Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Its amazing how having some money in your bank account, can make you feel part of the human race. I actually just browsed in a couple of shops today, whilst i was killing time. I don't normally go in shops, these days, unless i specifically need something. But i could walk into a shop, look around and purchase something, if i wanted to, use my bank card, for the first time in an eternity. Of course, i did'nt buy anything, but the feeling, was still comforting. Should have some more money next week, that won't disappear straightaway, on bills. Not quite sure how to start organising my funds yet. Its early days. March. The month i was dreading, lasted probably from mid february until now, but somehow, i've made it. Theres lots more money to come in, now. Of course, most of it will be nearly in june, but no matter, i might even get up to four digits for the first time i what? years?

Decided to go shopping tonight, as i'll have little time, in the next few days. Spent £21.91 in Morries, and £13 on fuel. £33 feels like a fortune, and to some extent i feel guilty draining the resource i now have. Never mind, should keep me going through the next week, and i should'nt have to spend any more. Morries had loads of cheap offers, bags of everything for 19p. Oranges, green beans, potatoes, loadss of fruit and veg. I feel guilty about my most extravagant purchases, grapes for £2. Since when did grapes cost £2? Theres nothing to them, and a melon for £1.99. Thats £4 on two items, which i could'nt get reduced. Never mind, bought a value pack of raisins, so i've got some healthy snacks, at least. Grapes and raisins, yum.


I'd completely forgotten about a phone call i received last week, which is part of the reason i've been feeling upset. The charity who paid for my bankruptcy, and who have supported me throughout, rang to ask if they could use me as a case history. I don't really know what this entails, yet, until they phone again, but its thrown me into a quandry. I don't want to go back down the road of talking about what has happened, as i'm finding it easier to cope by blanking the events, and i realise i have managed to move on to a large extent, particularly, the repossession. But i simply feel it would be rude and ungrateful, to say no, to them. What do i do? I guess i'll have to see what it entails, but i just don't want to talk about it. If you don't talk about it, it does'nt exist. I went back ' home ' a few weeks ago, as i had no choice but to go back. I saw my neighbours. They were surprised i was'nt upset. But i've built an even thicker wall around myself. I can't describe it, and maybe its unhealthy. They said no one can get a mortgage on the house, but i was under the impression it had sold, and that they had spoken to someone who said i would get the opportunity to return before, what? the new owners move in. They said a notice will be posted. And now talking about it, is making me think about it.




On a positive note, i was having a chat with someone today, who works in a field i've been contemplating again, for some time. I met someone else a few weeks ago, who i'm sure, recommended the same company. I have'nt been in a position to seriously contemplate it, whilst i was struggling, pre bankruptcy, but theres nothing to stop me now, One joy of being freelance, anyway. Tour leader, or tour manager, as they call it. I'm the right age group, i've no ties, to relationships, i'm not even any ties to a house, anymore. Free, as a bird. It combines everything i love, and a way of still travelling the world, with no funds. Travel, social life, and get paid, what appeared to be a very decent salary. The best of all worlds.

They reckoned they are looking right now, although the website says there are currently no jobs. I'll ring on monday, if i get chance/ remember, but may be too busy. Even if it starts out in a small way, i have the flexibility, having my own employment, and not being employed, to give it a go. Hmmm not been to the great wall of china yet, either. I'm already experienced in this field, too, both at work, and my own personal, travel. Quite an inspiring conversation, so, thankyou. They said everyone should aspire to something everyday, even if its only planning a meal. Very thought provoking.


Hell, look at the time, i've got to work, tomorrow

kerri_gt

Hi Ani, just read your latest update and it's great to hear/read you sounding so positive :beer:

Although I can't pretend I've ever been in a situation like yours, I do know what you mean about the feeling of walking round shops when you know you have some pennies in the bank that aren't all allocated out.... oh and :eek: to the grapes, I have no idea when they shot up so much in price. Our local market sometimes has some really nice ones - seeded (which OH doesn't like) but very yummy..sorry, I digress. Its good to hear that you are now in a position to make sure you are eating properly, I don't think I was alone worrying about that when I first 'met' you on Lucy's thread.

I can understand the quandry about the charity calling you, but perhaps it's worth thinking about it in a way of you/your story being able to help others in similar positions to what you have been through (and are going through). In a strange (and small way) you could take it as a positive out of all of this in being to help others.

The new job prospects sound very interesting, and in a strange way, everything that has happened means you are in the position with zero ties to head off and follow (what I think) are some of your dreams/passions. Sometimes life can be very peverse in the way things come to us. Of course, if you do head off, make sure you have internet connection and keep us up to date on your travels

So_Sad_Angel

ani_26 wrote: »

Quite an inspiring conversation, so, thankyou. They said everyone should aspire to something everyday, even if its only planning a meal. Very thought provoking.


