Dirty's hoping it's not too late to mend her ways......

dirtyepic

jwil wrote: »

Your weekend sounds like it will be lovely and frugal too!

I googled the picture, I like it!

It always surprises me how long some people take to respond to queries. When I get them I always do them straight away if I can, but at worst a day or two later. I emailed another department the other day and got an auto reply that they will get back to me in 10 working days!! How can that be acceptable? If I can't answer something straight away, I at least email the person and say I need to get more info, but I'll get back to them as soon as possible.

Honestly if you saw a photo of me mam she looked nothing like that Burmese princess!! A Jarrow princess maybe but not Burmese one in the slightest. It just shows when you are little you do believe everything! I am dying to get the picture now although it probably won't go with any of the new decor but who cares. It's my house and that's how I want it!!

Re the flipping pension and the flipping time its taking - I know its so annoying.

I sent the initial query through the day we got back from the Christmas break, 04.01.11. I mean it is only 13.01.11 and 'due course' must mean more than 10 days! We will respond in due course. Aaaarrrggghhh!! How long's due bl***y course?!! Hahahahaha.

Apparently good things come to those who wait. (drumming fingers on me desk!)

T

dirtyepic

Hi to whoever may be out there! Oh and hello diary

I am, yet again, going to type this throughout my working day and transfer onto my diary page on MSE sometime later today.
So, basically, this will be a running commentary of my thoughts and actions of Thursday 13 January 2011.

First of all, I didn't succumb to the temptation of a chocolate croissant and coffee from Pret or a bacon sandwich and
hot chocolate from Greggs en route to the office this morning so I can safely say that today will be another NSD
which is great cos that is 5 days in a row. A record!!!

My ebay sales are very poor at the moment but I did sell a few things last night so there's my £5 a day for yesterday
and hopefully a few will be paid for today so there's my £5 for today too.

I have been keeping up with MemoryGirl's thread but finding it difficult to keep up with the Matrix forum that I have joined,
so I think, because I am in the office alone today I will start my 15 minute bursts of work, internet (on phone obviously!),
work, internet etc for today but shhhhhh! Don't let the boss know!

MG is currently having a rethink of her goals and challenges at the moment so I hope she can put herself in the right
place and get cracking when the time is right. Will try to reply to her during my dinner break. She was due to come to Newcastle
in March to present a workshop on mind mapping but it looks like that may be replaced by online tutoring which I will offer to
be her guinea pig as she wants testers. Hope she gets sorted really soon. She is such an inspiration and motivator, as well as a
lot of people on her thread, but she is human like the rest of us and we all have to reconsider our plans every now and again.

Whilst I was catching up with everyone on the current MG thread, someone very kindly placed a link to a website that offers
free online training. Its going to be great for me because I really want to be able to get some further experience with Photoshop
(got a fair bit but been out of the creative industry for around 7 years now), microsoft office, dreamweaver and some
maths/other curriculum stuff. I have had a quick look and I think its training packages from around the world not just the UK so
great for basic revision I suppose. So if anyone is interested here it is:

https://www.alison.com

My health kick is going well. Well actually it has to because due to my NSDs I am unable to pop outside and get a snack or go for a
dander round Newcastle because I might succumb to the nasty temptations out there! There wasn't anything remotely interesting in
the fridge or cupboards this morning to add to my dinner of some roast beef, apple, low fat crisps, grapes, no sugar jelly so I have
decided that I should have another bowl of cereal later today to satisfy the slump this afternoon. If I am still awake then!
I am soo still trying to stay off the not-so-good carbs not only for the weight loss issues but I find that my ongoing issues with IBS
really flare up when I have either bread, pasta, rice or potatoes - the usual 'fillers' really.

Well I followed martin's link to the £10 spa deals on lastminute.com cos I thought that a great moneysaving valentines treat for the
lovely Baldy (husband!) would be a spa day sometime in the near future but as ever - I could find nothing for the North East.
Bah!! That means I might have to try and cook something for him and as the cookies were a failure on Sunday that doesn't leave much hope for a full meal does it?


