Does your partners care about?

hot.chick

maybe just knowing he doesn't not do them because he doesn't care - might lessen your tension about these things?

bylromarha

Another vote here for love languages.

its very twee and you have to get through the american ness of it, but it makes you realise you are loved!

newcook

lol! sorry amyb - I thought he had forgotten. That’s not nice though that he remembered but still didn’t get you anything – especially as you do a lot for him.

amalis

hot.chick wrote: »

maybe just knowing he doesn't not do them because he doesn't care - might lessen your tension about these things?

why it's always us, woman, have to change?

*Louise*

amalis wrote: »

i will try that! but I know his answer will be " i don't know how to cook"

Pfft - he doesn't have to be Gordon Ramsay to rustle up some tea and toast for breakfast!!

Stop letting him use excuses. Offer to teach him some simple things to cook (washing machine settings is another useful thing to teach while you're there )

And STOP doing all the housework as well...you are both working, it 'should' be 50/50

VK-2008

been with dh 5 years married this year!

i take the ups with the downs

when we started going out he WAS so attentive, bringing gifts, flowers,choccies etc every week without fail, he got paid weekly and always treated me. also date night at least once a week.
a few years later things died down a bit but that was expected
now with joint finances and bills i kind of deal with all the money. we had this talk a few months ago and he said that he would get more gifts but does not know what money is disposable lol MEN!!!! lol
but in general he is still fabby i have been unwell this year and he looked after me fab
both choked with chest infections this week and last night he still went and made me hot choc etc to make me feel better

we both do things for each other, not all day or everyday but simple things like running each other a bath, doing all the housework, cooking dinner, bringing juice to each other etc. simple things

to show you care you dont need to spend money but do gestures which make a difference.
if you dont do anything for your oh you cannot expect him to do anything for you


as for your friend maybe they are trying for a baby and hes pampering her and you dont know
i think depending on time of year anniversaries, birthday, xmas you can be more or less romantic

hot.chick

it isn't always women that have to change...

but you are having an emotional reaction to things your other half is doing or not doing - if you are ok with these things upsetting you then stay as you are...

if you would rather not be upset by them, then maybe not changing but looking at things differently will stop you being upset by them

Wouldn't you rather feel loved and appreciated for the things ur other half 'does' do for you - rather then be upset for the things he doesn't do?

the thing is ur other half isn't doing anyting 'wrong' as such... he's just not doing the things you want.... just as he has said you do not always treat him in the way he would like... you are also not doing anything 'wrong', an open mind will help you attach less emotion to these actions.

hot.chick

VK-2008



Here we have a true match in love languages - you both appreciate 'gifts of service' and as such both feel very loved and appreciated.



It sounds lovely

Lirin

My partner washes my car for me (strangely, I always leave it with streaks!), and cooks a lot (I tend to get bored cooking, which has led to strange concoctions like chocolate mashed potato and onion ice-cream), but that's mainly I suspect, because he possesses survival instinct.
We message eachother regularly, and I continually find small soppy gifts everywhere.

Jinx

My partner too does all the 'blokey' things like looks after my car and cuts the grass while I do the Sunday roast and clean the windows etc...

I do get coffee in bed when hes up first though:) And I like the fact my hubby cant cook - it means when I have the occasional tantrum re always cooking and I work too etc etc I get taken out for dinner... :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: