Life after bankruptcy?

Buffythedebtslayer

Its all good Nohope, no one knows who you are.

Write away xxx

savingwannabe

Writing is good. That is how i think about things. We believe in you. I hope you continue to write to us. I dont care what gender you are. You are a sweetie and i am sending you a hug because you need one.

ani_26

You could'nt fail to smile at that xx

There are lots of unbelievably good people on here. When you think of everything i've gone through already. This is an incredible site, in all ways.

ani_26

If you read this crumbling, good luck. It won't be half as bad as you think xx



Yuk. One of those days when you look out of the window, and it mirrors how you're feeling. I had a really strange dream last night. I dreamt i was going on holiday, but i'd only half packed my case, and i was trying to persuade someone to giive me a lift home, to get the remainder of my clothes. I have'nt been on holiday for almost four years, like may people here, probably. I guess its now really preying on my subconcious. Feel really tired again, today. But i found being on here, really draining, emotionally, taking me forever to reply, last night

I'm supposed to be going out tonight, to a work party that was organised ages ago. I don't remember the last time i went out. I've cut myself off from all the interests and hobbies i had, although i was trying to conjure the will to go and play in verdi's requiem soon.Try and get myself back into it again. I've always wished i could play the trumpet. That trumpet solo always sends shivers down my spine. I'm not listening to music, anymore, because i'm not out and about in my car. Music is good for the soul, but it also destroys my soul

I don't want to ruin someones night, tonight, feeling like i do, but then i've become expert at hiding my real feelings, so anyone can say anything to me, and i pretend i don't care. It does'nt really matter, when it does. I'll have to go. I tried to cancel, but i've still got to pay, when i'm trying to save money. But theres no point in wasting money. I can't even be bothered with what to wear.This is no way to live

savingwannabe

No Hope, i feel like this sometimes (actually most times) and I dread going out. But, with hindsight, i realise that having ventured out of my comfort zone I have learned something new - I have met new people, enjoyed a new taste or smell and sound. Remember Desiderata, be gentle and kind to yourself, you deserve new experiences after all you are a child of the Universe. You may not realising it but you are judging and punishing yourself by thinking of denying yourself those wonderful glimpses of life my friend and you are a part of it and have every right to be here.

NB I had better say here that this is a case of do as i say and not as I do! Good luck petal. It will be interesting to see what you learn tonight. I do like the way you write. Have you read the Catcher in The Rye?

swX

Aurora_emma

Hi Nohope. I hope you dont mind me lurking here too. Savingwannabe has said some wise words and I dont have anything clever to add, but I have been in some low places and know a lot of the emotions that you are experiencing. I won't bore you with those.

My oh was in a hellish financial state when we met- his ex had somehow persuaded him to take all the debts and her have the house, kids and new bloke. We were both in a bad place so have helped each other - first as friends as neither of us was in a fit state to have a relationship and then he moved in as my lodger. We worked together on tackling things and he is now at the end of his first year of a protected trust deed (scottish equivilent of an IVA) and he has been my rock and support and I have set up a business to give our new blended family a future. I know how lucky I have been finding someone to help me put myself back together, but don't give up will you. Getting out tonight will do you good (after 3 years I still havent quite got that socialising thing back I must admit) - I agree with savingwannabe about stepping outside of your comfort zone and the good it can do sometimes..

Is interesting what you said about music - it is my lifeblood and my healer, but at my very lowest it because unbearable too. I don't understand why really, but I kept on trying it and one day I could listen again.. then it was able to help me heal... I listen on my computer and ipod as I do housework when I don't get out to listen to it in the car. Sticking a radio on is good company anyway isn't it?

Take it easy on yourself and let us know how it goes tonight. x

ani_26

Desiderata. Its for other people, not for me. I remember the song, from childhood. Maybe having a couple of drinks had made me feel morose.But i am certain now, theres no future for me. The food was lovely. But i did'nt belong in the real world. Someone gave me a hug. Thanks so much for coming, i really appreciate it. I know you're having a bad time, and you're really upset. Empty words. Maybe, maybe not.You've no idea what i'm going through. Because no one would care about me enough to go to all this trouble. they have so many people that care about them, and yes, i've known you a long time too, although i don't really know you. I can't carry on feeling like this. The weight of all this, is still pressing down on my head. Everyone is happy, weddings to look forward to, and the like. What do i have to look forward too? A life still full of debt. Just got home and theres a letter from the advice agency, the first communication since court last week. i don't understand it. What you should do next. The only thing i was told to do, was get out in 42 days, basically. It is very important to keep up to date with your mortgage payments and any additional payments that the court says you have to make. There was no mention of any payments.If you have not been advised to make an appointment, please be aware you should seek urgent advice if your situatuin gets worse or you are threatened with court action again.Do not leave this until the last minute. ?????????????????????? How much b****** worse can my situation get. I'm now beyond caring if you take me to court again. I don't understand any of it. I'm still getting letters demanding money. All of this was for nothing. I'm still thousands of pounds in debt, and i know its my fault, my responsibility. Theres only one thing left for me to give you

ani_26

I feel really bad now for posting this, although it has been of some comfort to write it down Given how i'm feeling i think maybe i should'nt be making these thoughts public, as it is'nt fair on anyone, who may read it. Maybe i'll feel better in the morning, but then i realised, it is the morning

savingwannabe

Hello No Hope, I am glad you went out last night. Just leaving the house is good sometimes. This thread is yours, you are in command here and have control. You write down whatever you like. Writing is a good way to get things out of your system, the things you cannot and will not actually say to people. That's why i am here too and everyone else I am sure. MSE will help you in lots of ways. You are going through so much at the moment you cannot see it but writing it down is progress, it means you are expressing how you feel which is healthy.

All of your feelings sound perfectly natural. First, there is the disbelief, then a sinking realisation, vocalisation, then anger, then you move on and things get better. Not straight away but any progress is progress right now. This is horrible, unfair but you will see others have been there and though it feels awful right now you will move on. Have you heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? It is basic, (and flawed) but when your safety needs are compromised you find it hard to make plans, believe in yourself, trust. This is where you are now.

I am sure wise people are giving you advice and telling you that there is light at the end of the tunnel about all the technical stuff you are going through. Things will get better. And we are all here with you. Any time you want to say something, even if i am at work someone is always around so you do not feel so isolated. We share here. Shame we can't 'MSE' the World, no war, no hate, no nastiness, (ok the odd idiot troll), peace and happiness.

I am at work from 9-5 ish and will be thinking of you. I hope your day get's better. When it get's too much, focus on a dream you want, somewhere you want to go, some music you want to play, a book you wish to read, a meal you want to eat, someone you want to see - life has so many possibilities, you have an infinite number of things you can do but you must make yourself take those opportunities you deserve it my friend. Dont worry if it get's too hard, i only started dreaming about travelling again this year! I only started to listen to music a few months ago. My life is so much better for it. I hope this helps. Bless you my friend.

SWX

Aurora_emma

Just sending you a hug and hope your day is ok

x