Life after bankruptcy?

neilscot44

Nohope wrote: »

But i will find it difficult to give up without a fight. That car means everything to me. No one can understand my affinity with it. Its part of my soul and my true personality.

OOh that is exactly how i felt with my car NH, mine goes on Saturday.
Ive not been on much.. so much hassle going on.. Ive been signed of "work" my relationship broke up on the 8th.. after 9 years.. strange we got together on the 8th as well..
Ah well off to clear out my car today of contents..
Wonder what other crap will arise today
chin up!

Miche*

Hi nohope. Remember I've been there done that. I still have my house keys. Northern Rock didn't want them, infact they weren't getting their hands on them but that's another story for another thread.

I don;t know when i'll get rid of them or why I've still got them. Thing is they don't bother me. Sat there. Nope, not now. it's only just over a year Nohope. Just a year.

I wanna scream to you, "think positively, you're beating yourself up" but you can't see that just now so there's no point. It will get better but you don't want to hear that too.

If you wanna fight for your car, fight for the blimmin' thing, if you don't, then don'tbut don't put it in the same box as to what you're feeling with BR and repossession. Thats a different bit of life giving you a kick.. fingers up to it and make it work to your advantage yeah?

Insurance payout? I really don't know but if your car has been exempt, you need a car simple. Surely the OR's office won't expect the money for the car. You know where to ask don't you? Down on BR. So much info on there, you'll get your answer quick sharpish.

Before I log off, I don;t remember that first week in my rental house either. It's a blur, must have been a major upset for my memory to kaput it, don't envy you but you'll gradually get 'different' feelings about it.

Take care of yourself

So_Sad_Angel

Nohope wrote: »

............There really is no purpose, anymore. I've lost it all. I've lost my inner being. It will be light soon. Another day. What is life?

Hi NH

Hope you got some sleep in the end.

I really admire your strength throughout all this adversity & I am glad that you are begining to share your inner feelings rather than retreat into solitude....that is really positive & therapeutic for your wellbeing. You have many friends on here & we all care about you.

Someone sent this to me when I was at my darkest hour.....(if you only have mobile internet then maybe you can`t see youtube but this is James Taylor & Carole King - You got a friend)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWQUp5BI2Ec&feature=related

Music means different things to different people but I send this as it reminds me of the Derbyshire hills...they were my friends when I was at my lowest & they would call me to get out in the fresh air & shrug off my troubles....(although I had many a battle with Rushup Edge, Mam Tor & that damn Nab nearly finished me off:eek::eek: )...I shall be up there soon so will get a photo & post it to make you smile ( hopefully).

Take care....be strong

Angiexx

ani_26

That was bad, really bad. I should'nt have let someone else affect me like that. But my emotions are still so volatile. When will they ever stabilise?When will it ever all come to an end? Not until the house is sold, and that could be an eternity, judging by the fact they have'nt seemingly repossessed the house yet. I just want it sold now. Finito. Get rid of the ball and chain, still chained around my ankles. I'm going to be discharged, before that ever happens. But i'm not discharged, really. Not in real terms.

Theres nowhere to walk, around here, but i knew that, anyway. The neighbours seem nice enough, though. Although maybe they are just being nosey. Another one introduced themselves, today. At least its a pleasant area. Almost like a village, for ' town ', in that respect. I've evened out again in some respects today. At least real lows, are followed by more logical, moments. I've got to re enter the real world soon. From this surreal world i've been living in, for so long, now. Back on the treadmill, and i'm not going to be able to keep up with it. Back to wondering who knows exactly what i've been through. How much gossip has spread? I know some has, even though i've hardly spoken to anyone about my secret world. A secret world of bankruptcy, repossession, and the rest yet to follow. Ah, that. Maybe i'll just let it pass by, unnoticed. Who knows? I don't, yet. How am i supposed to have a normal conversation with people at work, and in the outside world,when they know nothing of what i've been through? I feel so transparent. This shell of a body. Is there any soul left in here? How do i rediscover me. Who the hell is me? Who am i ? Theres nothing left

ani_26

Its funny. I've just been reading snippets of other diaries i'm following. Maybe i'm feeling cynical today. Or maybe i'm just being, i don't know? It would be good to think you can read this or that book, study this or that principle, apply this or that theory, in the process of self help, self survival, debt freeness, whatever. Oh god i'm really cynical today.What a load of *.......

No. Theres only one person can dig oneself out of a hole. A few kind words help along the way, it has to be said. It all comes from within. Strength of character. I've got an abundance of that, have'nt i? Arrogant * How much deeper do you have to dig? I want to just be ' normal ' now. No mentions of bankruptcy and repossession. Its still dominating my life. I want to wake up one morning, without it even crossing my mind.

Angiepange

Nohope wrote: »

I want to just be ' normal ' now. No mentions of bankruptcy and repossession. Its still dominating my life. I want to wake up one morning, without it even crossing my mind.

Hi Nohope

I think that day will eventually come for you Nohope.

I am 15 months past Bankruptcy and it still comes into my mind on a daily basis, however it doesn't dominate my thoughts like it used to.

Angie x

savingwannabe

No hope I am pleased that you are working. It may help take your focus away from what has happened. Originally i was a bit cynical about Hector's book but you know what? I love it. I will try to watch the Shawshank Redemption based on Frit's recommendation too. Sometimes it is nice to try new things. Anyway have a good day ok and be kind to yourself.

ani_26

Been back to the house again today. I still don't feel anything. Its strange. Nothing at all. I can walk in and not feel anything at all. I should'nt be able to walk in. Its odd ,to say they were so keen to get their hands on my home, nobody seemingly wants it now. Except my neighbour. They are dying to get their hands on it, so they can own the whole village. C'est la vie. I do miss the countryside, though. Its like my emotions have been turned off. Theres an on, off switch, and i'm in limbo

I got a brand new shiny car today. Thats why i decided to go back. Whilst i had the huge luggage space. Might as welll make the most of it. A shiny metal and largely, plastic car. Its like driving around in a plastic bucket. It even smells of plastic, too. Lovely. Won't go uphill either, oh,no. Blimey, what do you have to do? Theres something seriously wrong with me. Its only a bloody car. But my car has a personality all of its own. Identical to mine. Its got a soul. It does'nt drive itself. You have to drive it. Thats part of the whole experience.

Another assessor just been. he says as long as the cost of the repairs are less than the value of the car, it will be repaired. Looking hopeful? He is going to look on the internet for another one. You'll be lucky. I've already looked. There really is something wrong with me. But maybe its because i've lost everything else, and its the one part of me, i've got left.

savingwannabe

Hey No Hope. You are over the worst i hope but still down which is entirely understandable. Take it a step at a time. You will get there petal. It is blooming windy outside and pitch black i hope you are having a cup of hot soup and are warm. Start thinking of things you would like to do. Focus on little goals to keep yourself going. New walks you can take close to where you live. Nice tv programs you can watch if you have a tv. Have you made friends in the new job? Little things ok. And remember all the friends who are here thinking of you. Bless you.

So_Sad_Angel

Fingers crossed for the car NH....I know how much it means to you.

I felt nothing either when I went back to my old house after I gave up on it (I managed to sell mine last minute) but I can so identify with that numbness & `matter of factness` feelings. In a way that is good as you have already moved on & can go back without getting upset.

I pass my old house every single day (on my way to work) & still feel nothing. I realised afterwards that it is just bricks & mortar....its only a home because you make it so.

Enjoy the shiny little box that you get to drive around in...maybe go for a drive to clear your head....after these last few weeks you need a break even if its only a day trip.

Have a good weekend.