(week start 10.01.11)

The usual
NSD M/T/W/T
£5 a day M/T/W/T
PAD M/T/W/T/F/S/S (bc this week)
check bank account M/T/W
check b/c M/T
check n/w M/T
update snowball M/T
update signature
sealed pot
keep up with MG diary M/T/W/T
keep up with Mike's diary M/T/W/T
keep up with Dinah's diary M/T/W/T
review my 50 day challenge
start a new challenge?
keep up with my diary! M/T/W/T
keep up with matrix W/T
15mins M/T/W/T

[STRIKE]1 hour ebay
ironing [/STRIKE]
make thank you cards (design already decided just get it toshed up on the mac)
DVD covers and labels
Copy Footy DVDs and package up to post

daily do something nice -
S: make cookies (unsuccessfully!), go out with pals taking photos and end up in pub with lush pint of guinness
M: went for a little walk, in the drizzle, took my daily photo whilst visiting dad and spending time with my cat!
T: Played with camera with new flash and tripod (thanks Baldy for the best birthday present I have ever had!)
W: Lovely relaxing bath, reading me brilliant Keith Richard book (thanks again Baldy) then early to bed, enjoying Shameless first though
Th: Go to marty's mam and dad's for tea
F:
S:

house things to complete -

[STRIKE]check stair rods (when they arrive)
chase carpet fitting date (on 07.01.11)
measure up for bookcase = 252cm[/STRIKE]
clear out and declutter back bedroom (ongoing!!)
await delivery and fit of replacement front door
letter to Fenwicks about carpet situation

daily health kick!
S: guardian daily exercise/walk for half hour/
M: 2L water/use stairs/guardian daily exercise
T: 2L water/use stairs x 2/guardian daily exercise
W: 2L water/use stairs x 2 /guardian daily exercise/walk 2 miles
T: 2L water/use stairs x 2/
F:
S:

daily photo diary:
S: silhouette of Julie, Karl and Isaac with sunset behind (great shot I have to admit)
M: 1970's style photo of my cat looking very weird
T: stunning sunset from my office window behind Newcastle Cathedral spire (or is it a steeple)
W: the nicest thing that happened on Wednesday was my relaxing bath. So that's my photo of the day
T: shot of me big paper lampshade in the dining room from underneath, in black and white

Night all, off to wash me face, brush me teeth and catch up with Shameless!

dirtyepic

Hi again diary!

I can actually say that I am enjoying writing about daily stuff (only cos the daily stuff is so boring to actually do that writing about it is a break from it!).

A lesson from my last session of counselling was to keep up with my achievements, make a list of them and I think that this renewed boost in my diary is a direct result of that. It does seem a bit of a childish way of coming to terms with certain achievements (however trivial) but I think it might be working.

Blimey, even getting the ironing done within the timescale I set is a massive achievement and its not as if I have a huge pile of ironing, it's just my own stuff, but the fact that I managed to do it is a big 'plus' for me.

I have been thinking rather a lot again, especially over the last 24 hours but not thinking of the bad things that have been taking up my thoughts over recent years because I feel they are all slowly being dealt with (see lists below) but general thoughts that are getting me down and giving me that awful 'thinking too much' headache.

Generally about myself and the person I am and the person I used to be and the person that other people see.

I have been thinking about how I don't particularly care as much about things that I used to care about - a lot. But then again, I probably still think and care about these things a lot more than people usually do.

I am talking in riddles, can't really elaborate any further JUST IN CASE anyone else may be reading this who I might know. Can't somebody just come and switch my mind off for a little while please?

I am having early nights, switching off the laptop a lot earlier, learning to relax (now this is extremely difficult), exercising, eating healthily and still I am waking up each morning, really tired and can't face up to reality and the real world of work.

During my last '50 day challenge' I decided to re-evaluate my current career and job situation and what I really wanted for the future and I have really thought about it and I have come to a decision that I want to return to something more creative, where I feel more comfortable and confident. I have to stick out this awful position until a: my debt is cleared; b: I get made redundant; c: I train myself up and refamiliarise myself with the software needed to get back into design/artworking.

So at least I do have a masterplan but after a sarcastic comment made by my manager this morning I feel like chucking my 'masterplan' at his face in the shape of a huge solid object and telling him that this whole unpredictable situation and his unreliable information is a joke and he can stick this flamin job and see if he can manage the whole outfit on his own! Phew!! Got that off me chest! (I am keeping a diary of comments and sarcasm by my manager cos you just don't know when you might need it!)

Well that was all before dinner time, since then I whinged to the poor, long suffering husband and the also even-longer-suffering sister. Then, believe it or not, the aforementioned boss, as he was walking out the door said I could work from home ALL DAY monday! Blimey!

So I am now going to pack up me work and take it home with me. Every cloud and all that!

(week start 10.01.11)

The usual
NSD M/T/W/T
£5 a day M/T/W/T/F
PAD M/T/W/T/F/S/S (bc this week)
check bank account M/T/W/T/F
check b/c M/T/F
check n/w M/T/F
update snowball M/T
update signature
sealed pot
keep up with MG diary M/T/W/T/F
keep up with Mike's diary M/T/W/T/F
keep up with Dinah's diary M/T/W/T/F
review my 50 day challenge
start a new challenge?
keep up with my diary! M/T/W/T/F
keep up with matrix W/T
15mins M/T/W/T
[STRIKE]
1 hour ebay
ironing
[/STRIKE]
make thank you cards (design already decided just get it toshed up on the mac)
DVD covers and labels
Copy Footy DVDs and package up to post

daily do something nice -
S: make cookies (unsuccessfully!), go out with pals taking photos and end up in pub with lush pint of guinness
M: went for a little walk, in the drizzle, took my daily photo whilst visiting dad and spending time with my cat!
T: Played with camera with new flash and tripod (thanks Baldy for the best birthday present I have ever had!)
W: Lovely relaxing bath, reading me brilliant Keith Richard book (thanks again Baldy) then early to bed, enjoying Shameless first though
Th: Go to marty's mam and dad's for tea
F: Had my Pret coffee and croissant for breakfast
S:

house things to complete -
[STRIKE]
check stair rods (when they arrive)
chase carpet fitting date (on 07.01.11)
measure up for bookcase = 252cm
[/STRIKE]clear out and declutter back bedroom (ongoing!!)
await delivery and fit of replacement front door
[STRIKE]letter to Fenwicks about carpet situation[/STRIKE]

daily health kick!
S: guardian daily exercise/walk for half hour/
M: 2L water/use stairs/guardian daily exercise
T: 2L water/use stairs x 2/guardian daily exercise
W: 2L water/use stairs x 2 /guardian daily exercise/walk 2 miles
T: 2L water/use stairs x 2/
F: 2L water/use stairs x 2/guardian daily exercise
S:

daily photo diary:
S: silhouette of Julie, Karl and Isaac with sunset behind (great shot I have to admit)
M: 1970's style photo of my cat looking very weird
T: stunning sunset from my office window behind Newcastle Cathedral spire (or is it a steeple)
W: the nicest thing that happened on Wednesday was my relaxing bath. So that's my photo of the day
T: shot of me big paper lampshade in the dining room from underneath, in black and white
F: photo of a tshirt slogan saying 'Common Sense is not so Common' which perfectly sums up my place of work

So I probably wont have time to update tonight because its ebay packaging night and soaps! Tomorrow the forum is down and Sunday it's great big ebay listing day and I might be heading out to watch the Derby (Newcastle are at Sunderland so a bit nervewracking at the moment)

Might see you Monday, might see you before.

Whoever is out there reading this, have a canny weekend whatever you are doing.

