High income but deep deep in debt-any advice?

BillTrac

tobiascurious wrote: »

Even if it is a wind-up it raises some interesting questions

I never knew that Polish women also had a reputation for being a little materialistic

I think that also many of you are too quick to jump in and say get rid of the wife - it's not for nothing that marriage vows are taken.

Try telling her that!!

OP, you really need to get rid of the wife. She is just draining you mentally, emotionally and definately financially.

I know posters have asked you where she is from, and although you have obviously made a big deal on ignoring this point, I am guessing eastern european. I have had some experience of eastern women and they(although a minority I agree) seem to think they are entitled to sit on their butts all day, playing at being mothers and generally doing less for the future of this planet than WAGS. She really needs a reality check, and unfortunately. all the time you put her feelings first she isn't going to get that.

DansMum_2

Well done on taking her cards away - although I'm with the others. Dont fund her account. She can get a job to do that... Maybe that'll be the kick she needs. Stand by your guns...

lphillips25

Hi I am new to site but just had to comment on this thread. I do feel for your situation, however it was that you managed to get into this mess I must say that if my husband was in trouble I would not be adding to his troubles as a loving wife I would be supportive and helpful taking whatever work I could and decreasing my outgoings as much as I could...in fact when my husband desperately needed a new vehicle for his work I sold my shoes and clothes on Ebay. That is what any worthwhile partner would do. Take away her blackberry and bloody Ebay it!!! lol. I really hope everything pans out for you eventually xx

bluebag

Please forgive my brutal truth, I have no desire to insult you, my only goal is to save you from financial ruin.

Your wife is using you as a walking wallet. You will never be out of debt as long as you keep paying her bills, they will continue to rise to meet whatever you earn.

You need to be very, very determined to keep her lifestyle within your budget.

I can't tell you how many men I know who have heart attacks, stomach ulders, affairs or addictions as a result of the stress from trying to keep a spendaholic wife happy.

You are the one with the money!! Remember that! You are IN CHARGE.
bb

Wutang_2

bluebag wrote: »

Please forgive my brutal truth, I have no desire to insult you, my only goal is to save you from financial ruin.

Your wife is using you as a walking wallet. You will never be out of debt as long as you keep paying her bills, they will continue to rise to meet whatever you earn.

You need to be very, very determined to keep her lifestyle within your budget.

I can't tell you how many men I know who have heart attacks, stomach ulders, affairs or addictions as a result of the stress from trying to keep a spendaholic wife happy.

You are the one with the money!! Remember that! You are IN CHARGE.
bb

Can we sponsor this thread and see if we can prolong it maybe over 45 years? We need more capital letters, thousands more exclamation marks and the (bordering-on-schizophrenic) same message repeated 23,000,000 times. cheers

Wutang_2

bluebag wrote: »

Please forgive my brutal truth, I have no desire to insult you, my only goal is to save you from financial ruin.

Your wife is using you as a walking wallet. You will never be out of debt as long as you keep paying her bills, they will continue to rise to meet whatever you earn.

You need to be very, very determined to keep her lifestyle within your budget.

I can't tell you how many men I know who have heart attacks, stomach ulders, affairs or addictions as a result of the stress from trying to keep a spendaholic wife happy.

You are the one with the money!! Remember that! You are IN CHARGE.
bb

You are the one with the money!! Remember that! You are IN CHARGE.

Katya1982

I think people here need to know there are two sides for every story.

I am not perfect but you know some of the people here are cruel and do not understand the situation. They should not try to comment if they do not know

You can not call me materialist, I had the chance to marry much richer men than my husband. I married for love. And I love my daughter.

Yes I spend on making me always beautiful to please my husband but what am I to do, am I to be humiliated because he finds a younger prettier girlfriend if I do not take care of myself?

And I have now sacrificed a lot of what I can spend. He showed me this thread and I listened to his opinions.

Thank you those of you who have tried to help without cruelty

InaPickle

Katya1982 wrote: »

I think people here need to know there are two sides for every story.

I am not perfect but you know some of the people here are cruel and do not understand the situation. They should not try to comment if they do not know

You can not call me materialist, I had the chance to marry much richer men than my husband. I married for love. And I love my daughter.

Yes I spend on making me always beautiful to please my husband but what am I to do, am I to be humiliated because he finds a younger prettier girlfriend if I do not take care of myself?

And I have now sacrificed a lot of what I can spend. He showed me this thread and I listened to his opinions.

Thank you those of you who have tried to help without cruelty

Dear Katya,

Does the above mean that you are DebtHelp's wife?

If so, you have been very brave to post here. That takes some serious guts. :T

Of course nobody who has posted here knows both sides of the story: all we can see is a man desperate for help in a situation which has evidently become completely unbearable for him. You see stories in the papers fairly regularly about people with high levels of debt like this, who feel torn in their home lives who then go on to do something stupid. Your husband evidently loves his daughter, and I hope that, if you still love him as you say you did when you married him, that he also loves you and that you can carry on as a family despite your current problems.

I imagine it must have been one heck of a shock to see some of what has been written here (I wouldn't say my comments have been 'cruel' per se, but I did get the impression that you were a golddigger, although I am more than happy to revise that opinion if you say that you are not). As you say, it's hard to form a balanced view of a situation with only one side of the story, but if one of the reasons you have been spending so much money is to keep your husband interested in case he gets tempted by a 'younger girlfriend', I get the impression that has neither the time nor the energy to be getting up to such shennanigans, and I strongly suspect that a nice life with you and your lovely daughter would be much more up his street.

Whatever happens next for you both, I hope that you sit down and have some very long, honest talks. The amount of money owed is considerable, but if you put your heads together, you will be able to shift it in a relatively short period of time, and then carry on living a much nicer life with a lot less stress (and some very nice treats for you both)!

Please keep us posted every now and again. It would be nice to think that a happy outcome came from what looks like a horrible situation.

Loanranger

Katya1982 wrote: »

I think people here need to know there are two sides for every story.

I am not perfect but you know some of the people here are cruel and do not understand the situation. They should not try to comment if they do not know

You can not call me materialist, I had the chance to marry much richer men than my husband. I married for love. And I love my daughter.

Yes I spend on making me always beautiful to please my husband but what am I to do, am I to be humiliated because he finds a younger prettier girlfriend if I do not take care of myself?

And I have now sacrificed a lot of what I can spend. He showed me this thread and I listened to his opinions.

Thank you those of you who have tried to help without cruelty

Your husband asked for advice and explained the situation on this forum so we know how worried he has been by your attitude to his money.
You seem to be an extremely self centred individual and concerned with trivialities such as making yourself beautiful.

Why don't you stop spending HIS money and get a job?

immoral_angeluk

There is a vast difference between being 'cruel' and being realistic.