Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

miggy wrote: »

WARNING: long post!



Click the orange speech bubble at the end of each post you want to quote, then when you've clicked them all, click 'Post Reply'. Then yell for help.

I think there is a way of dragging sections of text if you want to comment in between sections (as I'm doing now) but I don't know how - only that I seem to have done something like it by accident, LOL. I copy and paste the bits at the beginning and end of the quoted passages (in square brackets) to separate my comments from the quoted sections, which is tedious but it works.

A very good alternative is to change the colour of the text so your replies stand out.



You lucky so and so! You really have been to some fantastic places! I've never been in a yacht but I remember a canoeing holiday when I was a teenager which was on a smaller scale but again - just me, the canoe and the big wide water - oh, and some mountains. Lovely. I wonder if it's one of those skills you never forget? I love boats, I'm usually the one on deck making the most of every moment.

And did you get to see the giant tortoises in the Galapagos?



Fly, Eddie, fly! I remember those days! Ha ha. I suppose Bulgaria (he was a Womble too, wasn't he?) will have changed. The first thing you see is probably Tesco, with a magpie outside... (sigh).



Friendships undoubtedly have their place. Time and tide can get in the way, of course, and our needs and abilities in friendships can vary over time. And I think it's harder to be a receiver than a giver: our society's all set up so we find our value in independence and not being perceived as needy, but somehow the logic falls down there. We can all be givers, but that requires receivers, so logically and in order to strengthen relationships, we could all do with a course on receiving too. I know it's something I find hard. I never want to put other people out, but when I thought about it, that is because in my case I see myself as marginal to any group I'm in. But how am I going to integrate if I a) don't find ways to get to know others better (why should they do all the running?) and b) don't allow them to become givers? Oh dear, I think this should have gone on my thread! It's something I'm trying to think through myself right now. Sorry . Anyway thanks for the space to think it through!

So... if you're an independent type, I'm guessing from what you've said elsewhere that you have a convivial personality which makes other people assume all is well, you are an easy person to get on with, you have all the social skills, etc? Those are all good things. I have no doubt that if we met, I would find you easy to get on with. The difficulty is that these skills can become a mask which isolates us from others. (Got that tee shirt myself - it was scary). I think that makes sense... so being the 'real you' in your diary can seem very negative/cynical but actually it's valuable because althogh you're a strong and able person, you also need to be recognised as a whole person, and have the opportunity to talk things through and the right to be heard.

Regarding the 'how are you?'... how many of us really ask that of anyone? We had a remarkable friend once who believed that if you asked how someone was, you should be willing to give what it took to improve their life. And he did - where he found a need, he went out of his way to support that person. Mostly it's just a phrase, isn't it? And sometimes you find people who wouldloveto help but they just don't have the resources themselves dont just financially but in terms of emotional resources, knowledge or whatever. I've been in that position more than once: I wanted to be the support someone needed but I just could do no more. Eventually I came to see that even if I couldn't solve someone's problems, there's a value in just being there, and if I can't even do that, I can still offer my friendship, inadequate though it's proved, at some other time.

I think, from what you've just said, your friendships so far just haven't had the depth you needed when things got tough, yet you have been developing the skills of talking about what's going on 'inside', through writing a diary. 'One man in a thousand, Solomon says, will stick more close than a brother. and it's worthwhile seeking him half of your days if you find him before the other'. (Can't be sure who said that? Kipling?) Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to be that bit more open in the 'real world' - you can continue to be the giver, because that's what you are and it's a good thing and people need it, but allow others to give too. There will be people you can make reciprocal friendships with - and yes, friendships aren't always equal - give and take isn't like that.




Good ol' NHS! And £17!! Yes, the NHS may have its failings but IMO that's partly because it's a victim of its own success. If we go down with something, there's a sort of general expectation that 'someone will do something' and that we deserve it to be that way. I have been grousing that it's so hard to get an appointment with podiatry, but I guess at least it's there, a competent person examines my feet, tells me the NHS doesn't provide the video equipment that would enable them to do a technical analysis, and then procedes to do the analysis themselves even though it takes longer. And then I get treatment. Good stuff. Sorry,... I was going to say - glad you don't need any fillings!

This has taken ages for me to put into words, I hope a bit of it's some use but if it isn't, you're welcome to kick it out. Pop psychology can be annoying. :D

Blimey miggy. Thankyou so much for taking so much time and trouble to write this post xx

I will devour and reply and experiment with multi quotes, in due course


Theres much food for thought, to digest.

Yes, i saw lonesome george.

I've sure you're right in saying Uncle? Bulgaria was indeed, a womble :rotfl:


Have a good day everyone. Work beckons xx

miggy

Aesop wrote: »

yep, have to finish the antibiotics, then he wants me to go and have my teeth cleaned then talk about the root canal.

Haven't got time or patience for that! so will ring dental hospital and see if they will do root canal in a couple of weeks time. It has been going on for over 7 months, I can't keep waiting for something to be done. Last night I was ready to kill someone with the pain I was in.

You shouldn't wait - I did and the tooth died. Mind you, it stopped hurting then so not such a bad thing.

7 months is ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS (sorry to shout) - I'm surprised you haven't taken Ani up on that suggestion but really and truly... it wouldn't cure the toothache.

Stick with the antibiotics, though, unless you've good reason not to such as a bad reaction to them. Just don't want you to have any infection hanging round to cause further trouble.

Hope it eases and you don't have too tiring a day on top of everything. xx

Aesop

miggy wrote: »

You shouldn't wait - I did and the tooth died. Mind you, it stopped hurting then so not such a bad thing.

Yes I am worried that might happen, and then to have the tooth removed will leave an obvious gap. I suppose as Long as I am in pain, we know the tooth is alive.

7 months is ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS (sorry to shout) - I'm surprised you haven't taken Ani up on that suggestion but really and truly... it wouldn't cure the toothache.

LOL, well if I had known I had a volunteer... lol.

Stick with the antibiotics, though, unless you've good reason not to such as a bad reaction to them. Just don't want you to have any infection hanging round to cause further trouble.

Hope it eases and you don't have too tiring a day on top of everything. xx

I have just realised I have double booked myself for MS jobs this afternoon, and DH is at home, but doubt if he will keep DS this afternoon, he likes to go for a drink... so need to sort myself out asap!

thank you though xx

SazM030306

Just a note about the root canal, I would do as the dentist advises. If he says they need cleaning before the treatment then get it done, as he wants to make sure the area is as clean and bacteria free as possible. The more calculus that is there during treatment, the more chance of bacteria getting inside the root canals and causing further infection and swelling, and of course pain.
If the tooth dies, this doesn't necessarily mean that it will need removing. The nerves inside the tooth, at the moment, are infected. A root canal will remove this nerves, clean out the width-of-a-hair canals and seal them up. Thus effectively 'killing' the tooth. If the tooth is already dead, i.e. the nerves have died due to the infection, then a root canal just cleans out the dead nerves and seals it up as before. The tooth should only need removing if the bone loss around the tooth (due to the infection) is too low to sufficiently hold the tooth in place, or if during treatment (RC) the dentist perforates through the side of the root (rare).
You are far better having root canal treatment than having the tooth removed, as you obviously still have the tooth in place and no gap.

I hope this helps. I worked in a dental surgery and the dentist specialised in root canal treatment, so I kind of know my stuff. Good luck!

Saz xxx

Aesop

SazM030306 wrote: »

I hope this helps. I worked in a dental surgery and the dentist specialised in root canal treatment, so I kind of know my stuff. Good luck!

Saz xxx

thanks Saz. but I will go somewhere else, this guy has had me hanging on for 7 months :eek:

I will do as you suggest though, and get it cleaned before the treatment.
xx

miggy

SazM030306 wrote: »

If the tooth dies, this doesn't necessarily mean that it will need removing.

I still have what's left of my tooth - plus very neat root canal work, plus crown. It looks better than it did in life, so to speak!

Could you find another dentist? I think my tooth might have lived to fight another day if the treatment had been given when originally booked (he kept cancelling appointments for various reasons). The dentist who stepped in when it got to emergency status - pretty near where yours is by the sound of it :eek::eek: - is excellent and reliable, if expensive.

Do you know I keep noticing how inappropriately toothy the smiles on these smileys are when posting to you! or should I say .

miggy

Aesop - saw you are on at the same time as me - how's the tooth? Hope you sleep better tonght. xx

SazM030306

That is an awful long time to wait for a root canal! Good luck finding a good dentist, I know one if you're near me
Miggy yes, we usually top rc'd teeth with a crown, they can be weaker teeth and a crown just holds it all together xxx

Aesop

sorry Miggy, did an MS job today had to log results before midnight.

and was looking for something.

Tooth twingeing now... been good all day, but will take ibuprofen in a minute so I can get some sleep tonight! :eek:

How's you?

miggy

Oh I'm fine thanks Aesop - overdone the catching up on mum's papers a bit so my head is wide awake and I have to find a way to slow down! I've been trying to let the TV licensing people know her house is empty - the letter from them gives a website and the website tells you to ring. :huh:

Ibuprofen is wonderful stuff: sleep well!