T
x

little_h_2

hi, I'm still reading

After all the thinking/evaluating you are doing in your head, I'm not surprised you are still tired in the mornings. I think when we are run down or struggling, lots of sleep is the best thing, literally the body's way of recharging itself.

Plus in the mornings you are having to face going to work at a job you hate. And now you have put things into motion and made a decision that you want to return to something more creative, it makes it harder I think to keep slogging away at something solely for the money! (speaking as this is relevant to me too at the moment!)

Hopefully once you are debt free, and have sorted out how you can get your ideal/perfect/almost perfect job again, you can use not having/wanting to do a 9-5 boring job ever again as your motivation to stay out of debt (again I am listening to myself here too!). In the mean time, we all have to do sensible things sometimes, and at least you know what your motivation is and you are now working on things outside work to make sure you feel fulfilled.

Re the 'old' stuff - I think what's important and what isn't can change constantly. It is very hard to leave things behind and let go of things that have hurt deeply, especially if they are things that once meant a lot or took a long time to achieve. but a spot of re-evaluation is a great thing.

re. achievements - I come from a family where these were never really celebrated, it was always move on to the next thing. So the hard work and joy of achieving was never revelled in, and with big achievements just came more work and pressure. This was the main reason I gave up music for a long time.

Now I love a celebration, any excuse, and when I do something tricky that I have worked hard for, I try to savour the moment when it's over! My harp teacher has really helped me with that, and also the following quote which I think about a lot when things are getting difficult.

It's from one of Bobby Charlton's books, and is in the chapter where Man Utd had won the European Cup in 1968 - the first one since the Munich air disaster As a footie fan I think you will like it

"You take the best, you celebrate it and store it against the very worst the future can bring, and then you always play the game as well as you can"

hope you enjoy your weekend x

dirtyepic

little_h wrote: »

hi, I'm still reading

Yay!! Hi again!

After all the thinking/evaluating you are doing in your head, I'm not surprised you are still tired in the mornings. I think when we are run down or struggling, lots of sleep is the best thing, literally the body's way of recharging itself.

It's weird, I will be shattered all day, even when I get home, have me tea then I start to perk up a bit, I will go to bed and try to relax but alway find something to do even if it's watching Sex and the City on the telly (I don't even really like it!). I will eventually drop off and always wake at some point during the night and its usually involving the excema in my ears playing up (it's the only place I have it!) thus being stupidly tired in the morning, then the thought of going into work makes it worse, as well you know!

Plus in the mornings you are having to face going to work at a job you hate. And now you have put things into motion and made a decision that you want to return to something more creative, it makes it harder I think to keep slogging away at something solely for the money! (speaking as this is relevant to me too at the moment!)

I do only think that this is only my job to pay off my debts and attempt to live my life at the moment but the negativity here and my manager's unreliable advice doesn't help. But that's all I am going to say about work. I am trying not to whinge about it too much because it is totally detrimental to my situation and thoughts. My husband has asked me not to talk about work at home because it spoils an otherwise lovely relaxing place and time. So I don't. So I will try that on here also, but it is my diary and if I need to I will just have to!!

Hopefully once you are debt free, and have sorted out how you can get your ideal/perfect/almost perfect job again, you can use not having/wanting to do a 9-5 boring job ever again as your motivation to stay out of debt (again I am listening to myself here too!). In the mean time, we all have to do sensible things sometimes, and at least you know what your motivation is and you are now working on things outside work to make sure you feel fulfilled.

Yeah imagine the people we are going to be once this difficult period of our lives is eventually over. I am really looking forward to the day when I can look back and feel proud that I actually done it and got myself out of the mess. (Obviously feeling proud also, of all the support and friendships from the MSE threads!!! Obviously!!)

Re the 'old' stuff - I think what's important and what isn't can change constantly. It is very hard to leave things behind and let go of things that have hurt deeply, especially if they are things that once meant a lot or took a long time to achieve. but a spot of re-evaluation is a great thing.

re. achievements - I come from a family where these were never really celebrated, it was always move on to the next thing. So the hard work and joy of achieving was never revelled in, and with big achievements just came more work and pressure. This was the main reason I gave up music for a long time.

