How do you know when your family is complete?

pinkclouds

I would really like to know your opinions on how you know when your family is complete i.e. when you don't want any more children. Is there some point when you no longer think about having another baby or do you feel broody until the menopause?

I know we are so blessed with the two gorgeous kids we have and I would never love them any less with or without additional kids. But, do you just feel... I don't know how to express it... Is it just a feeling because youngest is growing older that you feel nostalgic or something? I did always say I wanted three children but pregnancy really sucks so I started saying well two is enough, especially as we have a boy and a girl. But now I feel... less certain. Not certain enough to rush off to try to conceive right now. But more... in a few years' time, maybe I'd quite like another baby. Would I?

I'm kinda half seriously thinking, maybe I should start a baby fund and in five years' time I won't feel broody any more and have a few thousand to spend on whatever. Or not. I guess I feel in a sort of silly mood right now and logic has taken its leave for tonight.

LilacPixie

For me my health was not the best, I had two difficult pregnancies and heamorraged afterwards both times. There was no way in hell i was putting myself through that again. Nature had other ideas. This time I have already made it known that I want sterilised, OH wants snipped.

TBH I am in a stable and happy marriage, there is no way I would abort but for me I just could not comprehend another pregnancy as lovely as babies are.

zippybungle

I have 3 Kids, after my 2nd Boy, I knew I wanted one more child.
My third Child was a Girl and I know 100% that my family is complete.

I have found it quite hard going from 2 to 3 Children and obviously you have the extra expense (eg, a 'Family' is usually classed as 4 people, so Holidays, days out etc can be more expensive).

I have also had 3 c-sections and have been advised against having any more babies.

Zippy x

ManOnTheMoon

From my point of view, I only ever wanted two and then once seven had arrived, I really did not want anymore, but then I met a new partner, she said she wanted maybe two children and I wasn't against the idea and grew to liking the idea alot, so I think closing the door is never a definate no matter how adamant you are unless you have the surgery to make sure you don't, which i'll never do as my personal choice is not too.

Maybe you should start a fund if you want too, and as you say, if you don't have a baby, you have the money to have some fun with

Pinky15

This is something I too have always found difficult to decide. After number 2 I decided we were complete and sold everything. 3 years later I was desperate for another and we had our beautiful daughter. However after a terrible bout of PND, it was recommended not to have any more. Now DD is 3 yrs and I would dearly love another and it is hard to think it really is not an option. So I try and focus on the 3 wonderful children I have. I think saving is a good idea that way if you go ahead you have extra put by and if not its a nice nest egg.

jane130

this is somethign i struggle with terribly , despite having 4 children of my own and having been a surrogate twice becuase i just couldn;t bear the thought of never being pregnant again I still feel sad when i think about no more babies and I know that had my hubby not had the snip i would have been pregnant again by now . I am still considering doing another surrogacy but that depends on what the chiroprator says when i see him in october .

so i guess for me I haven;t reached that point yet where i feel done I thought i had when my son was born but it seems not .

angelicmary85

Pinkclouds...I could have written that post.

I too have a boy and a girl, I feel blessed as they are really beautiful children with their massive brown eyes and award winning smiles...but something inside me is telling me to have more

mikey72

You know it's complete when you have so many kids there's always one having a bad dream, feeling sick, can't sleep, too hot, too cold, and either you never see your wife as she's in their bed, or suddenly there's one of them in your bed all night, or else they all appear in the morning.
Then, they're staying up later then you are and you know you're past it.

jcr16

i not really too sure.

we lost our first baby but i then went on to have 3 fantastic children , they are just so amazing word's can't describe. i feel so lucky every day. my children are 6, 5 and 2 . however through no fault of my own each pregnancy has ended in a section. so this therefore is preventing us from having a big family like we wanted. tbh i wouldn't say a number we would of stopped at because if i said we only wanted 6 but i felll preg by not planning it, it wouldn't mean we wouldn't want it. iyswim.

Having said this hubby and i are really wanting to add to our family. i think perhaps just one more. would love more but i do have to think of my body. but hubby would like more than just 1 more. timing isn't quite right at the mo. but i think when timing is better suited were just gonna see how it goes. i'm only 28, so in theory have plently of time left. but i don't wanna leave it too late and get complacent about it and then it not happen. i am always broody and hubby is very supportive as he also wants more children so i'm very lucky

Mrs_justjohn

For me I always wanted a boy and a girl, and I think I would have kept going until I got a least one of each.....Fortunately I had a boy first and then a girl so I stopped after two!

My brother just kept having kids until he ran out of room in the car....Sister in law is now preggers with her 5th so unless they are gong to upgrade their people carrier to a minibus I think they will stop now!

ManOnTheMoon

I echo wanting a boy and a girl sentiment. I can't keep going on forever though waiting for that boy. Maybe this time.

I think the wide range of answers tells you that you never truly know. Never is a long time.