The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

365days

Hugs Elantan. I don't know the answer I'm afraid.

My Uncle was an alcoholic, my auntie 'picked up the pieces' for him regularly. (Covered up for him, made excuses for him, cleaned him up etc etc) Whatever she did she couldn't stop him drinking. In the end she left him, even though she still loved him as she couldn't take it anymore and it was affecting her own life so badly. They still saw each other regularly but on the understanding that she would only see him when he was sober. Unfortunately he died from liver failure in the end. Nothing stopped him drinking.

So as I say I don't know the answer. I know you said you found Al-Anon unhelpful but maybe there are other support groups/forums out there that can help. A google of 'alcoholic husband' should help you find them (If I'm not teaching you to suck eggs.)


All the best.

Trasijocha

I was thinking how peoples Alcohol consumption habits have changed over the last 30 years. Drinking of an evening indoors was unheard of when I was a kid but even my mum has a couple of gin & tonics every evening now. 2 AF DAYS FOR ME SO FAR PLEASE SHAGGY, TRASI XX

gien

Elantan, that is so tragic, my heart goes out to you. I have no advice to give, just didn't want to read and run. Does your DH accept that he has a problem? And does he want support for it. Could he even come and read these threads?

Lurkio

gien wrote: »

Elantan, that is so tragic, my heart goes out to you. I have no advice to give, just didn't want to read and run. Does your DH accept that he has a problem? And does he want support for it. Could he even come and read these threads?

Now THAT is an excellent idea. Start with the first thread and just get him to read for a while, see if anything resonates.......

I haven't got any good advice of my own, sorry. But he does have to realise that he has a problem, rather than be told by anyone else

((((hugs))))

elantan

hey all....


well i took 365's advice ... i have looked online before but have always found it far far removed from what i am going through ... but today it was helpful in the sense that my husbands behaviour whilst drinking has started to change (obviously the brain damage is kicking in now) so it was good for me to read those pages and see that is is normal and what is to be expected ... but the thing that is different for me is the way i am behaving ... i dont seem to fit the stereo typical partener of a drinker ... but i did recognise parts of my behaviour in what i was reading ... just parts but it was enough to give me some insight into ways i can change ... so thankyou 365 for suggesting it ... i wouldnt have bothered if you hadnt purely because i had done so before ...

lurkio i have suggested to him many times to come on here even read some of the stories to him .... he knows it is here but he will have to be the one that decides to join


he will admit when he has a hangover or when he feels like !!!! that he has a problem .... but when the memory of all that fades it is me that has the problem not him .... his choice his life his decision


thanks all again for your support i trully do appreciate it honestly

yellowmonkey

elantan wrote: »

do you know what hurts? what really really hurts ...

watching your best friend, the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with kill themself and knowing there is nothing nothing at all that you can do to stop it.... watching your marriage slowly die but finding yourself unwilling to give up until you can be able to say to yourself well i know i did my best ... i know there was nothing more i could do....

almost finding yourself wishing you believed in god so that you could pray for a miracle cause it looks like nothing else will cut it ... seeing a glimpse of the future for the man you love ... knowing he will loose everything EVERYTHING that means something to him ... to be replaced with drinking buddies and living in squalor till he gets sooooo ill he gets taken into hopsital where he will slowly die an agonising death ....

that really really hurts


just wanted to share this with you all please dont think i am trying to be nasty or anything ... this is just where i am at just now and really wish i wasnt .... does anyone have any advice of what i can do to help hubby ?

Got me this post. You could be talking about me

Marru

Elantan - hugs to you. I don't know what to say.

Day 5 please Shaggy

Double AF challenge day 5:
- A: do some studying
- F: TBC

penelopedee_2

Declaring AF tonight. 4 please Shaggy.

graemecarter

Elantan - my heart goes out to you. A horrid situation.
There is nothing you can do until he really wants help. Alcoholism is a slow and painful form of suicide, and your husband will be in huge pain as well as you. Unfortunately alcoholism is a selfish illness. His relationship with alcohol is stronger than his relationship with you (even though he has an abusive relationship with alcohol).
Protect yourself and put yourself first. We cannot control other people, only the way we act and react. Good luck.

penelopedee_2

:j:j Monday to Thursday Challenge :j:j

Maman
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