Now I love a celebration, any excuse, and when I do something tricky that I have worked hard for, I try to savour the moment when it's over! My harp teacher has really helped me with that, and also the following quote which I think about a lot when things are getting difficult.

I love a celebration and I think sometimes in my past I celebrated just a bit too much and now my relationship with alcohol is somewhat jaded. I worry about the hangover (very violent, quite frightening and I don't particularly like frightening my husband!) then I worry about if any of the alcohol I will be drinking will affect my IBS then the depressive side of alcohol. So these days I am so much more careful about my level of celebrations but I never say never!! I do let my hair down every now and again. Dont usually drink during the week and apparently that's my downfall, doctor says I am a binge drinker! Which is theoretically, probably very right. A few years ago when I started the WW diet, I started to save all my points for a weekend if I had something to celebrate or a match to go to, so instead of wasting any points on alcohol during the week they would be saved so I could not worry about going over my point allocation whilst out on the lash. Unfortunately what I thought was the right thing is most definitely not! Don't like drinking during the week, apart from an odd pint, but that's what I will have to do to stop being the oldest binge drinker around! hahahahahaha!

It's from one of Bobby Charlton's books, and is in the chapter where Man Utd had won the European Cup in 1968 - the first one since the Munich air disaster As a footie fan I think you will like it

"You take the best, you celebrate it and store it against the very worst the future can bring, and then you always play the game as well as you can"

I love that. Gotta get playing that game then don't I? Got an infinite number of celebrations I can recall.

hope you enjoy your weekend x

Thanks for that really thoughtful message little_h, how's your days going? Did you have a good weekend? I haven't had the chance to get back to your diary for a couple of days but if me phone doesn't play up on the way home I will try and catch up on the metro.

Hoping you are okay and keeping smiling (even just a little bit!!)

Not working from home today - boooooh - 18.01.11

---

Hello diary! (I kind of imagined saying that in the voice of Pauline Collins in Shirley Valentine - 'Hello wall' 'Hello rock' - love that film!)

Well back to the misery that is the office. Although on the bright side I did work from home all day yesterday.

Back to the uncomfortable silences, bright side - now not really bothering me due to listening to 6music through me right earplug!
Back to the boring work, bright side - it's easy yet annoying so just getting me head down and plodding on and also, I do have the pleasure of adding to this diary throughout the day.

Now for some serious stuff, got to get it off me chest, out of me head and down in me diary:
My counselling is coming to a natural end I think and although it's daunting I think it maybe time to wrap it, this is backed up by my lovely counsellor who said that the Christmas holidays were a kind of 'testing' period for me to see how I would cope for 4 weeks without counselling and although I sailed through it (with just a couple of blips - last week being the worst) I think that the news I received with regards 'my aneursym' over the holidays was a massive factor in my success. Yesterday was my first opportunity to tell her the good news and she was absolutely shocked (and very happy for me). It changed absolutely everything about our session and we discussed it for about three quarters of our time. She mentioned solicitors advice, gross misconduct, how it went on for fifteen years with apparent second opinions throughout this time but I am still not mentally strong enough to cope with the worry of any of this. So I am still letting it stay dormant, no reply to the consultant and no further action just yet.

The fifteen years of worrying (consciously and sub-consciously) about absolutely everything has stopped. Full stop.

I will still worry to an extent, I think that that my brain is now programmed to worry and cause anxiety and will always now be with me but I won't be worrying about mortgage applications, life insurance, headaches, hospital appointments, death in my 50s (I am now 42), how people will react to my condition, potential brain haemorrhage.

I actually worried about child birth and whether all of the pressure my body was suffering from whether I could rupture the aneurysm. I worried that if I did have children how unfair it would be on them, my husband, my family and friends if I died when I was in my 50s.
We haven't had children, I think its too late now. We are going to enjoy our lives together. For a long time.

