Dilemma - want to move to country but away from family

gingerwhinger

Emmzi wrote: »

I take it no one drives?

If guilt massively consummes you, chip in for a moped??

No we both drive. Was just thinking about when the kids were older really.

nearlyrich

gingerwhinger wrote: »

No we both drive. Was just thinking about when the kids were older really.

Who knows where either of you will be living by the time they are old enough to go on their own, even teens get run around these days especially if there isn't a reliable bus service...go for it.

gingerwhinger

mountainofdebt wrote: »

get a grip

When I saw your title I thought you were wanting to move miles (as in hundreds) from where you are now....not 6 miles down the road.

Dad could be there in 15 minutes.

You're right! That's exactly what my BF would say - "get a grip"!

I know I'm being ridiculous...

gingerwhinger

nearlyrich wrote: »

Who knows where either of you will be living by the time they are old enough to go on their own, even teens get run around these days especially if there isn't a reliable bus service...go for it.

Yeah you're right. Let's face it by the time they are teens they probably won't want to spend time with either of us...:D

babyshoes

As someone whose parents live in another country many hours away on a plane, I think you are over-reacting! :cool: The new place sounds fantastic and will be so much better for your children's lifestyle and mental health in the long run - I think you should go for it!

agscully

Absolutely you should move , 6 miles really is not far . You both drive so either of you could transport the children to see their dad and its really not very far is it .Better house , better school no bullying etc. Plus when the children are old enough to drive is it 16 you can learn ? and they have their own transport visiting their dad will not be a problem .

LilacPixie

17 to drive a car 16 for a moped.

Seriously OP if 6 miles is going to give your family a better quality of life then go for it. 6 miles is a tiny amount, yes it puts you off a direct bus route to the ex's for the kids but that was only going to be IF they chose to use it. The probably your get a bus from your possible new home to disect that route at somepoint.
Agree to buy them a bus pass when at an appropriate age.

Fact is the move is better for your family as a whole and the kids themselves are keen so your ex is being purely selfish.

ailuro2

People stay together "for the sake of the kids", Split up "for the sake of the kids" and do things they might not choose to do otherwise "for the sake of the kids"

I think this is a case of doing it "for the sake of the kids" and to hell with everyone else.What they need nearly always comes first. Give your old house a good clear out and a lick of paint now, and get it on the market!;) Your Ex can't argue when it's only 6 miles - if push comes to shove you can drive to the bus stop to meet them all when he brings them back after having them. It's really not so hard, is it?;)

Good Luck in your new home.:D

Gingham_Ribbon

gingerwhinger wrote: »

You're right! That's exactly what my BF would say - "get a grip"!

I know I'm being ridiculous...

No, I don't think you're being ridiculous at all. Of course your ex will find the change difficult. His vision of his children being able to walk round to see him is probably a really big deal to him. I'd think you were pretty heartless not to feel a pang about it. You should be making sure that they can visit their loving dad easily.

That said, it's not an unreasonable distance for any of them and the opportunities for the children sound extensive. It sounds like a great opportunity that you'd be daft to turn down!

Working out a way of making your ex feel more secure that he's not losing his children during this change might make both of you feel better?

JoJoB

Dispense with the guilt trip - in fact transfer the guilt on to him. He wants his child to stay in a school where he is bullied when he could have the chance of a much better life by moving just a few miles? He's being extremely selfish and I wouldn't hesitate in telling him so. If he's that worried about being too far away when the children are teenagers then he's got plenty of time to organise a move himself.