The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

mrsrainman

Hi All. I've been lurking for a few weeks and think it might be good for me to join you to hopefully get a bit of support. I'll try to make it brief...................I've never been a big drinker(not at all now) but Mr R. is. We've been together 4 1/2 years and i'm tired of hearing the empty promises to stop. An average week would be:
Monday - Friday; Finish work at 4. Stop of at Asda and buy 3 bottles of wine for £10 OR a 6 pack of Bud (depending on if he's on call)
Saturday & Sunday; Be up and dressed by about 11am. Walk down to Asda and pick up the 3 for £10 and an extra bottle of Red.

I can't have a normal conversation with him as it either turns into an arguement or he can't concentrate for long enough. I can't tell him anything important as he forgets, we don't go out socially as he shows me up. It's affecting my life but I can't seem to make him see that.

I know I can't force him to change, he has to want to stop. But i'm 23 weeks pregnant. I can't keep on cleaning the kitchen floor at 1am cos he thought he was in the bathroom (last week!), or being woken up when he's wandering around, again looking for the bathroom (last night). I'm tired!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'll try to keep a diary of what he actually drinks. And if anyone has any tips I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to nag him all the time, but it feels like that is all I do!!

maman

happyshopper wrote: »

Hello chaps and chappesses

Am on 13/20 AFDs. Low scorage due to a boozy holiday and not saying no to glasses of wine with dinner that I didn't need or even want. That means I need to clock up 7/8 nights AF to make my target. Going to be touch and go but will give it a good go. Should get there or thereabouts.

Nice to see some new faces on here. Seems a bit odd saying that in a way, but you know what I mean. Brings new perspectives and experiences to old lags like me

ETA: Hope it's OK to post this article from today's Guardian: Playing drunk. I've never been convinced by the 'in vino veritas' argument. Certainly for me, am far more likely to say ridiculous untrue things when drunk than when sober.

hs

Good to see you back HS and good luck in the next few days. I can't confirm whether 'in vino veritas' is true or not as I never remember what I've been saying or doing!:rotfl:
Fortunately, it's a long, long time since I was really drunk or even hungover. Thanks to this thread.:T

Rossie_Cheeks

mrsrainman wrote: »

I know I can't force him to change, he has to want to stop. But i'm 23 weeks pregnant. I can't keep on cleaning the kitchen floor at 1am cos he thought he was in the bathroom (last week!), or being woken up when he's wandering around, again looking for the bathroom (last night). I'm tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome rainman, I have only just joned myself and already finding this place so helpful.

I can relate the the conversation and forgetfulness, as I know that I cannot always remember conversation I have had when I've been drinking.

With regards to the accidents can you leave this for him to clean up as this may ring home to him how bad he must of been after the drinking, as it would also be quite embarrassing and give him a bit of a reality check.

Rossie_Cheeks

cardboard_chewer wrote: »

Hi Rossie, I'm no legal expert but I think you have to give your consent before someone such as an employer can access your medical records under the Data Protection Act. However not giving your consent might mean an employer not offering you the job. Do you work in an industry where medical record checks are standard practice?

To be honest it is a long time since I have had to look for another job, but I know that I have had to have medicals in the past. They are just standard though, my work is office based so no special circumstances. I might ask the doctor when I go back for my results.

Thanks

elantan

mrsrainman wrote: »

Hi All. I've been lurking for a few weeks and think it might be good for me to join you to hopefully get a bit of support. I'll try to make it brief...................I've never been a big drinker(not at all now) but Mr R. is. We've been together 4 1/2 years and i'm tired of hearing the empty promises to stop. An average week would be:
Monday - Friday; Finish work at 4. Stop of at Asda and buy 3 bottles of wine for £10 OR a 6 pack of Bud (depending on if he's on call)
Saturday & Sunday; Be up and dressed by about 11am. Walk down to Asda and pick up the 3 for £10 and an extra bottle of Red.

I can't have a normal conversation with him as it either turns into an arguement or he can't concentrate for long enough. I can't tell him anything important as he forgets, we don't go out socially as he shows me up. It's affecting my life but I can't seem to make him see that.

