 10 minutes typing stuff but I couldn't get it to any good conclusion.

I'm sorry, this is tough, but I really strongly believe you need so much more help than we can offer here. Every time you have a positive you hit a negative again, & that is soul destroying (I say that last bit from personal experience, btw).

Please stop cancelling your appointments. Please spend time with thse who can help you. This is about so much more than alcohol.

I worry about you, hon

xx

Good post. I need much more than is offered on this thread. I believe many others do to. There are quite a few people on here whose lives are being destroyed by alcoholism, albeit slowly.
This thread is great, but it only goes so far.
Many of us suffer from alcoholism, and it is such a b8stard of an illness that there is no cure for it. However, it is possible to live your life in such a way that you don't have to drink, one day at a time.

One of the nastiest features of alcoholism is that it tells you that you haven't got it, and thus you don't even try that hard to get better. That's what kills so many people. :mad:

So_Sad_Angel

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Have ordered that book off Amazon, 'No Big Deal' - Think it was Jo who recommended it (thanks Jo - hope you are feeling a bit better now).

I just feel stupid and weak willed.

Cheers,

Sim xx

Sim Sweetheart I have read your posts but not known what to say.....I guess they took me back to when I was where you are & I could`nt reply as it was still very sensitive to me.

I just wanted to say I`m supporting you in your `recovery` from your blip last week....its so hard & god knows I have sat & cried until I am numb when it happened to me.

AllI can say is `one day at a time` ...you know already that but please don`t dwell on last week....that is gone now so try & imagine a new line in the sand & look at whats ahead rather than what is now in the past.

Be strong.....

Angiexx

SimIsOnTheUp

honeybear wrote: »

Sim, I've just spent 10 minutes typing stuff but I couldn't get it to any good conclusion.

I'm sorry, this is tough, but I really strongly believe you need so much more help than we can offer here. Every time you have a positive you hit a negative again, & that is soul destroying (I say that last bit from personal experience, btw).

Please stop cancelling your appointments. Please spend time with thse who can help you. This is about so much more than alcohol.

I worry about you, hon

xx

Thanks honeybear.

The cycle has been exhausting, and it has to stop.

You saying that "This is about so much more than alcohol".

You're right. It's almost been about purging myself. It's odd.

My social anxiety has gone through the roof again, hence I drank to feel 'normal'.

I've even started to worry that I could be bipolar. I doubt it though.

Too much drinking, and too much thinking has got me nowhere!

Time for a change of course I think.

Need to talk to my CBT chap.

Hope you've had a relaxing evening HB.

Sim xx

SimIsOnTheUp

graemecarter wrote: »

Good post. I need much more than is offered on this thread. I believe many others do to. There are quite a few people on here whose lives are being destroyed by alcoholism, albeit slowly.
This thread is great, but it only goes so far.
Many of us suffer from alcoholism, and it is such a b8stard of an illness that there is no cure for it. However, it is possible to live your life in such a way that you don't have to drink, one day at a time.

One of the nastiest features of alcoholism is that it tells you that you haven't got it, and thus you don't even try that hard to get better. That's what kills so many people. :mad:

Thanks Graeme.

What I emphasised in bold - I'm trying so damn hard to focus on that, without obsessing if you get me.

I even feel too embarrassed to go back to AA, but would like to.

Hope you're well.

Sim.