Too much moneysaving?

ampafc

Been reading through this forum for a few days now, as I would love to be in a position to ask my partner to marry me at some point in 2011.

I envisage proposing with a nice diamond ring, and having a lovely day that the guests enjoy and always remember, and want my partner to have the best day ever. I'm sure that's the same for everybody...

Looking through some of the posts about people trying to do a wedding on a budget, though, isn't the budget so tight that it would maybe spoil the day a bit? Like not giving the guests much to drink, really cheap rings, not inviting a lot of people etc... Shouldn't you just put your wedding back a couple of years, save a bit more, so you can have a 'proper' day to remember?

twirlypinky

Depends on your version of wedding really.

I'm not having a traditional wedding in any sense at all really, we're going to Greece to do it and I'm not fussed if none of our friends can make it - because our wedding is about us getting married and having a full, happy and lasting marriage, it is NOT about flowers, cars, bars, guests, sit down dinners, table arrangements, seating plans and speeches.

You need to think about what's really important to YOU, and if that's having a really wonderful day with all your friends around you, and everything beautiful for the photographs you'll have forever, and a big band because that's just your sort of thing then that's totally up to you.

I'm sure it's the same for weddings as it is for real life, we all have different priorities. I'm sure i spend money on certain things that would horrify you, and vice versa.

My friend has worked really hard to bring her entire wedding in under £3k, however, she's going to spend a fortune on a pair of Jimmy Choos. Because that's her thing and that's brilliant for her.

However you decide to budget or not budget, i hope your day is everything you want it to be.

hth x

LEJC

I posted a reply to another thread earlier...."getting carried away...help"

I think you need to sit down together and decide the type of wedding you both want..Its ok to change your mind over the type of wedding you have but you need to be realistic over costs etc...its no point going ahead with a small wedding if you want the big one but what you will need to consider is if you go for the bigger all in package then that Will cost more and something to consider is if you will be able to pay for it by your chosen day....its really not a good idea to start married life with the debt of a wedding hanging over you...you may decide that to give you more time to save for the dream wedding you may need to either put the date back or reduce the amount of guests
I would take sometime now to have a long hard think about what you both want....there is always room for compromise and you can both have the wedding of your dreams I am sure .... the key is to talk...
Its a really good idea to set a realistic budget and plan the type of day you both want....You can spend thousands on a wedding and at the end of it be unhappy...just because something is expensive doesnt necessarly mean it is better....the goal is to achieve a day that you and your husband will look back on fondly as the day you started your married life together...it is YOUR day to enjoy...

its all about compromise....the wedding of your dreams does not need to cost a lot of money and there are certainly areas where you can achieve savings ...but what the wedding of your dreams should deliver is a host of wonderful memories to look back on....good luck with your plans for 2011..I hope you get the day of your dreams

ampafc

Fair points.

To make it clear i am not flash with loads of money or anyhting - I just see myself sacrificing a wee bit more than normal in the next year or two to ensure that my partner and i and our guests have a great day - one that my partner will remember and treasure for the rest of her life. When i look back in 50 years time, i want to be able to remember an amazing day, so now I'm thinking I want us to have such a memorable day!

MissPixie

I think it depends a lot on what you want we aren't really missing out on much. We are able to invite everyone we want and are having a sit down meal with drinks and a buffet. We are having a pay bar but I don't think we could have afforded a free bar anyway however long we waited.
I set a small budget for my dress but have gone over because I fell in love with a more expensive one.
I think having to do it cheaper than a lot of people has turned out to be a really good thing for us because when we originally thought about the wedding it was very traditional and we were justh thining abotu doing what is expected of us.
Now we are so restricted with money we have had to think a lot more about what we want and what is important to us and not what everyone else expects. I love our wedding now because it is a reflection of who we are, we don't drink or go out or dance and so although we still have those things we know have a lot more things that we will enjoy too
We have done our wedding for 6k and the only things we are really missing out on is theres a wedding singer/dj we like but can't afford but thats not the end of the world.
I suggest when you do get engaged ans start planning sit and make a list of what you want and what you aren't so bothered about.

kitschkitty

Money can't buy you happiness - not even on your wedding day! It's about working out what wedding things will make you happy, what things you just think you should have and what you don't want, then work it out with your budget as best you can.

