Life after bankruptcy?

savingwannabe

moo2moo wrote: »

OK now I'm going to show my age because I've never heard of Pogles Wood although I have seen the revamped series of both Andy Pandy and Bill and Ben as well as enduring death by BooBahs and Ninky Nonks. I'm a fully confirmed member of the Willo the Wisp and Jaaaamie and his Magic Torch generation.

I have the theme tune from Jamie going round in my head now. How am i going to work with that going on?!!!!

Aesop

((((((((((((((((((((((startagain, Nohope, Crumbling)))))))))))))))))))))) anyone else I missed.

you are all lucky! I live with a 3 year old... we have Peppa Pig, Dora the Explorer, Humphf (spelling), Timmy Time, Shaun the Sheep, Waybuloo, Thomas the Tank Engine, Charlie and Lola, In the Night Garden.....

and I have a running commentary walking down the road about Peppa Pig and Charlie and Lola. He repeats scenes from them! doing both parts!

startagain_2

NorthernLas wrote: »

SA - If you are able to go to the job centre with a book and phone the tax office from there (it is free for you and you get to read a book while you wait)

When I phoned I got a very nice lady who filled in what was needed on the phone. OK, it didn't stop the computer sending out more PAYE rubbish, but I was cheered up since she knew what she was talking about and I got money back from them as well!!!

NL x

Thanks NorthernLas but the jobcentre is 14 miles away and I don't really want to discuss my stuff in public - the phones are in reception. I agree, the helpline people are pretty good (when you get through) but the fact is that the codes were issued a week ago. My employer gets them immediately online but I get the documents a week later and too late to correct in time for my wages. Being paid weekly means weekly budgets with nowt in reserve....
And it always seems to be the fault of "the computer" not the human being entering the data. Funny that! :cool:
SA

ani_26

Ah well. Got over that bit of a blip, for now. The temptation is going to be there, now i know its there, i suppose, but common sense does prevail, when it tells me there is little point in tearing myself apart with something thats gone. So i'll have to resist the urge to look everyday and keep it to a minimum, just to check progress. Theres been too many reminders this week. I'll have to resist the urge to watch slime balls too. Urgh, made my skin creep. Getting pleasure from others. Just a job. No one really cares at all. Does'nt seem to have improved anyones career prospects either. Except slime balls. Urghhh. Maybe thats the way to be. Just like people at work yesterday. I got * d bigstyle by the ' boss ' for taking something that belonged to them. Someone else told me to take it, because it was theirs. They knew fine well who it belonged to. I don't understand this world where people deliberately lie, for what?. I actually thought it was funny that someone could do something so petty. But it will remain at the back of the memory bank, and i will never trust that person, for sure. I did'nt trust them in the first place, how come i walked so easily into the setup? Maybe it upset me more than i thought.


I was thinking positively yesterday. Maybe looking ro renew some of my hobbies. Its not that i've never had any interests. I'm feeling unfit now i can't go walking anymore. I did'nt realise how much weight i'd lost with the stress. Its time i got myself moving again. I'm not one for going to the gym, i'd rather participate in a sport, and anyway, why pay a fortune to go to a gym ? I never have. I prefer socially active sports. Well, thats saying something for someone who has become totally unsociable. I'm keen to join the badminton and the tennis club. Theres both round here. But of course i don't have the funds to join, just yet. Maybe something to look to, in the future. They are playing , almost every night of the week. Thinking about it, i need new sports shoes. But at least i've still got all my rackets. Maybe i'll be up and running by summer. Set a target. My first target. Get back into sports activity. You're never too old, are you? Its a state of mind. Try telling my body that. Got an email from the orchestra too. Bumped into a few people as well, who are always asking if i'm going back. Still not really listening to music, though. I was'nt really that interested when i was on nights. Music involves emotions, and maybe i'll never do emotions again. I'm not prepared to have emotional involvement or attachment, to a musical instrument,either. I won't become emotionaly involved with people, or with anything ever again. I even don't really have any emotional attachment to bloody car, although i do realise its true worth, eventually, even if not financially. I don't know why i started this now. What started off as what was is supposed to be positive, is just making me feel upset, and that, in turn, is a bloody emotion.


I should look forward not back, but the back still largely infuences the forwards. I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. Checking my bank account, as i do obssessively every day, i discovered to my shock, my bank account looked reasonably healthy, for a change. Got some pay yesterday, thank god. Does'nt mean i can spend any of it though. Still went into town, walked past all the shops, and did'nt buy a thing, as i do everyday. No spend, except for fare into town, as ever. I still dare'nt go food shopping, other than some basics today. Milk. Thats it, but i was given some freebies from work,yesterday, which were welcomed. I've got some proper meals for this weekend. I probably won't be able to eat them, because i'm not used to eating so much food. Never mind, whatever.

