Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Why do i feel so tired today? Maybe its the weather?

Off to C* today with documentation, then there's nothing else i can do. Except wait.

Why do i feel like this again today? Went out last night, to "socialise" for the first time in an eternity, although i'm not sociable. Good film, although its difficult to do things other people take for granted. Like sitting and watching, my concentration levels being what they are. Its odd hearing other people complaining about what i consider to be " trivialities ", in their lives. I have a whole new perspective on things, now. Not surprising, really. Maybe i'm dwelling too much.


In my mind, i have a whole ream of things i want to do / must do. A whole list, miggy, yet i don't do lists. I don't have targets or goals, either. I can't say i'm going to do this or this by such and such. Its putting too much pressure on myself. Too much pressure to suceed / achieve, and failure, if i don't. Thats not the way it works, anymore. Today i have to go to c*. And anything else achieved is a bonus. One thing at a time.


The time is passing so quickly, and i take such an eternity to do anything, the time will have passed me by completely. I still need the time to start being, again.

I investigated the nt, yesterday. I will wait until my first visit before joining? It still seems an extravagance i can't afford myself. Even the nt has hit hard times, as they cut back on volunteers, miggy. It seems ironic, doesn't it, to cut back on volunteers? I know a couple of people whose services were no longer required, at my favourite site. I think i will make that my first visit. It will be the first time i've ever been able to visit, at my own leisure. There's just something about nt places, ( and for anything of that ilke, for that matter.) The going back in time. The peace and tranquility.


Things to do? Resting, chilling, walking, socialising, gardening, and somewhere along the line cleaning, unpacking? They are the bottom of any list / thoughts. Above all, i've got to keep my brain functioning.

miggy

You seem to have fitted a whole lot of new things into the past few days, or rather things you've not done for a while. Maybe that's why you're tired? Then back to the same old, same old... Nevertheless you're that much nearer getting it sorted than you were a week ago, and that counts for a lot. You ARE making progress.

So the NT is cutting back on volunteers? You would think that with people taking holidays nearer home etc., they would be the last place. Still, the economy's got to turn round some day.

If you haven't had enough of gardens, did you see in Martin's email that the Gardener's World mag (May edition) has 50% off vouchers for garden visits? The magazine is £3.60 which isn't cheap unless you would set it against the cost of gardens, but I thought I'd mention it just in case.

Hope today's visit goes okay. You could leave the unpacking - make room for plants?

Keep us updated.

ani_26

Just had a look on the thread. I never have before, ( probably because i've never had leisure time or money.)


Just looked at the free tennis, but surprise surprise, there's nowhere within a 50 mile radius of here. Besides, there's a net on the court 1 minute from here , but i've neither the energy, nor an understanding partner to play with. I've already asked, and it was suggested i start a tennis club. Under normal circumstances........................ The same for being a councillor........... I don't think they would cope with me being on the council. I've far too much to say


Will try and remember to have a look at the magazine, whilst i'm out today, although if its 2 for 1 offers, thats me out :rotfl:



Which reminds me, i was looking at the newspapers, ( looking not touching,) in the local newsagents, the other day, and within 30 seconds, the owner stormed up to me with, " are you going to buy a paper? "

NO, is the easy answer to that :rotfl:



Right, off to the c* now.

TTFN xx

ani_26

Maybe after the elation of receiving my esa, ( how sad,) i still feel so tired. I don't know what to do with myself. I've handed in the paperwork the council required. Now that is in the lap of the gods, too. The person who took the forms said it looks like you should get full hb and ctb. Yeah, but you can never take these things for granted, especially when they are out of your control. I should hear by the end of the week, but you can't take that for granted, either. My weekly esa doesn't even cover the weekly rent. Sigh

What's the date today? Four? days until p60 d day. I haven't received anymore. Where are they? Are there anymore? No matter. The amount of my earnings so far is around £6k. When you think, esa equates to £3692 over the annual period, add on hb and ctb, really, there's little incentive to go out to work in the first place. Is there? If you are on a low income, there's absolutely NO incentive to go out to work.

I must also make an effort to reclaim my mileage. It won't be much, but as they say, every little helps, and ta offered to help me. The only trouble is, it IS just that. An effort.


I started some more potting after going to the council. I'm getting quite stressed out about it. The novelty has worn off. Am i getting bored? I bought some more compost, and then had to go out and buy yet more compost, in the evening. I want everything done, now. I've had enough. Maybe i've overfaced myself. I've still so many seeds to plant. I achieved 6 more hanging baskets, a dozen quite large pots of sweet peas, ( i'm using the free pots i acquired from the shop, rather than more conventional methods,) and planted some more plants in the garden. Enough is enough. it all takes maintenance. It all needs nurturing and watering. And weeding. Yup. I've been neglecting the garden, with the potting, and weeds have grown in abundance, especially with all the rain. I'm not sure if i'm bored with the gardening now, or if i've just tried to do too much, and i now feel under pressure to finish all the potting. Whatever, i must finish it by the end of the week. Time is passing so quickly, and i'm travelling so slowly. Does it really matter if i don't finish it by the end of the week? Another letter arrived stating they felt alot was due to my personality. Do you think i can live with my personality? I wonder what they mean by that?

ani_26

I forgot. I looked at the gardening magazine and it's as i suspected. They are 2 for 1 offers. Not much use to singletons. Its the same with many offers, i find. I don't want 2 or 3 of this or that. I want a reduced price, for one person.

ani_26

O M G

I've had some money hit the account which is overdrawn and supposed to be closed. I'm now in the black again, but i've lost what must have been a tax rebate. I haven't received the other tax rebate i was expecting.


I suppose its a debt which had to be repaid, but it was a non priority debt. More phone calls.

MatyMoo

I know they can't take benefits to clear an overdraft if it leads you vulnerable, not sure about tax rebates. Maybe a mooch about the benefits board to find out?

Hiddenidenity

Hope all is ok xx

miggy

Hi Ani, any news? What happened about the tax rebate?

My news - I've found how to make ginger ice cream. I shall now bore everyone with it.

Hope you're okay?

ani_26

Thanks all xx

Its probably fair to say, i'm not ok.

First off, i managed to ascertain it wasn't a tax rebate. It was pay for a job i did 6 months previously, and both i and the company, seemingly forgot about it. No matter. The bank took it, and won't refund it to me. Fair do's, although they are not a priority debt.

The other news which has devastated me. I received a phone call regarding my hb and ctb. That was quick. Suffice it to say, they are only giving me a small amount of each. £32 hb and £4 ctb ( i think,weekly.) I thought the whole plan was to have your rent and council tax paid for you, leaving you with your esa for everything else? No matter. By the time i've had to pay the majority of my rent and council tax out of my esa, there's nothing left. Nil income as wr, said. Nothing left to pay bills, gas electric, water rates, everything else, debts, food? Well thats a laugh. My esa covers the rent and ct and nothing else. I don't know where to go from here, now, unless i don't pay rent and ct? But i'm already having major problems with the arrears, which i thought would be covered by hb and ct. Horrid person fron council told me in no uncertain terms, they are serving me with the notice, which means another trip to court and a £200 fee out of my pocket. Wr says the judge will laugh them out of court and i'll only have to pay it back at £1 a week, but i shouldn't be having to pay court costs, in the first place.Its ridiculous. Anyway. There isn't a spare £1 a week, to repay them.


I've spent the last day considering what i'm going to do. It may seem stupid to get my affairs, ( such as they are,) in order, But i can't remember the name of my solicitor who has my will. I'm going to start clearing this place, just chuck everything out. Its worhless. I know a shop who would be delighted with my furniture. And i guess well, try selling ani. Its strange. Its the first time i've considered, afterwards. I've never bothered about the aftermath, before.

What is the point in living, if you have no disposable income. How can you? Wr says all i can do is appeal. Again? One appeal after the other. They're nutters, the council. The system always wins.