High income but deep deep in debt-any advice?

immoral_angeluk

ViolaLass wrote: »

Again I would dispute that that is remotely relevant to the issue.

The OP's wife does seem to be unhelpful, to say the least, and there appears to be much to deplore about her but using her actions to tar an entire nation is lazy and misogynistic and doesn't actually help the OP.

Agreed, although some nationalities may have a reputation for it.. you get people like the OP's wife all over the world so it's not really relevant!

ILoveTwins

tobiascurious wrote: »

What we really need to know is what nationality the lady in question is!

What an incredibly ignorant thing to say. It doesn't matter if she is from the Moon, it won't change the situation.

OP, unfortunately you're very unlikely to get the financing you require, even though it's only needed for six months. I think you know what you have to do, and that is to cut back heavily on your expenditure until such time as your shares vest. I would also recommend a lifestyle change once you do escape this debt cycle. Make the most of your salary, put money aside.
I understand you are under a lot of pressure from your wife and that you don't want to lose your daughter. You will not lose her.
Be a man, do the right thing.

Good luck.

tobiascurious

In a recent survey of Russian women in London, 89% said the size of a man's wallet mattered more than the size of his heart or his biceps.

I am also led to believe though that Russian women in London are not representative of Russian women in Russia

surreybased

Hi,

Nothing to add on the finance side however would suggest that OP gets some support from positive fatherhood forms. A solicitor isn't needed for child residency issues (on a financial matters they are recommended). A court would make an assessment of residency (if the parents can't agree) following a CAFCASS report. Shared residency is a real option and something the OP should consider.
For the relationship side - get some advice from dads who have been there, they will be able to help.

andys15

The Op is a wind up. The SOA is not realistic. The payday loans would take 1 month to finish then he has £3200 spare. I dont believe a word of it.Earning over £7000 a month is a lot more than £100000 per annum. Sorry I just dont believe any of it.

chesky369

Actually, I think the nationality of the wife IS important here. The OP obviously has a strong attachment to his child and would be distressed if it were a possibility that she would be taken abroad to live. I've asked this question previously, but the OP has not replied.

tobiascurious

Even if it is a wind-up it raises some interesting questions

I never knew that Polish women also had a reputation for being a little materialistic

I think that also many of you are too quick to jump in and say get rid of the wife - it's not for nothing that marriage vows are taken.

ILW

If it is true, the wife seems to be rather selective about which marriage vows she chooses to follow.

Loanranger

There are too many people commenting who have not bothered to read the whole thread and are just here in the same way that people slow down to look at a road accident.
These facile, peurile comments are not helpful to the OP nor is it relevant to know his wife's nationality, their respective ages nor what he does for a living.

To the OP:
You have moved a long way forward with your thinking since you first posted and now you need to hold tight.
You were brave to open up on a forum such as this, everyone who is in debt and asks for help here is brave but it's the first essential step.
Be firm with your wife and take control of ALL spending in the household.
You're a classic case of being successful at your job but unable to deal with emotions so don't beat yourself up for this. I know more than guy exactly like you.
Just focus on cutting expenditure right down and forget the consolidation loan idea.
The thought of your daughter being taken away is clouding your thinking and you're frozen with fear in the headlights. Recognise this as being a symptom of the stress you are under and put it aside for now.
Don't allow the posts of one or two idiots to upset you.

hamsterfan1

ViolaLass wrote: »

There has been some useful information in this thread but I really deplore some of the pronouncements/generalisations that have been made about women. Some of us earn our own money, spend our own money, consider our husband's/partner's etc needs when spending, are considerate, open and kind people who contribute a lot to our relationships.

Denigrating all women on the basis of the behaviour of one is not constructive. Frankly, I'm shocked that I should even need to write this post.

And if it really has been your experience that all the women you've met have been like this, then you need to pick 'em better!

I agree I'm the main earner in our house & have been since our children were tiny.

OP I agree with the other who have suggested you give your wife an allowance each week & if she spends it all at the start of the week tough