Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

So . Its back to waking up at 4.00am.
Now maybe i'm thick ,or naive, or just plain stupid. But i really do not understand. Just leave me alone.
So. I've had my county court order. The court orders the defendant gives the claimant possession of **** on or before ****.
So why are the claimants solicitors now sending me letters every other day saying - that a warrant to enforce the Order of Possession on the above property has been issued. This will be executed by the Court Baliff on **** at ****. I thought my property had already been repossessed. Obviously not. So, i'm going to receive letters every day for a month now? Thank god you don't have my telephone number, otherwise i'd be receiving endless calls, too. Well i'm sorry. I will not be able to attend the event They are still asking me for an astronomical amount of money.Bankruptcy, bankruptcy, bankruptcy. I've stopped coming on this board because i'm sick of those two words. Bankruptcy, repossession, bankruptcy, repossession.

For those of you who who ask what bankruptcy is like. It never bloody goes away

I had a really weird dream today. I dreamt that * * , offered to put me in a hotel, so that i could get away from it all. A nice safe cocoon. I wish.

ani_26

I'll bet the claimants solicitor is fast asleep in bed, right now. I suppose thats what they are paid astronomical amounts of money for. To make people like me, feel like this.

But then i suppose i've got to remember its me that got myself into this mess, in the first place.

savingwannabe

No Hope stop beating yourself up ok. Please stop tormenting yourself. I know it is part of the grieving process and you have to get it out but be angry at them and not yourself ok. What happened to you could happen to anyone of us. Anyone who works is 3 steps away from losing everything. You were incredibly unlucky and sometimes life can be unfair. Be angry that is fine but do not blame yourself. Someone who knows about bankruptcy can tell you what the letters mean, they are stupid letters you are worth much more than this and you will move on. Listen to Miche, Angel, Crumbling and all the people that have been through it ok. Big hug, sw.

ani_26

I want to save this post in my diary, as well.


Ah well. Maybe i SHOULD start looking forward, now , instead of looking back.Take those small steps i told other people to take. After all, i have been living day to day, for so long, now. Thats still the best i can hope for, right now, but at least i'm doing it.

I can't change certain things. Like harassment, so maybe i should, just ignore it. I may be bankrupt, but i know the final chapter won't be written until the house is sold. I'm not so far away from AD , now. That, is almost passing by, unnoticed. I'm still waiting to hear if i will receive a bro. Well, theres nothing i can do about that, now. I've been completely honest.

Back to work, tomorrow. I'm dreading it.Back on the treadmill. Simpy because, i suppose others would say, i'm a workaholic. But i'm probably a ' aholic ' about everything i do. I've got to start setting my alarm again. I've not done that for two months. But funds are none existent, now. Huge bills to be paid from my old home. Realistically, i won't receive any pay from any work, until at least the middle of december. That sounds a long way off. Its going to be a real struggle. Just as well i don't ' spend ' at xmas. Maybe i'll start to feel more normal, once i do return to work. The one main reminder of all of this, is of course, i no longer have my home. Oh, i know its only bricks and mortar. I've got to redefine my home. But i do miss the countryside. But then, i knew that would be the thing i would miss the most.

But everyone is different. Everyone is an individual. Everyone has a different coping mechanism and a different concept, perception, of the way they view things. Today is the start of a new week. I suppose i should say its the start of my new life. I can't quite find 100% enthusiasm, behind that statement, but i AM getting there, undoubtably. But i am me. There IS no ever keeping me down. Just like the song. I'm made of sterner stuff. But few people will relate the real me, with my innermost thoughts, to the person, you have to be, to survive in this world.