I know I can't force him to change, he has to want to stop. But i'm 23 weeks pregnant. I can't keep on cleaning the kitchen floor at 1am cos he thought he was in the bathroom (last week!), or being woken up when he's wandering around, again looking for the bathroom (last night). I'm tired!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'll try to keep a diary of what he actually drinks. And if anyone has any tips I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to nag him all the time, but it feels like that is all I do!!

sounds like your having a bit of a hard time just now ... does he drink the 3 bottles he buys every night ? is it like 27 /28 bottles a week? or is it one bottle a night and it takes him a few nights to drink the 3 he got for a tenner?

i know that seems like a bit of a silly q but trying to understand a bit ... from what it sounds like he drinks the 3 a night to me (hence the reason peeing the floor etc)

the best advice i can give you is to look after yourself ... you have to put you and your unborn (congrats by the way) child first ... do you want your child growing up in an environment like this ?

i started a support thread on here for those affected by drink ... it was read by many but seemed to die a death so i thought it was maybe not as big an issue for others as it was for me

good luck with it all

StressedOutSue

18 for me please, Shaggy.

I've FINALLY lost the excess pounds I put on when went skiing in Feb half term :j (cos I don't do a lot of skiing, and I ate more than usual and had wine every night). It's taken a ridiculous amount of time to get rid of, I wonder if this is due to my age now?(52) :rotfl:

Good luck to all the new people. It has certainly helped me to control my drinking by being on this thread over the past two years. I would LOVE some wine this evening, but I'm not letting myself have any because drinking tonight would make me not achieve my target this month.

RecoveringAlcoholic

I can't keep on cleaning the kitchen floor at 1am cos he thought he was in the bathroom (last week!), or being woken up when he's wandering around, again looking for the bathroom (last night).

Been there, done that...........and wet the bed.

You may like to get some information from Al-Anon and leave it lying around for OH to find.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

.

Miss_Piggy_2

Mrs Rainman - welcome to the thread. I hope we can all be of some support to you as, as Elantan so rightly said, it seems like you are having a very hard time of it.

If your partner is drinking 3 bottles a night then I think Recovering_alcoholic is right in that he needs help from somewhere. It may be worth thinking about.

You need to be thinking about YOU right now, and your child. Please stick around - we are very nice and am sure we can be a good sounding board for you.:)

Miss P
xx

mrsrainman

Thanks for the welcome :j I could have gone on about MrR's moods,temper, nastiness. But like I said, I wanted to make it brief. And i guess you all know where I'm coming from.

sounds like your having a bit of a hard time just now ... does he drink the 3 bottles he buys every night ? is it like 27 /28 bottles a week? or is it one bottle a night and it takes him a few nights to drink the 3 he got for a tenner?
elantan, it depends on if he is on call for work. If he's not on call then it'll be 2-3 a night. (the 3rd bottle usually gets started). If he's on call then he would buy a couple of Bud or just finish off the wine from the previous night. His main problem is once he starts he doesn't know when to stop!

With regards to the accidents can you leave this for him to clean up as this may ring home to him how bad he must of been after the drinking, as it would also be
Rossie, that's something i've thought about doing but as I'm normally first up in the morning it's difficult to get on with my day until it's been cleaned up.

Just need him to stop before Little Bean arrives (which he keeps saying he will!!) My latest thing has been to say that if I need to be taken to the hospital in an emergency and he isn't fit to drive then I'll go on my own. I know that sounds harsh but I'm just trying to get through to him

elantan

it doesnt sound harsh at all ... i used to worry with my hubby ... what if an emergency happened he would be useless .... if we had a fire in the house i couldnt never get him out so he would die in the fire ... these are things i used to worry about .. he didnt understand ( or care) about them whilst he was drinking though ... he thought i was making too much out of it ... now that he isnt drinking the same and now that things are different he can see what i was talking about

i dont want to upset you and i hope i am wrong ... but i doubt it if he will give it up once the wee one arrives ... you have to think how if this is the case you want to handle the situation ... if i can help in anway please feel free to pm me