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What would you do?
Horasio
Posts: 6,676 Forumite
Our son has a rented flat which has been half funded by my mother. In exchange we got use of it when he is at work.
We use it because we don't get a mobile phone signal, is a back up if our internet goes, which it did for a week in early June, and it has nice sea views which is like having a mini break.
It was working out well till our son allowed a 19 year old woman from Wales move in. She gives him no money, no sex or do anything around the house. He got a van and got her furniture from Wales for no payment. She has been there for a month and has no job. I can't see her doing anything about getting her own place and her furniture is taking over the place.
He is registered as being a lone tenant.
He seems fed up but hasn't said he wants her out. He went round to my mother's to fix something and was reluctant to go home.
My mother is livid as he didn't discuss it with us and was powerless to stop it. She has stopped funding him.
What should we do?
We use it because we don't get a mobile phone signal, is a back up if our internet goes, which it did for a week in early June, and it has nice sea views which is like having a mini break.
It was working out well till our son allowed a 19 year old woman from Wales move in. She gives him no money, no sex or do anything around the house. He got a van and got her furniture from Wales for no payment. She has been there for a month and has no job. I can't see her doing anything about getting her own place and her furniture is taking over the place.
He is registered as being a lone tenant.
He seems fed up but hasn't said he wants her out. He went round to my mother's to fix something and was reluctant to go home.
My mother is livid as he didn't discuss it with us and was powerless to stop it. She has stopped funding him.
What should we do?
An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T 
:rotfl: :rotfl: 
:eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
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Comments
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If he doesnt ask her to move out- what can you do?
He might be fed up in his relationship (if thats what it is, im guessing so?) but arnt we all from time to time
I guess he has got to get her on the tenancy and apply for lha to pay the rent if he wants her to stay?:beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
This Ive come to know...
So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:0 -
CCStar
I remember a number of your earlier threads about issues with your son and/or mother.
How did your son meet this woman?
What was the agreement between him and her re her living in the flat?
Is the 'lone tenant' but having someone else live with him an issue with the tenancy agreement?
You say he 'seems fed up' but have you actually talked to him about what he wants?
Can he afford to pay the rent and bills if your Mum is no longer funding half?0 -
CCStar
I remember a number of your earlier threads about issues with your son and/or mother.
How did your son meet this woman?
What was the agreement between him and her re her living in the flat?
Is the 'lone tenant' but having someone else live with him an issue with the tenancy agreement?
You say he 'seems fed up' but have you actually talked to him about what he wants?
Can he afford to pay the rent and bills if your Mum is no longer funding half?
Thank you for your reply
I know - if it's not one member of my family it's another:(
We have no idea how the bills are getting paid.
We have asked him all the above but he won't talk about it and clams up.
What has upset us all is we had an arrangement and he did this without discussing it with us and potentially landed himself in a situation.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
If he doesnt ask her to move out- what can you do?
He might be fed up in his relationship (if thats what it is, im guessing so?) but arnt we all from time to time
I guess he has got to get her on the tenancy and apply for lha to pay the rent if he wants her to stay?
Thank you for your reply
We are not sure what the relationship is with her either. He has only known her 2 months. We can all put a person up for a few days to help them out but to move their furniture (and her huge amount of clothes) at his expense from 200 miles away, is another matter.
What is lha?
I am not familiar with benefit entitlements - all I know is she is on Jobseekers Allowance and keeps it all.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].I am a Senior Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Wales, Small Biz MoneySaving, In My Home (includes DIY) MoneySaving, and Old style MoneySaving boards. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com.All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0
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As long as your mother isn't a guarantor as well as half-funding the rent I'd let him get on with it on his own. When and if he needs help with this situation he'll most probably ask for it. Until then, leave it be0
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Thank youBitterAndTwisted wrote: »As long as your mother isn't a guarantor as well as half-funding the rent I'd let him get on with it on his own. When and if he needs help with this situation he'll most probably ask for it. Until then, leave it be
No she has no formal connection but she does know the letting agent.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
What is that you are actually concerned about- your son and his relationship with the girl or the fact that you no longer have the "visiting rights" which you have hitherto enjoyed?
If he has a tenancy I'm presuming he's an adult? You clearly all live quite close to one another and there seems to be a lot of co-dependency.It was working out well till our son allowed a 19 year old woman from Wales move in. She gives him no money, no sex or do anything around the house. He got a van and got her furniture from Wales for no payment. She has been there for a month and has no job. I can't see her doing anything about getting her own place and her furniture is taking over the placeMy bolding.He must have had his own reasons for helping this young woman out Is it her furniture you don't like? Is the Welsh accent an issue for you?;) Are her housekeeping skills not up to yours? Whether or not they have sex should be none of your business.
Are you saying you'd be happy to forgo your "second home rights" if only the Welsh lass was offering your son a regular bonk in lieu of rent or got busy with duster?
If he's down as the sole tenant then he doesn't have to discuss with you, or your mother, who he moves in to the property or how he wants to handle the tenancy, and your mother is clearly equally at liberty to decide not to pay half the rent.
He should however have discussed the young lady's presence with his LL if she is to be more than a temporary guest.
As a parent, I'd say you need to step back and let your son make some decisions for himself or are you going to seek to control him until he is in his 50s?There are close families and then are those who effectively suck the life force out of one another.Some young adults never learn how to make their own decisions because of their family's tight grip and that holds them back.Offer him a listening ear and let him sort it out himself.
Look out for a second hand caravan for yourself, so that you can still get away.0 -
He's not getting sex from her? Well that's bang out of order for starters.0
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I could be reading too much into this but I suspect the OP made the "no money, no sex, no housework" comment to describe their not understanding what the basis of this relationship could be. I don't understand it either but then I don't have to. If her only income is JSA then she doesn't really have much to contribute if she's planning on finding her own accommodation at some point. Her JSA could well be stopped altogether if the JobCentre find out that she's cohabiting in any case as partners are expected to support each other. Now, that could prove to be a huge complication for the son.0
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