Is wanting a large family so bad?

gingin_2

I just don't see how you can give 5 or 6 children all the one-on-one time they need?

For me, spending time with my two children individually is really, really important and I think that's what gives us the close bond that I know we have. Whether it's bath time and stories before bed with the youngest, or sitting at the computer with eldest going through homework, or just watching a daft programme on tv whilst youngest is in bed, it's all quality time that I know I couldn't give if I had 5 or 6.

I also think, in an ideal world, children should have their own bedrooms if they wish, I think having that private space is even more important in large families.

Becles

If you've got the time, patience, love and money to do it, you should go for it regardless of what other people think.

red_devil

having large families used to be the norm.

I would imagine there are lots of benefits in being part of a large clan especially if you are all close.

thorsoak

If you can afford the money, the time, the space and the patience to bring up a family of six happily and heathily, to become good hardworking members of the community who are prepared to put back into the community what they take out and more - then go for it and good luck!

I hear all the comments about over population - and what I am afraid of is that if we are not careful, we will become over-populated with people who have throughout their lives had to rely upon state funding and who have never experienced the world of work -I know that the Daily Mail & Express state the extremes - but we need to know about the large families who do work and contribute to society! - and there are many out there.

Good luck - I was one of 5 children, and we had 4 - and I wouldn't change a thing.

sock-knitter

personally i would have more if thats what myou and your hubby want and can afford
on a personal note, i was left a single mum with two kids both of whom have disabilities, and struggle to cope at times
if something should happen in the future, could you cope alone with all them kids, and give them the individual attention that each one needs

SusanC_2

ceridwen wrote: »

This will obviously be the usual response on this particular Board - and its thoroughly depressing to see just how many selfish people there are around. It DOES affect other people - therefore it IS other peoples business. Two children is replacement level - beyond that it IS other peoples business - extra payments claimed from the State/extra food needed for the population/extra people wanting access to the NHS/extra people that will require land to have a house on when they grow up.

So - yes...;.it IS very much other peoples business - because we are affected by it.

Apparently 2.33 is the level needed worldwide for population maintenance. In industrialised countries IIRC it's around 2.1. Current UK birth rate is around 1.8.

Imp

SusanC wrote: »

Apparently 2.33 is the level needed worldwide for population maintenance. In industrialised countries IIRC it's around 2.1. Current UK birth rate is around 1.8.

Now, now SusanC, let's not be letting facts get in the way of cliches and soundbites spouted by people with politcal and commercial interests.

Fuzzy_Duck

red_devil wrote: »

having large families used to be the norm.

I would imagine there are lots of benefits in being part of a large clan especially if you are all close.

But wasn't that because contraception wasn't as good as it is now?

My personal opinion is that it is a little selfish considering how overcrowded we are, and it does annoy me how people who choose not to have children often get criticism for it, as if having children is something everyone should want.

At the same time though the main reason we're overcrowded is because we have so many immigrants, and there are many immigrant families where having 7/8 children is the norm.

At the end of the day you can have as many as you want, and provided you support them yourself people can hardly complain.

January20

Loanranger wrote: »

Over population is the elephant in the room.
For environmental reasons it is highly irresponsible to have more children.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

My first concern would be the amount of attention you can give all the children. Would you have the time and energy to cope and look after 6 children as well as 4, or would some of them have to be a bit more self-reliant? Would you expect the oldest ones to help out with younger ones, which I think would have been the norm 60-70 years ago but could cause problems with teenagers today? How old are your older children and how would they react to being from the odd family with lots of kids when everybody else is from a 2-3 children family. (my dd has a friend from a family of 6 children and they are quite an oddity in the friendship group and the eldest is always called upon to babysit the youngest which can be a bit of a burden to her)

Of course OP you can do what you want if you can support 5 or 6 children but I tend to agree with the comment above. My main concern is environmental issues, and for that reason I would never have had a big family.

Toomuchdebt

thursdaynext wrote: »

Surely it's not just about the money?

How are you going to find the time to give each child individual attention? Or are you just going to let them mither each other instead of you?

How are you going to deal with different wants across the age gap? 6 kids 18 months apart means that when the 11 year old wants help with their homework, the 2 year old wants feeding... which of them are you going to go to first?

Don't get me wrong, I love my siblings. But, as a child it would have been nice to have a bit of adult attention for me, not just being one of a crowd - especially as I got older, when it was assumed I was self sufficient & the little ones needed more looking after...

I have 6 children and they all get individual attention-it can be hard some days but it's not impossible.