How do you know when your family is complete?

peachyprice

For me the decison to stop has been quite easy.

I only ever wanted 1 girl, I would have been happy with that. But my first pregnancy produced twin boys. (there are many sets of twins in my family but it never dawned on me that I was likely to have them, duh!) It took me 6 years to pluck up the courage to try again, I was absolutely terrified of it being another set of twins, but luckily it was just the one, and a girl to boot. I think I've pushed my luck enough now, to go from 3 to 5 overnight would, for me, be a nightmare.

I do get the occasional pang of wanting another, but that soon passes, within minutes. I think once you get past a certain point in your childrens life, when you are staring to get your own life back and have time for yourself you come to the conclusion that you really don't want to go back to totally dependent babies, nappies and sleepness nights and appreciate the little people you have already made.

**curlywurly**

I wanted one girl. I got a girl and feel exceptionally lucky. I know my family is complete, but that doesn't stop others telling me that I need two ! I would keep it in your mind, talk to your OH, and do what feels best. If you have to ask the question, I think your family may not be quite complete?

[Deleted User]

I feel complete most of the time with my family, we have a boy and a girl. However now friends are on their second babies and newborns seem to be everywhere around me at the moment, its made me feel broody again. However OH has forbidden any more after PND with both, quite terribly with no.2, so that's that. Plus we can't really afford another one, have got rid of all baby stuff and our lives are moving on. Doesn't stop that broody feeling emerging.

However i'm contenting myself with offering support with the odd bottle, cuddle, nappy change and the knowledge that my children are becoming more indepdendant, which is what i craved over a year ago. I don't konw about you guys, but i often found myself wanting my children to do more for themselves, like the kids next door, but NOW they are, I want something else to fill that baby role.

Never going to happen though, we are well and truely done, in theory......OH doesn't come near me unless i'm Fort Knox.

*Louise*

We have 3 already, 2 boys and a girl. Youngest is 3 now and I just think of the complications having another would entail: another house move, no room in the car, longer before I can start working, longer before OH and I can start having holidays without 'em..(lol)

Plus SPD during the last 2 pregnancies wasn't a barrel of laughs either.

It annoys me when family members keep asking if I am going to have another though - jeez don't I look like I have enough to deal with??:eek:

pinkclouds

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply - it really helps to have an outside opinion. My hubby is totally happy for me to choose because it's me that has to actually have the baby, so he's not going to call it either way. I think you're all saying that you *do* know when to call it a day so maybe I'll start that baby fund and see how I feel in a year or three. Two under two was quite challenging but a larger age gap is tempting. So, in conclusion, I guess I'll just defer the decision for now.

ellay864

I always wanted a daughter...when I was pregannt first time I was convinced it was a boy and as we'd always assumed we'd probably have just a couple of kids I thought I'd feel really desperate for a girl next time. Sure enough it was a biy but when I was pregnant 2nd time I found I loved the idea of 2 lads playing together...and DS2 duly arrived. I struggled with both of them having reflux pretty badly - until they were almost a year old each time - and I was breastfeeding so options for treating them were more limited. That mde my OH more convinced that we should stop at 2, and I was fine with that. They're now 18 and 15 and for the past couple of years I haven't been broody as such but really miss that toddler time - I feel very redundant now! - but am trying to look forward to new stage of life doing grown up things!
A former colleague of mine had 2 toddlers, one boy one girl and was happy to stop there but her hubby wanted one more. She agreed but said 3 was definitely as far as she was going. She then naturally conceived triplets and found herself mum to 5 kids under the age of 5!

Mr.Mulla

Before my wife and I have decided to start a family, we have decided to to just have two kids. We were hoping to have a boy and a girl, and our prayers were answered.

After the second child, I don't remember my wife asking or even insinuating that she wants to have another child. She just had her mind set on planning how to raise them well and give them as much love and attention. And I on the other hand was delegated the task of making sure that we can always provide all their financial needs.

It worked well for us. We don't get too stressed financially and we get to enjoy the kids and our family.

property.advert

You know when the bloke goes to get the snip.

ceridwen

Well - ask yourself "Do I really want the rest of my life affected by some hormonal moodswings that are going on right now?" "Bearing in mind that various child benefits are about to be cut and more of the financial burden of having children is about to be diverted back from the State towards parents - can I personally cover the cost of having an extra child?" "In an overcrowded country - should I be adding to that overcrowding by having more than 2 children?"

If your moods/hormones are still dictating "But I WANT another child...." - then perhaps you could look into fostering or adopting? There are a lot of children needing good loving homes - many of whom will never get one - but you could give one or two of them a chance to have that:)

<puts on hard hat....as I know some of the people who have or want more than two children probably won't be able to resist calling me names.....sigh....>

Laurenbelle

I was glad to read this post because i am going throught the same thing. I have 3 boys (7,6 and 2) i often wonder if it is because it is all i know (pregnancy and breastfeeding) since it has been an ongoing cycle within the last 7 years or possibly i am holding out for the illusive girl (LOVE my boys but would love a girl). I think that if i had one more i would feel complete or atleast my head would take over my heart and tell me to stop. TBH i think it is the worry of what everyone else will say that stops me. I hadn't thought about it in a while but recently had a scare although i take my pill religiously and was quite suprised and how dissappointed i was when i started my period - now i cant stop thinking about it ;(