Life after bankruptcy?

beanielou

I hope that you can move into 2011 filled with hope & the knowledge that things will get better xxxxx

savingwannabe

Please dont go. You have made it through such a difficult year. It can only get better now. Yes you are still numb who wouldn't be. I spoke to Steve about you last night. We thought the bad people had scared you away but they haven't, the cancer didn't, losing the house didn't, you are rebuilding your life my friend.

Miche, Angel, Mr B, many many other people have been and are still going through this and they seem stronger and happier this year. I wonder what your life will be like at the end of 2011. The trolls are gone, they wont pick on you - even they should know they went too far, please stay. I will miss you if you go. I believe in happy endings and i want to see yours. Have a good night. I know it is hard but if you like post something on Susan's new thread we are all posting objectives we would like to achieve. We are all going to work on it together so noone feels alone. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2952630

Happy New Year my friend, you made it.:kisses3:

ani_26

To be honest i hate making lists of anything, let alone objectives. I'm way too disorganised, to commit to anything. My objective is still to live from day to day, at the moment. The second objective is to find an objective, or should i say a real purpose or direction for myself.

savingwannabe

That's fine. you could commit to keeping your diary???? I am a pushy so and so aren't I?

I am slighty sozzled and rather ill please dont shout at me.

MatyMoo

Good to see you posting Nohope and you do seem a little more upbeat which is good to read

And it seems as though you are ending the year on a bit of high with money in the bank (albeit temporarily) and great news that you don't have to go through an ipa, ipo or bro. :T

I think it would be a great time to start a new diary, a new chapter. This one will still be here for you to return to and reflect upon

Wishing you peace and good health for 2011

Maty

savingwannabe

Hey Nohope Maty Moo was one of the people on the tv programme i think? cool.

ani_26

MatyMoo wrote: »

Good to see you posting Nohope and you do seem a little more upbeat which is good to read

And it seems as though you are ending the year on a bit of high with money in the bank (albeit temporarily) and great news that you don't have to go through an ipa, ipo or bro. :T

I think it would be a great time to start a new diary, a new chapter. This one will still be here for you to return to and reflect upon

Wishing you peace and good health for 2011

Maty

Thanks Maty x

Peace and good health for 2011 for you, too



Nohope

MatyMoo

savingwannabe wrote: »

Hey Nohope Maty Moo was one of the people on the tv programme i think? cool.

I was indeed

It was such an amazing thing to be a part of and I would not have missed it for the world.

startagain_2

Nohope,

I thought long and hard before I started writing this post because there is so much I want to say but I am worried that it will come out wrong and also that it is YOUR diary. I hope telling you of my experiences will help you see that there is life after BR.....

I am in my 50's now and have ended up alone in a rented HA flat with only a small dog for company.
My "downward" journey to get here saw me lose my house to my ex husband through an awful divorce and an inept solicitor representing me. He now happily lives there with the bimbo that he was carrying on with during our marriage. I moved up North to be nearer to my Dad who sadly passed away 4 years ago.

I couldn't seem to get a job anything like what I was used to doing in the South and ended up doing two jobs - Night and Day, just like you. That went on for a year, until I physically couldn't do it anymore. I found another job that paid better - I worked 6 days a week, sometimes up to 14 hr shifts, but liked it. I seemed to be really getting on well in the company until my ex-husband started making threats that if I didn't sign the house over he would cause trouble with my employers. I eventually went to the Police but they wouldn't or couldn't do anything. The stress led me to losing the job and of course the house as well, eventually.
For 5 years I lived in a small rented flat with druggies and ex prisoners for neighbours. Debts were piling up and, like you, at some points I could only see one way out. In April 2009 I was offered the flat I am in now and although it was very run down it is in a great location and was a great project for me to channel myself into. It also gave me a garden and the ability to get a dog and I rehomed a small terrier in Dec 2009 who has been my best friend and saviour through some very difficult times. My GP has been superb as well and she referred me to a psychologist who I have been seeing regularly (and still see) for 2 years and he has worked wonders turning me from a glass half empty to very nearly a glass half full person. When the next crisis hits in my life ( and it is always when and not if) he always talks me through it and shows me that I can get through and over it.
In Jan 2009 I was made bankrupt as I just couldn't see a way out of my financial woes. I too was absolutely on my own but had enormous help and support from this site. To be honest it was the best thing that I could have done and I got ED in July 2009.

Six years ago I started a job working for a very successful company in a fairly lowly position but did well and was promoted to a fantastic job. Until....... rumours started flying around about relocation and redundancies and became true. I also became unwell and in Nov 2009 had to have a major operation that saw me off work for nearly 3 months. When I returned it was to enter redundancy negotiations which led to me being made redundant in
July 2010.

It took me 3 months to get a job and I now do 2 part time jobs that pay my bills and give me a little over. They are vastly below what I could actually do skills wise but that is unimportant, paying the bills is what counts. I also have time to spend doing other things.... walking in the fresh air, making friends with the neighbours, taking in the world around me. Things that I didn't do before.

I have spent Christmas and New Years Eve on my own but have decided that I am now ready to try and find some new friends. Our local Salvation Army does Christmas Day lunch for those who are on their own - next year I am going to volunteer to help.
I could go on and on but I won't, except to say that YES, there is life after BR. I post on this site because I want to be debt free and stay that way. I don't have a Credit Card anymore - if I haven't got the cash then I can't buy something. It certainly makes you take stock. I have counted pennies for basics, you are not alone.

Do you really have to work these punishly long hours? On a short term basis, OK, but it can't be long term. Being exhausted will not allow you to think straight and this will get you down even more. Is there any way you can rethink your work? One job and benefits perhaps, just until you are feeling stronger, mentally and physically?

I have not had a drink for 3 months as I found that alchohol was acting as a depressant and making me feel even worse. I was ringing up an abusive ex partner while drunk always regretting it afterwards. As much as I love to drink a bottle or more of wine I feel better for being clear headed and certainly stronger.

I think I am just trying to say that it is easy to feel like you are disappearing into a bottomless hole when times are really hard but sometimes you need to take one or two steps back and rethink a lot of how and why you do what you do for you to realise that you can make some small changes and things will start improving. Baby steps..... and all that.

I am sorry if this has been a ramble, it is difficult to get sentiments and thoughts into words at times but please do not feel that you are alone. This site has become my support network for a long time and there are many people on here who are so good and caring.

I wish you well...

SA

ani_26

savingwannabe wrote: »

Hey Nohope Maty Moo was one of the people on the tv programme i think? cool.

I know. Its largely because i saw the programme, that i returned to the forum. It really hit home to me, as i made a programme too, although under rather different circumstances.