Hell, look at the time, i've got to work, tomorrow

Hi NH

Good to hear that you are looking forward & planning a future...I am deeply impressed by your strength & resiliance Hun...you deserve some good luck.

I highlighted the above as I think its one of the most important things we should all do everyday. I remember when I was ill I used to aspire to even just get up every morning...I built on my progress from there...its such an inspiring comment.

Take care,

Angiex

miggy

So much I want to reply to but if I do it thoroughly I will be typing till gone midnight so off the top of my head... (not the brightest place so please forgive errors and omissions)...
Return of the fiddle - excellent!!!
Bills paid - yay!
grapes, raisins and melon - I'm glad
Job possibilities - go for it, sounds fab and they might like to be approached 'cos it shows initiative, enthusiasm etc.
The charity - don't feel you have to be a case study if it's going to set you back. They should understand the emotional impact. Perhaps they would consider you later?
Birthdays - you also share yours with my eldest (who, before you ask, is neither Hitler nor Bin Laden). (Maty, I hope you can fight off the lurgy by 18th ).
Someone in our household (not me!) had an eighteenth birthday today - and what a beautiful day for it! And my Thalia daffodils have all burst into bloom: they are always the last out in this garden. So things are Looking Up, even if they have to look down between times to mind where they tread.

Wordsmith

ani_26 wrote: »

On a positive note, i was having a chat with someone today, who works in a field i've been contemplating again, for some time. ... They reckoned they are looking right now, although the website says there are currently no jobs. I'll ring on monday, if i get chance/ remember, but may be too busy.

I do hope this comes to something, Ani. Do look into it. Never take any notice about whether a company is advertising for staff. If you think it is a company you might do well working for, just write to them ... and again, and again, if necessary. Fingers crossed for you.

ani_26

kerri_gt wrote: »

Hi Ani, just read your latest update and it's great to hear/read you sounding so positive :beer:

Although I can't pretend I've ever been in a situation like yours, I do know what you mean about the feeling of walking round shops when you know you have some pennies in the bank that aren't all allocated out.... oh and :eek: to the grapes, I have no idea when they shot up so much in price. Our local market sometimes has some really nice ones - seeded (which OH doesn't like) but very yummy..sorry, I digress. Its good to hear that you are now in a position to make sure you are eating properly, I don't think I was alone worrying about that when I first 'met' you on Lucy's thread.

I can understand the quandry about the charity calling you, but perhaps it's worth thinking about it in a way of you/your story being able to help others in similar positions to what you have been through (and are going through). In a strange (and small way) you could take it as a positive out of all of this in being to help others.

The new job prospects sound very interesting, and in a strange way, everything that has happened means you are in the position with zero ties to head off and follow (what I think) are some of your dreams/passions. Sometimes life can be very peverse in the way things come to us. Of course, if you do head off, make sure you have internet connection and keep us up to date on your travels

Good to see you kerri. Not heard back from the charity yet, thank goodness.

I've phoned about the job, and now i have to email them. Never had a cv, in my life. I suppose i've always been fortunate, in as much as jobs always seem to have found me, rather than the other way round,

ani_26

Urgh, i just wrote a post and it wiped itself, and i don't have the energy to write it all again. I feel too ill. I'm off to bed.

So Maty, i hope you are feeling better, miggy, i wonder if your son is like me ( bound to be)!, kerri, i doubt i'll be going anywhere soon, except to bed. Its almost a month since i've had a day off, and with no day off imminent, i can't face going out to work with the lurgy, again, ( but of course, i have to)



Rang about job, need to email, which i'll try and achieve before i go to bed, and i can't wait to climb in zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ani_26

Oh i forgot, good to see you ssa, i've missed you xx

and hi to Wordsmith zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

MatyMoo

:eek::( I have now officially had the lurgy for a week and only feel a teensy weeny bit better :eek::(

Anyone else want a turn now as this has got beyond funny......

Good luck with the cv writing Ani/NH/DC - It will be worth it if it gets you the job of your dreams

Sleep well, tomorrow is another day

kerri_gt

Hi Ani - good luck with writing your CV, I don't think there are many people out there who enjoy writing them tbh. I was clearing out some old discs etc and managed to wipe out my last copy (which is well and truly out of date) - realised what it was just as I hit the 'yes' button when it said 'are you sure you want to delete' .... luckily a friend managed to restore the copy but you have my sympathies. Sorry you're still feeling ill, all this work can't be helping but I guess it's a catch 22 for you. x

Matymoo - you have get well wishes too - I was a bit unwell a few weeks back, was one of those things where I was feeling ugh, but nothing I could put my finger on, then a cold, then a sinus and chest infection - was actually quite nasty and took far longer than i expected to shift. I kept getting really frustrated with myself for not getting better - even took a holiday off work to rest one day and I couldn't tell you the last time I've actually taken a sick day off work - one in the last 5yrs i know that much. Sorry, didn't mean to bang on about me there ....Hope you're feeling better soon xxx