Terrified of birth

weezl74

pawpurrs wrote: »

Dh would like a home birth, i am not against it, but our cottage is tiny and I want a water birth.

what's the largest space of floor area you could make available for a pool? It doesn't need inflating and filling until you start to go into labour (stay in a lovely hot bath while DH inflates and fills it)

WestonDave

See if there is a natural birth class going anywhere near you - my OH did a series of pregnancy yoga sessions and we both did a "birth day" which was a day long class learning all about how it works, how to be more relaxed, how to make things happen more easily by being in the right positions etc. It was specifically for expectant mums and their partners (either their "husbands" or the person they wanted with them on the day) to look at all these things together, spark discussions and get things out in the open. It can be a bit "earth mother" but even to an old cynic like me its all useful information that you can choose to use or discard. A lot of fear comes from the unknown so the more you find out the more you can start to rationalise away fears. Don't forget your OH will have fears and questions too, and will be worried about you - watching your partner in pain isn't a prospect any decent person looks forward to so exploring these things together should help you both and also strengthen your relationship for the fractious sleep deprived nights of early parenting. You'll need each other so work on that now if you can.

We did find that a homebirth was much more relaxed for our second than the hospital birth first time round, but having said that things do vary from place to place. After our first my OH was lucky to get moved to an outlying cottage hospital for a few days recovery and the atmosphere there was much more relaxed than the big nearby hospital.

pinkclouds

I think you need someone familiar that you can rely on throughout pregnancy and birth. I don't know whether your budget can stretch to an obstetrician (worth every penny, imo) but a doula would only charge a few hundred pounds and you could apply for some sort of hardship grant if necessary.

http://www.doula.org.uk/

Mips

You sound more calmer and more rational that I was - and I managed! Twice! When your body goes into labour you will just go with the flow... you have other things to worry about

Enjoy your pregnancy - birth is the least of your worries, that's the easy bit !!!!

sassyblue

pawpurrs, bless you ALL mums are, especially first time mums but you definitely need to chat to your midwife, she may be able to organise a look round the hospital earlier than normal (that's done near the end of our pregnancies in our county). The birthing rooms are like bedrooms really, nicely decorating with lamps you can take your own music.

A home birth is an idea but you need to take into consideration how far from hospital you are, l don't think you can have an epidural unless you go to hospital??

Once the birth starts you'll be a mixture of fear and excitement at finally getting to see your baby and you'll be concentrating and breathing through the contractions, so you might not even have time to think about being sooooo terrified.

Good luck, you'll be fine honestly, it hurts but you get through it and it's sooooo worth it

emsywoo123

Pawpurrs, I am 34 weeks gone and I would say until last week I was dreading the birth also (even though I have done it before, but that was a planned C Section, hope to go naturally this time )

I am now so fed up with waddling, exhaustion, nothing fitting, sickness, heartburn, achy joints and everything else that goes with 3rd trimester I cannot wait!

In all seriousness, I have found the prospect of birth less daunting as I go further along. I think at some point there is a creeping realisation that he's coming out, and that's that really.

savingmummy

Every women is frightened in some way, some to the extreme where they opt to have a c section as the phobia is so extreme.

Definately talk to your midwife and remember if one is not helpful there is a team of m/w`s so keep speaking to the team until you find one you can open up too.

I was very scared too and by the time the due date came i was so excited about it all your body and mind goes into birth mode and totally takes over, but sadly i had to have sections with both my children which really let me down.

Jen151

sooz wrote: »

water births are amazing. I will never forget my babies swimming up to meet me.

aww thats so sweet Sooz!


Pawpurrs, congratulations! Like you i've always been terrified of this. (But now trying for #1) My best pal had her first baby last year and the labour was eight hours but she said because of the drugs her sense of time was warped and it didnt seem like that long. Dont know if that will be a comfort for you but it sounded good to me :rotfl:

Just think, its just one day. You can do it. You'll be great! And then you'll have your little angel to hold and all the good stuff to enjoy.

cloudy-day

CrowdSurfing wrote: »

Enjoy your pregnancy - birth is the least of your worries, that's the easy bit !!!!

So true!

Yeah it stings a bit (!!) but the first thing I said to DH after my 4 day labour was......when shall we have the next one!

Honestly you'll be so busy concentrating on getting the LO out that you'll forget everything else.

Lets face it, if it was really that bad then the human race would have died out years ago. :rotfl:

Make-it-3

Speak to your midwife and see if you can access some counselling during your pregnancy. I think we all feel scared to some extent - its an unknown, something we may not have much control over and that's before people start telling you their horror stories. A friend of mine had an extreme phobia of labour and after counselling it was agreed that she could have a planned c-section.

For me, getting informed has been crucial and also realising that labour is but a process in the journey of your baby's life, what counts is a healthy mother and baby at the end of it not how well you coped with birthing.