Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

miggy wrote: »

Scented leaved geraniums? Ani, you know someone who has two large ones of those and often takes cuttings. Personally, I think they smell of soap though. Much prefer the smell of apricot-coloured pansies: I wonder if they're they same smell as the violas you found?

Maybe i should take up the offer? Even pdl companies know where i live, now.

I have some apricot-coloured pansies, ( i nearly said flavoured, there.)

ani_26

Now what to do?

Still not had bath. Realistically, it takes me all day to take a bath. Just received letter from dla stating they can't give me a decision on my claim yet. I'm not surprised, as i need a decision on esa, first. The fact the psychiatrist signed me off as i'm not on medication, won't help my case, either. Maybe i should have said, just drug me up to the eyeballs. Continue with no awareness of anything. Yeaaargh

Pdl co has tracked me down. Just received a letter. . 7 days to pay before they sell it to a dca. Haven't i been here before, although not with pdl co's. Wro not in today, so i can't get advice. The thought of dc's coming to my door again, followed closely by baliff's. They can't have what i don't have. Except ani. Have to start parking elsewhere, soon. They've been told i've now no income. It just feels its right back to square one again, and i have only one answer to coping with stress. What is wrong with me that i can't cope with stress?

miggy

I don't cope with stress either despite having some support - I think everyone has a limit to what we can take (not always what we think we can take but you know better than most where it can take you). A little bit of stress can be helpful but we aren't meant to live on it. It does things to you.

Get Ani parked elsewhere for your peace of mind.

I have just found a handful more seed packets. I need a field not a garden. Did you ever try sprouted seeds for salad? I think we discussed it once. I'm going to sow some tomatoes: better late than never.

ani_26

miggy wrote: »

I don't cope with stress either despite having some support - I think everyone has a limit to what we can take (not always what we think we can take but you know better than most where it can take you). A little bit of stress can be helpful but we aren't meant to live on it. It does things to you.

Get Ani parked elsewhere for your peace of mind.

I have just found a handful more seed packets. I need a field not a garden. Did you ever try sprouted seeds for salad? I think we discussed it once. I'm going to sow some tomatoes: better late than never.

That post just made me cry, miggy. I know it shouldn't.

Maybe i've thrived on stress to a degree. We all need a certain amount of stress. But to the extent where it does things to you. No

I'm no good with plants other creatures eat before i do.

ani_26

I can't describe how i feel now. Just, i don't know. It just seems to me there is only going to be one ending. The only way out of a situation i can't change or cope with. Thats how it feels, anyway.


I remember reading that story of the old couple who ended it all, a while back. And the people who posted, saying nothing is ever that bad. How people can't understand when people reach their limits. I can't cope with even the thought of debt collectors starting to come round here.There's nothing they can do except take ani. I don't have any income, and it looks unlikely i'll receive the benefits i've applied for, in this economic climate.My debts aren't huge, only between 1k - 2k, all told. I'm not even sure, because i try not to think about it. But they're huge debts for someone who has no income, so the impact is the same. Ironic, if you think about it. I guess most people take home at least 1k - 2k per month. Just a months wage. It doesn't matter, if you don't have that sort of income. Realistically, i'm guessing my income will be what? around £260 per month, on benefits. I don't know how to work the system, maybe, like others do, and neither do the people helping me. I've got pains in my chest this afternoon, something it has to be said, i've not had for a while. People keep going on about how much progress i've made in the last week or so. Progress? Really? One step forward, two steps back. I've managed to keep the thoughts under control to some extent, but they too, are like an old shoe. There to comfort you in times of need. I think its inevitable when someone has these thoughts to this extent, and such a degree of intent, that it IS inevitable. What will be, will be. I read a blog by this woman who spent 10 years trying. Of course, maybe many don't take it seriously. You have to know. I know several musicians who have. I sometimes wonder if there's something in the psyche or mind of musicians, which makes them particularly susceptible, if thats the right way to say it. I've often thought that of super intellingent people, too. I'm sure their brains just can't cope with things the way other people can. Completely on a different planet, as it were. All i know is, i've had enough. Debt collectors, debt collectors, debt collectors. These days i can't even read, let alone respond to many threads on mse, whether they're about debt, money saving, or whatever. Its all about the same thing, but when you reach the place where i have, nothing matters anymore. Ultimately, there's no one there to help you when you need it most.

miggy

*Hand reaches out from under landslide of seed packets and passes tissues.*

Sorry, I didn't mean to set you off. Hope you're okay now?

Maybe this is a good reason for having plants? Generally they are more relaxing than stressful, though I will make an exception for ivy which is indeed a root of all evil.

I have the same problem that you do with things that other creatures get to first. I asked a colleague how she managed to grow veg and she said she uses lots of slug pellets, but that's not for me. I don't have too many qualms about killing slugs with salt though. However, there are still mice that nibble shoots and cats and blackbirds that turf them up. Am considering going to camp in the Eden project.

The sprouting seeds, however, are protected as they go in a jam jar or similar and just require rinsing and shaking for a few days.

I'm typing with one finger - two max. Can't cope with this keyboard! How ever do people pick up speed on a laptop? (Even this one which has nice big clear keys). Can you tell I used to type for a living? In those days, though, there were wrist rests, chairs and monitors adjusted to me personally and everything ergonomically pleasing to the nth degree (except they could have done away with most of the periferals if only they had a desk the right height for me in the first place). Moan, moan. Okay, I'll shut up for now, sorry to bend your ear.

Boo to the stuff that causes stress and doubly so to what it does to the body and soul. I will save you some smelly geraniums, though I think mine are the girly-pink flowered ones so maybe I should put you down for a second lot of hardy blue ones? Or white? The white ones are beautiful, and flower earlier than the others.

ani_26

So much causes stress at the moment. Amazing how you can't get a council property, even when you've been homeless for years. What is this country, life and people in general, coming to, or is it just me. Maybe its just me. I just don't belong on this planet. There's no place for me, anymore. I can't cope.

miggy

My post must have crossed with yours, Ani, sorry.

{{{hugs}}} it's a creaking, crazy system, yet you are in the house. How did that happen? I'm not sure, but somewhere along the line, you fell through a crack in the impregnable system and got yourself a house.

£1,000 - £2,000 a month is less than I take home but then I have DH's income too.

I'd miss you if you weren't here. Saving the plants for the day we work out a way for me to send them. {{{hugs again}}}

Aesop

ani, wish I took home 1K every month. I get half that and all my money goes on travel, bills, food, and occasionally socks or shoes for me and DH and DS.

Where I live rents are very high and it is not like you get a massive amount for your money, damp, holes, mice, cold, badly installed baths, etc. I am not going to go on.

The grass is not necessarily greener anywhere else. Most of us fix a smile on our face and plod on, regardless of whether we are crying, screaming or whatever inside.

Aesop

miggy, I am a touch typist.

Learnt the old fashioned way at school, with a real typewriter (showing my age), computers the size of a room. Used carbons in those days! urgh what a mess!

you get used to the laptop. not the same as keys are flat, and my RSI is more prone to rise because of that, but you do get used to it, like anything.