Too much moneysaving?

LEJC

What I when I re read your post is that you havent actually yet proposed bought or planned any of your celebrations yet....perhaps once you have started to investigate the costs involved with what you call the "proper" wedding you too will be visiting the forums with a different view and looking at the wonderfully creative way many of the couples on here are doing their planning to achieve their special day.

missknixon

We have as a couple been together for well over 6 years. We have squirrelled away some money for our wedding - unfortunately neither of us is on a millionnaires salary. We have put away Christmas present cash, birthday present cash and any other amounts that we have saved and have managed (over 6 years) to save £5000. We were not prepared to wait any longer we felt we had the cash to do it and we are.

When we first looked into getting married we were in shock - the costs were astronomical. Unfortunately my parents have never been in a position to help with the costs but the wedding is ours. At a wedding we went to recently the bride would not pick up her own baby - she might make a mess of her dress. I don't care - if my nephew wants picking up I'll do it. I am a very practical person and can't justify spending thousands of pounds on a dress I will wear once and have to keep people at arms length - I want to go outside and enjoy the day not be worried about if I have done enough or if I'm going to get dirty before the evening do etc.

In all fairness a wedding is a personal thing - we always said we would disappear and do it quietly so people were not expecting a huge hoo ha like my cousins. Now everyone is excited - wondering what I have done!!!!

shellsuit

ampafc wrote: »

The posts about certain couples spending massive amounts of money on their wedding - and then splitting up - are just nonsense. A lot of people that have cheap weddings end up splitting up as well, but of course no one on here wants to mention that Probably because they see that as irrelevant - just as irrrelevant as giving examples of those who spend a fortune then split up. The cost of the wedding has nothing to do with whether or not that couple stays together, so i'll just ignore this type of comment.

Some of you seem a bit offended by my original post - I was just giving an opinion. Please read it again and you will see that.

It's not nonsense at all.

The people I know of, who have had lavish weddings, have split up.

Those who have had small intimate affairs, or even just got married in a registry office, have been married for years, from 20 years, upto old age till one of them passed away.

Of course there will be people who have big weddings and stay together, but I personally don't know of anyone like that.

You weren't giving an opinion, you were asking a question.

Please read it again and you will see that

ampafc

shellsuit wrote: »

It's not nonsense at all.

The people I know of, who have had lavish weddings, have split up.

Those who have had small intimate affairs, or even just got married in a registry office, have been married for years, from 20 years, upto old age till one of them passed away.

Of course there will be people who have big weddings and stay together, but I personally don't know of anyone like that.

You weren't giving an opinion, you were asking a question.

Please read it again and you will see that

So for you to be posting the lavish wedding comment - then you must think that there is a connection between them spending a lot on the wedding, and then splitting up? That's why in think your comment is nonsense. There is just no need to connect the two.

shellsuit

ampafc wrote: »

So for you to be posting the lavish wedding comment - then you must think that there is a connection between them spending a lot on the wedding, and then splitting up? That's why in think your comment is nonsense. There is just no need to connect the two.

What planet are you on?

The people who I know who had big grand weddings split up not that long afterwards.

The people who I know who had small weddings have been together for years.

The only thing that those show me (with those people I know!), is that a big expensive wedding doesn't mean a long marriage.

And before you criticise people here for watching the pennies and cutting back when it comes to their wedding, get your own house in order first.

sparklylime

ampafc wrote: »

Fair points.

To make it clear i am not flash with loads of money or anyhting - I just see myself sacrificing a wee bit more than normal in the next year or two to ensure that my partner and i and our guests have a great day - one that my partner will remember and treasure for the rest of her life. When i look back in 50 years time, i want to be able to remember an amazing day, so now I'm thinking I want us to have such a memorable day!

Well my partner and I are making considerable sacrifices to save for our wedding but even still our budget is only £3.5k. This will pay for a day which has everything we can wish for and is perfect for us. Granted our wedding day is not your typical traditional wedding but it is entirely reflective of our personalities and I have no doubt that all our guests will have as much fun on the day as we will.

We might not have a lot of money so we have used this forum to get inspiration of how to get the things we want within our budget.

Like someone said earlier - most people here are getting exactly what they want for their wedding day but use this forum to figure out how to get it for the best price, how to get value for money, get tips on haggling/negotiating and getting reccomendations for suppliers that are giving great service without ripping people off because thw W word was mentioned.

When you do propose to your OH I'm sure you would both be welcomed warmly on here and given lots of useful advice whatever your budget. The majority of people on here are friendly and helpful and won't judge you wether you are spending £200 or £20k.

smk77

ampafc wrote: »

So for you to be posting the lavish wedding comment - then you must think that there is a connection between them spending a lot on the wedding, and then splitting up? That's why in think your comment is nonsense. There is just no need to connect the two.

I think you are missing shellsuits point. There is no mention of a direct link between lavish weddings and splitting up!!! The comment would have originally be raised because it seems much more of a waste to spend all that money on a lavish wedding and then split up than spend a small amount and then split up...

However, perhaps (and this is just a thought - not an opinion!)someone having a lavish is more focused on their perfect Wedding day than the person that they're actually getting married to?

tamarto

ampafc wrote: »

I haven't told anyone to do anything. Please can you read the original post again?

I think you need to read my post again as i didn't say you did.

'Shouldn't you just put your wedding back a couple of years, save a bit more, so you can have a 'proper' day to remember? '

You are implying that people are doing it wrong if they aren't splashing the cash though and yes that is offensive, no matter how you try to dress it up now.

I find that people who get married for the wedding, don't tend to last, those who get married to bew married do, stands to reason really, it isn't rocket science.

That doesn't mean those who choose to spend a fortune are doing it wrong either, but there is a problem if they feel they have to do it so people have a good time etc.

mellymeep

It's definitely not a good thing to be more focused about your guests having a good time than actually marrying the person you love. The only money you need to actually spend to be married is the registrar/church fee's.. everything else is for 'styling' the day and can be unnecessary.

ampafc

shellsuit wrote: »

What planet are you on?

The people who I know who had big grand weddings split up not that long afterwards.

The people who I know who had small weddings have been together for years.

The only thing that those show me (with those people I know!), is that a big expensive wedding doesn't mean a long marriage.

And before you criticise people here for watching the pennies and cutting back when it comes to their wedding, get your own house in order first.

Planet earth. You are so defensive, and the last comment you made there is spiteful and unneccessary. I haven't told anyone to do anything - you don't seem to get that though.

I think we will just have to agree to disagree here. My original post was nothing to do with what happens after the wedding, i.e. if that couple splits up or not. So the fact that someone you know split up after having an expensive wedding is irrelevant in this sense, unless you are making a connection between the two. I could say I missed the bus today, and I had toast for breakfast. That doesn't mean I missed the bus because I had toast for breakfast. Your point means nothing, because you're not connecting them - I hope you understand what I mean.

Thanks to those that managed to reply without being spiteful. I suggested spending a bit more as opposed to the staunch tactics of a moneysaver, which some can't accept. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and mine is that I want to have a lovely memorable day for my partner and I and my guests, even if that means spending a bit more. I'm sorry if you took my post as a criticism, and it's a shame some have had to make comments like those above.

Good luck to those getting married; I hope you have a wonderful day