For some people a big traditional wedding would be horrifying rather tyhan a huge happy celebration!

It's always dangerous ground to to consider doing things differently or your own way isn't "proper", as really there is no such thing as right and proper only maybe tradition or what the media these days tells you a wedding is.

mellymeep

The more money spent does not correlate with having an enjoyable and memorable day in my opinion. I'm going to remember our day for the rest of my life and spent a fraction of what is reported as the "average" cost of a wedding. I saved money in many areas where others would splash out and I don't think I compromised at all.

It is of course all down to personal opinions, a wedding is obviously a day entirely dedicated to the couple and what they want.

nozzy6

Its down to the couple involved, everyone has different ideas on what their wedding day will be like, and everyone has different budgets available to them.

We spent in the region of £5k on our day including our honeymoon (not including my dress as I got TOTALLY carried away and my lovely Gran bought it as a gift) and we had the most perfect day, I know I'm biased but I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing. We had a small do - 28 to the day and a further 24 joined us in the evening, and by keeping it small we were able to have it in a stunning seafront hotel. We had all the 'usual' things - arrival drinks, wine with the sit down meal, buffet in the evening, photographer, real flowers...but we saved by DIYing alot - I made all the paper goods, I baked the cupcakes for the tower...and we shopped around for everything else, which was half the fun!

The upshot of all that blabber is WE wouldn't have been comfortable spending more than we did when we have a mortgage and bills to pay, but others might be in a different position and want different things.

clearing_out_my_pockets

I am slightly (only slightly, mind) offended by your post to be honest.

I have been with my OH for three years and we're getting married next year on a budget of around £8,000. Which is less than the supposed national average. Yes we could have waited even longer and saved even longer, but what is important to US is the marriage, not the wedding day itself. We have cut our guest list to 65 ish. To invite all of my family would add another £2k to the cost of the wedding. A free bar (based on a conservative £20 per person) would add another £2k. My wedding ring cost £55 but we've chosen simple matching flat wedding bands.

It's easy to say 'why don't you just save for longer' but OH & I want to be married and we're happy with our arrangements. None of our guests will feel shortchanged by our wedding and if they do resent not having a free bar, that's their problem not mine. I'd rather spend OUR money on us (via the honeymoon) or on our house than on people who only crawl out of the woodwork when there's a wedding or large family birthday.

tamarto

ampafc wrote: »

Fair points.

To make it clear i am not flash with loads of money or anyhting - I just see myself sacrificing a wee bit more than normal in the next year or two to ensure that my partner and i and our guests have a great day - one that my partner will remember and treasure for the rest of her life. When i look back in 50 years time, i want to be able to remember an amazing day, so now I'm thinking I want us to have such a memorable day!

Why do you think other people haven't sacrificed a wee bit or a lot more than normal to be able to afford their 'budget' wedding?

I will look back and remember my day with great fondness as it's the day i marry the love of my life! We have three children and have been putting it off for 10 years so we could have 'our day' There are always better things to spend our money on though, then we realised if we waited till we had an endless supply of money it was never happening.

I'd have gone off and got married just us but we decided to have a bit of a do, and so i've enjoyed seeing how much we could stretch our budget.

I'm not entirely sure that getting married to give your guests a great day is the best reason to be getting wed tbh;)

As for a 'proper day' who decides that? Oh yes the couple getting married, if they are happy that is ALL that matters.

I must remember to tell my OH we're not having a proper day because we aren't buying our guests drink!

Stephb1986_2

You can spend as much money as you like on a wedding but it doesn't guarantee that you will be together 12 months down the road. A friend of mine her friend spent 50k on her wedding within 6 months of her getting married she had a one night stand with someone.

Steph xx