At least theres enough money to pay the dd that was due out yesterday,which would have wiped me out, and the bill i still have'nt paid from early december. Why am i already in debt? after going bankrupt? Well i'm not in debt in as much as i don't have credit cards, loans, mortgage etc. But i do have outstanding bills that i have'nt had enough money to pay. My outgoings are still more than my incomings, almost a year after bankruptcy. But at least i have enough , today, to not cancel the mot on wednesday. That was the main worry. I still have to get them to ring me halfway through the day, when they know how much its going to cost, so i can make an educated decision on what i can get away with and what definitely has to be spent. I should have enough, after the hit last year. Surely nothing major wants replacing, now. I know the clutch will go at some point, but the engine must be good for another 150,000 miles. They go on forever. Now i'm just being stupid. Just worrying about things that are'nt neccessarily going to happen yet.Still, if theres any money left in the bank after bloody car has done its worst on weds, i might pop th the supermarket, and do just a tiny shop, but thats all it will be.


I don't know how this has degenerated into how i'm feeling, now. I was feeling elated, yes elated, because i received some pay yesterday. But now rapidly approaching discharge, and the realisation that not a great deal HAS actually changed, one year into life after bankruptcy, other than i lost my home and almost everything i owned. As we are in the recession, i'm still in the cycle of never knowing how much i will earn or when it will be paid. Maybe i should have stayed on benefits, and with the realisation yesterday, i missed out on the opportunity to got for an eye test etc, whilst i was on benefits, but then, i could'nt have afforded to go for the eye test then, anymore than i can now.


Congrats to 3 dogs on your dro. I'm not sure what difference a dro is, to bankruptcy, but it must be a relief to you. Which reminds me. Maybe i should have a virtual party, soon, as its the only party i can afford. Trouble is, i don't even know what time i'm celebrating. Thats typical me. I don't know if you are discharged at midnight at the beginning or end of your bankruptcy date. I know i've read it often enough, but i still can't remember. Any way, when i find out, i'm going to stay up all night, just to watch my name disappear off the register, being the sad person i am. All alone, probably. But you are welcome to join me if you are still around late that night. But i still need to find out which night it is, because i'm not staying up for two nights. Mind you, is it worth it? Does your name magically disappear off the register? My feeling is that, just because you are discharged from bankruptcy, on the is register, does'nt mean your life is going to change. You can't ever erase the fact you've been bankrupt and lost everything. Some people may, but i know i won't. Its upsetting me now, this. I really did'nt intend to be feeling like this. I must pull myself together and go to work. Earn some money so i can start thinking, when will i be paid? Will i ever get straight and live some sort of normality again ? Life?

Aesop

Nohope, let us know when your party is and we will definitely try to join you.

As for the bills.... when I first came onto a reduced income, I contacted everyone and asked if I could pay by payment card and pay weekly, rather than monthly/quarterly. Most agreed and I found it more manageable.

ie, Water rates were £34 per month, and then I would divide by 4 and pay that amount weekly. Some weeks I might miss a payment, but because I was making a payment, they were ok.

Same with the TV Licence, water and electricity.

Is it worth talking to the companies that you owe money too and see if you can make some kind of payment arrangement?

For extra income, could you try Mystery Shopping (MS) or surveys?

3Dogs and I can refer you for surveys.

I used to get free eye test vouchers, if I come across any, will let you know.

As for the rest, I am not sure how much you know about the grieving process? the different stages? You need to remember you are still going through it, and will be for quite a considerable time.

It is perfectly natural to feel happy, have a great day and then suddenly feel down and that everything is no longer possible.

As for your hobbies, if you enter competitions, like the ones to win JJB sports vouchers or other sports companies, you could then "earn" vouchers to buy new trainers, etc.

I can't comment on the music. I know how it makes me feel, if I am low, I will put on moody music to match my mood.

once again ((((((((((((((Nohope)))))))))))))))))))))).

x

savingwannabe

Hey i will celebrate with you. Closer to the date, I am going to ask for your address and promise to send you a cake that you will have to eat!!!

Dont let the rotters at work get you down. They are pathetic. I work with people with similar attitudes. Schaudenfreude, utterly wasted energy. Dont you spend your time on them you have nice friends on here and good friends in real life too that you will have the confidence to get back in touch with over time. Go in do your job, focus on the good things and put the idiots to the back of your mind. You are better than them. We know that.