Whether you believe bankruptcy has a stigma or not, maybe few people know anything about it, have had any dealings with it, for them bankruptcy is just a word, with little meaning, when they find this forum, like i did myself, not so long ago. It feels like i've been here an eternity now, but of course, it is'nt. But how would i have coped without this forum? On the occasions when yet something else ' hit ' me, and i had a reply on here, to bring me back down to earth. Just knowing someone cared enough to take the time to reply. Thanks to gb too. Every morning without fail. The first thread i look at. You've no idea how some of the images have helped me. The fact, too, that one person cares enough to make me a cup of tea, be it in this virtual world. However, my world is not virtual. It is real. Be it very lonely, so sometimes the virtual world encompasses the real world. Its a secure world on here to some extent. I can speak how i'm feeling, which is what i've done,all along, be it for better or worse. What i think of as my secret, anonymity, affords me the luxury to be true to myself, whether others like it or not. This thread is probably the first place that others, like me, maybe stumbled across and thought, phew, theres somewhere you can actually go and talk freely about bankruptcy. I had'nt lurked for ages, like others say they had. Oh no. Not me Straight in with both feet, because thats the sort of person i am. I was really on my uppers, too. The journey has been a long, fraught one.

As ever, once i start writing, i start rambling on about a load of nonsense, until my emotions feel so drained, that i'm unable to write anymore. Onwards and upwards, hey? Hopefully i might hear some good news about my car today, fingers crossed.

savingwannabe

No Hope you dont write nonsense. It is straight from the heart and as honest as it gets. You help me in many, many ways and others too you can tell as we are all still reading. Good luck at work. The uniformity of a job has its own protection sometimes it will keep you diverted away from the bad times and you can be anonymous there as an employee. Good luck with dear car. From your writing today it sounds like you are moving to the next stage away from the shock . There will be good and bad days but enjoy the good days. You deserve to.swX

ani_26

What a day. Been for a ' medical' today, as thats what you have to do when you're on benefits. It was very enlightening. They would make a great counsellor, they definitely gave me food for thought, although i'm more concerned that i'm going straight back to work, in the deep end, and i've not really had time to ' recuperate ' after what i've been through. After all, its still only less than two weeks since my house was repossessed. But at least i can talk about it now. I'm still concerned one small thing might come unexpectedly, out of the blue, at any time, and the floodgates will open, and never stop. I still have'nt let it all out, yet. Maybe i never will. Although the floodgates did open, when i saw my car.

Good news today on the car front. I received a phone call this afternoon from the accident repair place. Its going to be repaired. YAaaaaay. Something to be happy about, at last. It will take a week to repair, they say, but i'm so pleased it will be back on the road again. This plastic box i've got now, just does'nt have the same oomph about it. In fact i could'nt find the car in the car park today, because there were so many, exactly the same colour.. Without a word of a lie, one parked next door but one, either side. Trouble is, i had to ask the owner of one of them, how to put the lights on main beam. In a totally illogical place. Note to myself. Don't attempt to drive a strange car at nightime. Now this will probably seem totally illogical to most of you. But i have almost exclusively driven one model of car for the last 20 odd years. Simples. On off,start, one switch for lights, another for indicators, occasionally a heater, very often an on off shower, electrics intermitently working, or not at all. Oh, but what a joy. Yes, i'm getting my car repaired.

Its a shock to my system, now i've got to start thinking about returning to work. I must try not to let myself get too stressed out about anything. After all, its going to be a slow recovery process. I have'nt really had the luxury of taking some serious time to ' heal '. That will have to wait until xmas, when i think i might just go to bed for a day or two, and pretend nothing exists, outside.

beanielou

Hope all goes well tomorrow.
Good news on car

Woowoo

Great news on the car, I hope it's the start of better things coming your way x

savingwannabe

I am dying to know what your car is like. You love it so much. When we have a reunion you have to bring dear car ok or a picture. I am so happy you are getting it back some good news at last. Hooray. I hope you are feeling better today and that tomorrow is better.

miggy

So glad to hear the car is soon to be mended!
All the best for the return to work. You may find as I did that although you don't feel ready, after a day or so it's helpful to have that routine and distraction. Hope it goes well, anyway.