**Weekend Chat Thread 18/19th Sep Day 7 of the challenge!

clairewop

Third load of washing on the line, last load in the machine, that just leaves the ironing tomorrow then

right off to have a bit of a tidy cause it looks like a bomb has hit it here again, need to tidy living room sweep floor.

put clothes away that i've dumped on dining room table, that was folded that didn't need ironing sweep dining room floor

make my bed and open curtains

start decluttering a few mnore boxes well see you all next week lol

Burlesque_Babe

it's something that has never been mentioned Buffy. I go on holiday and I don't know who he thinks I go with. About 3 or 4 years ago he called one evening and I was out and OH answered but he's never mentioned it. My ex has never asked if I'm seeing anyone so I've never said. I left my ex to be with my OH so I've never felt comfortable saying anything. In the time we've split up I could have been with more than one person, could have been married, had kids and got divorced so I wouldn't have to say it was who I was with when I left him but I have just never been able to mention or discuss it. Again, if I felt my ex and whoever I was with would get on I would feel better about it, but I don't particularly want their paths to cross. He has never been out with anyone since we split as far as I know and I think if it were mentioned now it could make our friendship a bit less comfortable, I wouldn't want him thinking he couldn't ask my advice etc. I don't want to get back together with him and he's never made any kind of mention of wanting to get back with me, so that's not why i don't say anything. I think I just feel a bit awkward about it.

Increasing my mortgage just isn't an option. I would need to be on around 30k+ for it to be considered as well as it being a permanent job. I can't even fix my mortgage as it is without wanting to increase it in any way because my income isn't enough any more.

tenmah

BB - bit off topic I know, but I am curious whether ex oh has noticed your weight loss? Not for any reason but we all know how notorious men are for not noticing things like that, so I was just wondering?

Burlesque_Babe

My ex? Yes, he's noticed. I've been quite open with him about it and each Sunday tell him what I've lost and if I've got another bead on the way. I buy a pandora style bead for each half stone I lose (only cheap ones) and each has a meaning behind it - something to do with me, I have quite a few now!. I went to see Charlie yesterday and I was sat in the garden playing with him. I shook my wrist to move the bracelet and ex laughed and went 'it's bangle lady'!! He thinks CD is a bit extreme - he thinks it weird I can't even have stuff like grapes when I go round and he is munching on a load - but when we were together I would normally only last around 3 weeks because he would be wafting a takeaway menu in front of me going 'oh go on, you must be able to have something' which was always the beginning of the end of 99% of my diet attempts! I only told him early on in my CD journey because he often offers me something like a bacon or ham roll on a Sunday morning when I go to get Charlie and I wanted to explain why I was going to be saying no.

bookseller1980

BB I think you have to be honest with yourself, ex OH and OH. You are being manipulated as you very well know and your gut instinct is to worry about the proposal so go with it. You need to be your own woman and do what you think is right. There are other houses for OH to buy - he is trying to back you into a corner - beware.
Incidentally - what has OH to say about your weight loss?

I am well grumpy now. Got 1 fence panel done before parents arrived as it was such a lovely day. They have just left and guess what? It's raining!
Still, they are family and there will be other fence painting times but maybe not family times as they are not spring chickens.

Burlesque_Babe

bookseller1980 wrote: »

BB I think you have to be honest with yourself, ex OH and OH. You are being manipulated as you very well know and your gut instinct is to worry about the proposal so go with it. You need to be your own woman and do what you think is right. There are other houses for OH to buy - he is trying to back you into a corner - beware.

this was my gut instinct all along, right from the second he mentioned it. I was concerned that I was preventing my ex the opportunity to stay in the house but I don't feel the deal is worth doing - a bit of soul selling I feel.

bookseller wrote:

Incidentally - what has OH to say about your weight loss?

Nothing proactively. Absolutely nothing. I tell him my weight loss and I just get a shrug/Kevin the teenager style grunt. There are a couple of posts on the weight loss thread with his 'thoughts' on what I should weigh etc after telling him my weekly results. As he can't throw the 'you need to lose weight/you need to diet' comments (as well as the insults) as I'm doing that in spades, it's turned to 'you should weigh this, you should be that dress size before you say you are at your goal'.


Right........off for a pootle out with Charlie. My ex is taking a group of children to a day out at Silverstone tomorrow so I have Charlie all day

ghostmadlittlemiss

BB, please don't take this the wrong way because I really don't mean it to be rude, I'm just honestly wondering. Why are you with him?
Kayleigh

clairewop

Well i'm back

living room is done floor swept

dining room table has been cleared again, put inserts into Nathans cards and in cello bags so they can go away.

sorted the washing just need to put upstairs,

once washing is put away i'm going to start sorting another box and put away the boxes i've done.

lizzie_b

Afternoon everyone.
Cant believe I've missed a week long challenge work has been busy this week, and although it still bores me to death, I havent had the chance to get on here at all, and for some reason its stopped working on my phone
BB it sounds to me like you already know the answer to your dilemma, if your gut feeling tells you no then I think you should be honest with ex and tell him exactly whats been offered but also tell him the reasons why you dont think its a good idea.
And owing to todays challenge of acting immediately, I'm off to spend the next half hour sorting washing and cleaning up the kitchen, then I'll be back for another half hour while I decide what to tackle next!!
Lots of love to all
xxxxxx

bookseller1980

Well, I've been thinking. Not got as far as I should have but here goes. Any thoughts/help appreciated.



1. I have a full time job which I enjoy and is paying me £50k a year.
Well maybe not 50K. I will concentrate on being better at my job and helping my employer to develop the business. Hopefully this will lead to more hours for me.
In the meantime I will look for an extra job to up my income. WTC will drop by £30 a week in Feb so I need to tackle this – incidentally is there some sadistic person that deliberately posts these letters so they arrive on a Saturday morning and ruin the weekend?

2. I am debt free
At the current rate of payments this will be in 2023 and still leaves the mortgage 0f £82k. (I am 55). Brings me nicely back to point 1!

3. Dad has had his op and is now able to get around and enjoy life.
I have managed to bring his appointment with the consultant forward by 6 weeks by being assertive with the clueless registrar. We go back on 11th October so hopefully by Christmas ……

4. I am happily married to a loving, kind, faithful, Christian man.
Not much I can do about that one – do they exist?

5. I am happy.
I need to concentrate on what I have achieved not what I haven’t, to relax and enjoy the present more. I will start tomorrow cos today I am cross over my fences!

6. I get up every morning full of hope rather than dread.
Mmmmn.

7. My children are financially secure and in happy marriages.
Both are married.

8. I am 10 stone.
Not really realistic as I am 5’10 and don’t want to look like a skeleton. However, I do need to lose weight – 5lb in the last fortnight. Hey – it’s a start!

9. My house and garden have both reached a stage where only easy maintenance is required.
I have moved mountains this year and should be proud of what I have achieved. I must keep plodding along and not get cross when family and friends interrupt my schedule.

10. I have won the lottery - in which case some of the above will be definitely sorted!
Action – buy a ticket!