Well done on having money. I hope the work situation improves so you have a salary that will give you some security. For now though treat yourself a bit ok. Get yourself a nice treat that you want when you go food shopping. You have been through so much and must stop punishing yourself. I wish you could speak to someone in CAB or something so they can sort out your bills. I dont understand why you should have to pay them. That will be another shackle that is released.

Good luck my friend. Please be kind to yourself.

startagain_2

I wrote a hugeish reply to Nohope's latest offerings and the whole lot was wiped out as the forum went offline yesterday...... :mad:

It would probably have bored you all to tears anyway

savingwannabee "Schaudenfreude" ... wow, impresssive word whoever or whatever it is, I like it....

Nohope, let's get serious here. Time to stop battering yourself and live a little. If you take out everything that hasn't happened (and may not), everything that has happened (which you can't change now) and look at life on a day by day basis it will all become a bit clearer. Just think about getting through each and every day as it comes. A mini triumph as you not only get through a day but achieve something, anything that is just a bit more positive.

I am also having problems at work with one individual, a youngster who has been mismanaged and has got far too big for her boots. All well and good if I could just ignore her but she is one of those people who are secretive and undermining and unfortunately a liar.
But I need this job and I actually like it so I am going to try and work through it and not be the hothead that I have been in the past. Her problem, not mine.

One day, you will learn to trust again and as for emotions you are using them at the moment, albeit a bit negative....
But i know you have had some happier days recently and was actually making some little plans, it is only the house thing that has pushed it all back, but given time that will become a distant memory.

Where are you living at the moment, a rented flat? Just a thought but what about sharing? It could bring costs down and give you company. A friend of mine only has a small house but she rents out her spare room because she likes the thought of having someone else around. Not my cup of tea, I prefer my canine housemate, but just having a mini brainstorming session.

I hope you feel a bit better today and isn't it good that the board is back up? Speak to us soon and let us know that all is well....

Hugs

SA

savingwannabe

Hi Startagain, wise words as always, No hope cheered me up last night. I hope today is good for you all.

ani_26

Maybe i do have a sense of humour, That just got me thinking, because i did have cause to laugh, yesterday.

A neighbour came out to me as i was driving off, and asked me if i could park my car elsewhere, as their house shakes, when my car engine is running. Now thats hilarious. How petty. I wish thats all i had to worry about, But my car is parked on a private car park, nothing to do with my neighbours house. So where shall i park it? 5 miles away ? In your dreams. They were telling me first, before they go to the commitee. Well, theres not alot i can do about it. I can't park outside my garage, because someone else parks outside it. But i considered it too petty, to go to the commitee and complain about it. In fact i did mention it when someone else asked me to park there. But it fell on deaf ears, because i'm ' new ' around here. I don't like it here. Theres a nut holder outside for the birds, but you're not allowed to fill it with nuts. Someone complained about it. Someone complains about everything, around here.I can't see me making this my home. I always said, one of the things i would miss the most about where i used to live, was my neighbours. Everyone looked out for each other, up there. No nuts for the birds. Theres never any birds here, and thats something i do, miss. I would'nt be surprised if i received a letter for compensation for cracks in the walls of their house. As if.............................

The only way to look at it, is to laugh about it.

ani_26

Aesop wrote: »

Nohope, let us know when your party is and we will definitely try to join you.

As for the bills.... when I first came onto a reduced income, I contacted everyone and asked if I could pay by payment card and pay weekly, rather than monthly/quarterly. Most agreed and I found it more manageable.

ie, Water rates were £34 per month, and then I would divide by 4 and pay that amount weekly. Some weeks I might miss a payment, but because I was making a payment, they were ok.

Same with the TV Licence, water and electricity.

Is it worth talking to the companies that you owe money too and see if you can make some kind of payment arrangement?

For extra income, could you try Mystery Shopping (MS) or surveys?

3Dogs and I can refer you for surveys.

I used to get free eye test vouchers, if I come across any, will let you know.

As for the rest, I am not sure how much you know about the grieving process? the different stages? You need to remember you are still going through it, and will be for quite a considerable time.

It is perfectly natural to feel happy, have a great day and then suddenly feel down and that everything is no longer possible.

As for your hobbies, if you enter competitions, like the ones to win JJB sports vouchers or other sports companies, you could then "earn" vouchers to buy new trainers, etc.

I can't comment on the music. I know how it makes me feel, if I am low, I will put on moody music to match my mood.

once again ((((((((((((((Nohope)))))))))))))))))))))).

x

Thanks for that Aureol. A free eye test voucher would be really useful. I'm so cross i never thought about it, when i was on esa. A missed opportunity.



Nohope x