Is wanting a large family so bad?

Supermom

I have 4 (the youngest is only 10 months the eldest nearly ten years old) and we would love more, but we have both decided that to do so would be unfair on the children we have. We both try to spend one to one time with all of them, help with school work and fun too as we both think that it is really important to focus on each child as an individual as well as family time. To have another would really put a strain on this time (there are only so many hours in the day lol!) So we have made the sad decision not to have any more.

Also one of the things that pray's on my mind is that if something should happen to me and my DH finding someone to care for 4 kids is hard enough but more would be impossible. And I would hate the idea of them being split up.

Spendless

It's irresponsible if you can't afford them.

It's irresponsible if you can't adequately house them.

It's irresponsible if you won't have enough time for each of them.

It's irresponsible if you intend to palm them off onto other people all the time cos you've got too many to cope with.

If none of the above applies, it's no-one elses business.:)

Imp

Loanranger wrote: »

Over population is the elephant in the room.
For environmental reasons it is highly irresponsible to have more children.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Thank goodness the fertility rate of women in this country is below the level required to sustain the population level (without net imigration). We need people like the OP to maintain the population and provide a new generation to support me when I eventually retire.

So to the OP, go for it.

And reference benefits, I think bringing up children well is so important, I am happy for my taxes to go towards supporting people and removing the need to work so that they have the time to bring up their children well. I only have a problem when they make a dog's dinner of bringing up their children.

bylromarha

lemoncheesecake wrote: »

J

So onto the question - I have 4 kids and want more....5-6 to be exact. People seem to imply that this might be irresponsible - what do others think?

What does your OH think? There's an "I" here, not a "we". Or is it that OH is "people" that are implying?

Mupette

Imp wrote: »

Thank goodness the fertility rate of women in this country is below the level required to sustain the population level (without net imigration). We need people like the OP to maintain the population and provide a new generation to support me when I eventually retire.

So to the OP, go for it.

And reference benefits, I think bringing up children well is so important, I am happy for my taxes to go towards supporting people and removing the need to work so that they have the time to bring up their children well. I only have a problem when they make a dog's dinner of bringing up their children.

That's the big problem though, we are over populated now, not enough housing, jobs etc. not enough space to build housing without taking away the green belt.

I only had the one child, and didn't think it was fair to bring another child into the world where i knew i would not be able to financial care for the child.

Loanranger

Mupette wrote: »

That's the big problem though, we are over populated now, not enough housing, jobs etc. not enough space to build housing without taking away the green belt.

I only had the one child, and didn't think it was fair to bring another child into the world where i knew i would not be able to financial care for the child.

Absolutely.
Many of the posts urging the OP to have more children are from people who can't, or choose not to, see the bigger picture.

TUS

Good luck to you. I only just have the mental strength for 3 kids ... I seriously couldn't imagine any more :-s My family is complete ... but yours clearly not. Each to their own I say.

ceridwen

Errrmm....well you asked.

So - yes - I think it would be....errrm...phrasing that more accurately "I KNOW it would be" - irresponsible that is.

1. The country is very overpopulated. Britain's optimum population (according to the most conservative estimate) is 30 million. I think probably the most realistic estimate is the one that reckons we should only have 15 million people. We do have to bear in mind that Britain is shortly going to have become MUCH more self-sufficient in food - and its not clear whether we have enough land to feed the people we already have.

2. At a personal level - it looks like you can't afford to have any more. Correction - errrr..you definitely can't afford to.

3. At a personal level - I presume you would be taking all the various payments that the State provide for having children (including the provision of State education) too - and it costs the State thousands of £s per child per year (assuming State education has to be factored in as well).

Sorree...don't mean to sound harsh...but you did ask for our opinions.

EDIT: You don't have to take my word for it on point 1. - check out:

http://www.optimumpopulation.org/

So - again...sorree...but "the personal IS political" these days.

ceridwen

Bonny1 wrote: »

Have as many kids as you wish sweetheart, it's your business, no-one elses...

good luck

Xxxx

This will obviously be the usual response on this particular Board - and its thoroughly depressing to see just how many selfish people there are around. It DOES affect other people - therefore it IS other peoples business. Two children is replacement level - beyond that it IS other peoples business - extra payments claimed from the State/extra food needed for the population/extra people wanting access to the NHS/extra people that will require land to have a house on when they grow up.

So - yes...;.it IS very much other peoples business - because we are affected by it.

ceridwen

Imp wrote: »

Thank goodness the fertility rate of women in this country is below the level required to sustain the population level (without net imigration). We need people like the OP to maintain the population and provide a new generation to support me when I eventually retire.

.

So - how come the population is still expanding?

We do have to take account of the number of immigrants moving into this country (and yep there was an estimated 1 million illegal ones included in that total as well..:() - all people that need feeding, that need housing, that will expect access to the NHS....and all people we are getting taxes from. We can't just count British babies here - meaning English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish. We also have to count the ones from people with "British nationality" and all the incomers to our country (I'm not racist - I just "count heads" - and people are people are bodies to house and mouths to feed regardless of whether they are British, "British nationality" or what..

....and I simply don't want to go there into the argument that "someone else" will be supporting me come my old age...I've paid in my dues myself for my State Pension thank you (all 30 years worth duly paid - in fact I've covered the 39 years N.I. contributions I was told it would be at the outset). We each have to take individual responsibility for covering ourselves - having done my bit I will take my bit. I've gone into the "ins and outs" many times by now of who I am paying my N.I. contributions for - myself or someone else. Obviously - I am paying for myself - because if I didn't pay, then I wouldnt get.