Terrified of birth

pinkclouds

pawpurrs wrote: »

I have watched that cherry thing and a lot of hypnobirths some of which look amazing. Am reading ina mays guide at the moment, which arrived today. I guess I could fit a tub in the sitting room if we moved all the furniture, would need to close the curtains etc...........the birthing centre looks quite nice though, compared to hospital. Will consider a doula, but in what way are they better than a midwife? And would the midwifes be happy for you to take a doula?
Thanks ladies xoxox mucho appreciated.

A doula isn't a midwife. She is your personal pregnancy/childbirth supporter who can help with everything non-medical, talk through all your birth fears and plans, provide ante- and post-natal visits (depending on the services offered) and stay with you throughout labour. I don't know if midwives dislike doulas but you are perfectly entitled to hire one and she can accompany you to hospital (in addition to your husband) if you end up having a hospital birth.

The advantage of a doula is continuity of care - she is someone familiar to you, that will stay with you instead of clocking off at the end of her shift. With your husband and a doula, you will never be left on your own during your labour.

Btw, I'm glad you're sounding happier about the birth but please don't build *all* your hopes on a home birth. There is every likelihood you will have a happy, safe, successful home birth but babies do not actually read your birth plans and you might end up at hospital anyway. Perhaps you should check out the facilities at your local hospital just in case? There should be a birthing pool, possibly a "home" style room (for all those disappointed home birthers making an emergency dash to hospital) and definitely the option to pay for a private recovery room (think: very basic hotel).

Pink_butterfly_3

I know how you feel!

But I have had two natural births with nothing but a TENS machine (amazing thing) and i'm still here to tell the tale. Any other kind of pain relief freaked me the hell out! I also felt the same about the hospital but to be honest it is a TOTALLY different experience being in the hospital giving birth as you are not ill - just pregnant!

I won't lie to you and say thats its a fantastic painfree experience but once its over, its over!

I also liked the idea of a water birth but having to take my tens machine off quickly stoppered that idea i'm afraid.

I know a million people will say this to you and it will probably mean nothing, but your body DOES take over. I'm not saying the pain disappears or anything but you kind of get into the zone. I remember with my second, I pushed that baby out in four pushes as I was not having it taking any longer, lol. BUT once he was out, I felt absolutely 100% fine. I could of skipped out the hospital there and then - it was weird!

What I will say though is that the immense feeling of pride you feel in yourself afterwards is amazing. To think about the amazing thing you've just done and the amazing baby you've just produced is a one of a kind feeling! My kids are 4 & 5 now and I still sometimes just marvel at the fact that I gave birth to both of them lol!

Greener_Grass

I was the same when i was pregnant, when you are actually in the situation it is so different, your body just takes over and knows what to do. My labour was long and painful but ds had his hand up at his face so probably why but i would still do it again tommorrow. As everyone has said before, yes it hurts but what you get at the end is SO worth it and realistically labour is just a few (hopefully) hours of your life, you are getting this amazing gift and the rush of love you will feel when you see your baby will make you instantly forget/ care about all that pain you've just gone through.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine! Don't be ashamed to accept the drugs! That's what they're there for!

savingmummy

I know it is a silly question but what is it that frightens you about the birth?
Pain - can be controlled and as many women find it really is a different experience, your body is made to do the whole birth thing so any pain is natural.

Hospital fear - Arrange for a tour, these are detailed and you may be surprised how different maternity departments are. It is however safe as in dr`s, machinery.
Hospitals can be very clinical you will be allowed your own pillow, sheet and even radio to make it more pleasant. I took everything even baby bedding as i felt easier having my own.
Maybe see into birthing centre/home birth if it is hospital based anxiety.

I have had a epidural and a spinal block and they were not as bad as people say, i was concentrating so much on my contraction i didnt feel the epidural! Spinal i had for my elective c section and it was fine no nasty effects or anything.

Dont listen to horror stories

Most worries regarding childbirth can be eased by finding out more and having a broad knowledge of whatever your fear is.
I hope you keep in touch and let us all know how you get on.

skintchick

hi, I'm another vote for a home birth, having had one myself, and also for a doula, as mine was great.

But I would recommedn getting a copy of Grantley !!!!!!-Read's Childbirth Without Fear http://www.amazon.co.uk/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/0953096467 as I read this and found it rea;lly helped me get my head round what my body was going to have to do.

I wasn't actually scared at all, at any point in my pregnancy, but I found this book fascinating, It is heavy reading and quite scientific in places, but it is my one must-read recommendation as it explains how your body will work to give birth and what you can do to help it.

rach

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Rach that is your opinion, which is cool and all, but for me, it is the ONLY way I have been able to come to terms with it.

totally, just how it feels for me as makes me worry even more! But it is true of course! :rotfl:

beedeedee

Crikey - it's 34 years since I was pregnant and I opted for an epidural - it was the best thing ever and I have NEVER regretted it!
And that was in the days where you couldn't move around whilst having contractions, which I believe you are encouraged to do now?

Bestthingsinlifearefree

I was terrified of giving birth and I am a bloke !! (the sight of blood makes me feel faint).The best bit of advice I heard is to remind yourself that the human body (womans) is designed to give birth. i.e it is perfectly natural function of being a woman etc etcLike a lot of things in life when you expect / fear the worst, most times out it turns out a lot better than you expect.Once you are in labour, instinct kicks in and you will have depths of courage and strength that you never knew you had.Plus remember the midwifes and doctors have seen it all before. The hospital where our lad was born does 3000 births a year !!! So it may have been all new and scary for me and my wife but it was reassuring to know they had seen it all before.Well thats a blokes perspective. Good luck !!!Best

tiamai_d

The thing with childbirth is that yes, it hurts. But not in the way that a broken bone hurts or it would hurt if you were crushed under a car, it's a productive pain. It's a very different pain one you can't really imagine until you have felt it. You will get through it, it does eventually stop and it is worthwhile.

Of course none of that actually matters while you are waiting for it to happen

Have a good talk with yourself or with a friend if you're not yet loopy (a few weeks of sleep deprivation and you will be as loopy as the rest of us) and try to work out why it scares you. Once you understand that you can speak to your mw and get a plan of action together on how to deal with it.

tiamai_d

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Rach that is your opinion, which is cool and all, but for me, it is the ONLY way I have been able to come to terms with it.

rach wrote: »

totally, just how it feels for me as makes me worry even more! But it is true of course! :rotfl:

LOL! :rotfl:

It's ok for us to say that to ourselves, it's when other folk say it to you! Usually with a smug grin on their mugs and you wanna lamp them.... :cool::rotfl: