Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Right. I've officially finished work for the night. Thats me, over and out. I've an early start, tomorrow.

I think the only reason i thought it was worth pursuing, was the fact we we stood directly underneath cctv when it happened. I knew the cctv was there. They didn't. You couldn't get a closer view, for sure. The only problem being, the box? which downloads the cctv footage wasn't working today. It remains to be seen from the footage and the persons ' record ' , what chance there is of any prosecution?


With that zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz xx

miggy

Ani, that's awful, about the assault I mean. Are you hurt? Please do keep an eye on yourself and get any damage checked by a doctor or A&E. Apart from its being evidence on your behalf, there is the possibility that something may come to light after you 'stiffen up' overnight. Hopefully not, though.

Black peas... of course, I think you told me before.

Does this mean an end to lists? Well:

1. I will have to think about that
2. I am list dependent
3. Lists have their uses.
4. They can also be very annoying

We've had lots of ladybirds here too - someone was counting them on our gate post the other day. I think there were 17.

Look after yourself.

ani_26

I forgot. Thanks again for the poem, miggy X

I shall take this with me, for the following week. I love it

ani_26

miggy wrote: »

Does this mean an end to lists? Well:

1. I will have to think about that
2. I am list dependent
3. Lists have their uses.
4. They can also be very annoying

Thankyou, i will find you a pebble, and one day i wil give it to you.

SazM030306

Sorry to hear about the incident Ani! I hope you are ok and the retard gets his just desserts xxx

miggy

ani_26 wrote: »

[/LIST]






Thankyou, i will find you a pebble, and one day i wil give it to you.

A pebble? For me?! Not sure my brain can cope this late at night.

miggy

How are you today Ani? I hope there aren't too many bruises etc.

ani_26

How am i?

Probably in a cynical frame of mind.

It seems likely the person who committed the assault will get their knuckles wrapped, ie a caution. The police are looking at the cctv footage and putting together the evidence, but if its their first offence, they will ' get off ' scott free, such is life. Largely, you can treat anyone how you like and get away with it, but we all know that.

Just another of those incidents to go to the back of the memory bank vault.

ani_26

Its a year tomorrow, since i started this blooming stupid diary.

I don''t really want to talk about it, because the memories come flooding back. I've never read through the whole of my diary, but i do know how personal and emotional it was to me, at the time i was writing it. It meant everything to me, losing my home. In spite of those people who kept saying move on, get over it , blah blah. They weren't me. They aren't me. It was my home and it was where i intended spending my retirement.

I knew it wasn't a good idea to post.

Because if i start talking, thinking about it, it upsets me.Takes me back to the place i was, exactly a year ago.

Back into the memory vault.

Financially things haven't changed since before bankruptcy. When all those people say be positive, youv'e got rid of your debts. But only temporarily. I knew this was the case. I knew if i couldn't afford my mortgage, i'd never be able to afford rent. To be able to afford to live. What do you do if you can't earn enough money, and there is little help from the state? The state which you have supported for decades, which fails certain sectors of soceity?

There is always money available, even to an ex bankrupt. So i'm back in the never ending debt spiral. Already heavily debt, with little chance of repayment of apr's of up to 3000%. I can never clear the balance, because i only ever end up paying the interest. A never ending cycle. I feel quite numb to it all, now. I'm so used to it. Worrying how i'm going to pay bills, from day to day. I haven't even bothered to clean my credit files. Whats the point at this point of life? They are already shot at again, anyway. How are you supposed to live, when you don't have enough money to live? I'm in a passing state. I know its inevitable i'll end up " living " on the street, or taking option b. Maybe thats why no one knows who i am. Because when i do take option b, its for real, and no one will know. Or care, for that matter.

I went to my parents grave last week.I don't get chance to visit, because i live so far away. I didn't realise its so long since i'd been. I thinks its only the second time i've visited, in ten years. I can never remember when my mum went. I can only remember by looking at the date on the gravestone. Its almost 10 years now. I had no idea. She would have been 91, now. Is it really that long?


I've always had a notion of " going home ". I realise, i don't have a home, anymore. I don't have anywhere i feel i belong. Nothing ever stays the same. You can look back, but thats all you can do. Saw the b*y stupid freezing cold swimming pool where i learned to swim, all those decades ago. When you go back to these places, you just see them how they used to be. They all have memories, be they good or bad. I can't see the computer screen.



So. Only one thing hasn't changed. After travelling the world fairly extensively, i realise my favourite place of all time, is right here in the uk. But then, it always was my favourite place. Its never changed. Its just a place of outstanding natural beauty. If i had the money, i could spend a few days there. I would love to do some serious walking and birdwatching. Whats the point in having unachievable thoughts? I could never save £100 for a few days break.£100. Its such a relatively small amount, isn't it? 9 months into the year, and i can't even save £2 coins. My pot still remains empty. A child, has more savings, than i. Money makes the world go round. Its true. You can't live without it, for sure. Theres definitely a distinction between the creation of wealth, and living below the poverty line. Still. I still have my integrity and intelligence. Don't i?


Miggy. I got you a present. And you too Firewalker, because i hope you would learn something from it. Sadly, it didn't cost shedloads of money. In fact, it didn't cost anything at all. But they say its the thought that counts. And there are more than just thoughts, in my presents.


Whatever anyone says, sometimes however hard you try, the impossible just isn't possible.

Hovel_lady

ani_26 wrote: »

How am i?

Probably in a cynical frame of mind.

It seems likely the person who committed the assault will get their knuckles wrapped, ie a caution. The police are looking at the cctv footage and putting together the evidence, but if its their first offence, they will ' get off ' scott free, such is life. Largely, you can treat anyone how you like and get away with it, but we all know that.

Just another of those incidents to go to the back of the memory bank vault.

I have very strong feelings about people who get cautions especially for something more serious like what happened to you but I have no way of making it polite enough to write here.

((Hugs)) xx