Since my letter from the hospital arrived I have subconsciously made changes and only yesterday it appeared it was because I care again about myself and my future.

I have started to exercise again.
I have started to try and relax.
I have started to be a bit happier with myself and my body (it is in its 43rd year after all!)
I have started to be easier on myself.

Everything will get done when needed. There is now no hurry (apart from my debt which I am itching to lose and get cracking with another chapter of my career!)

This counselling has been an amazing eye opener for me and I feel like a completely different person than a few months ago. For the meantime I am still staying on the very low dosage medication for my anxiety but that doesn't bother me too much.

I give myself permission to be who I want to be
I will lose the fear of rejection

There, I have admitted everything - my medication, my underlying reason for suffering from the depression and anxiety I have carried for half of my life, in fact all of my adult life - the fear of rejection.

So let's now crack on with this weeks goals, challenges and tasks!

Ooh just checked my cc's and bank account then updated my snowball which ultimately let to my working out the percentage of my debt paid to date 13.85% - every little helps!


(week start 11.01.11)

The usual
NSD M/T/
£5 a day
PAD M/T/W/T/F/S/S - NW cc
check bank account T/
check b/c T/
check n/w T/
update snowball T/
update signature
sealed pot
keep up with MG diary M/T
keep up with Mike's diary M/T
keep up with Dinah's diary M/T
keep up with little_h's diary
review my 50 day challenge
start a new challenge?
keep up with my diary! T/
keep up with matrix
15mins
[STRIKE]1 hour ebay [/STRIKE]
ironing
make thank you cards (design already decided just get it toshed up on the mac)
post the bl***y DVDs that I have copied

daily do something nice -
S: a day of pottering, in my own time, all on my own. Listening to the match on the radio
M: went for a little walk after my counselling session and smiled. A lot.
T:
W:
Th:
F:
S:

house things to complete -
measure up for bookcase = 252cm
clear out and declutter back bedroom (ongoing!!)
await delivery and fit of replacement front door FRIDAY?
await delivery of flippin stair carpet FRIDAY?
letter to Fenwicks about carpet situation to post
go to ikea for ideas about bookcase

daily health kick!
S: NOTHING
M: brisk walk around the park with a smile on my face/1L water
T:
W:
T:
F:
S:

daily photo diary:
S: DONT KNOW YET
M: bandstand in the park
T:
W:
T:
F:

So going to leave work in about 15 minutes, do some kind of walking tonight to fill my exercise quota, crack on with the ironing (oops one day late!), spend some lush time with me lovely husband!

Till tomorrow!

T
x

NorthernLas

Ooh DE and little_H - you have brought back such good memories for me ... I was a home birth in the hills about 10 miles from Gateshead and became exiled in Stockport after I finished college (there were no jobs in the North at the time). When I was 16 and thought I was 'the bees knees' I used to trip off on the bus into Newcastle (off at the cattle market) and wander up to the Laing Art gallery where I would sit and appreciate the pictures. I love the walk from the Theatre Royal to the Quayside, then over the blinking eye to the Sage. I am ashamed to say, I have never been to the Baltic, but it is now on my list of must haves for this year (along with Seahouses, Bamburgh Castle, The Farne Islands and Alnwick Castle).

THANK YOU!!

NL x

NorthernLas

Just had a quick flick back at your posts and if you need a medical negligence lawyer, my sis will be able to come up with a good one who is local to Durham or Newcastle. When you feel stronger, just let me know...

NL x

p.s. and I have lived in the South for over 25 years and in the 10 years that the Lowry has been here ... I have never visited it either ... BAD NL ... also on my list of must dos!

little_h_2

hi both!

NL, all the Northumberland places you mentioned are great - I saw them all as an even littler h and hadn't seen them as an adult until my holiday a few years ago. I must go back

DE - sounds very positive on the counselling, it's great that you recognise an ending point. I think I am about there with mine.

I think it takes a lot of strength to say that you are going to leave things dormant - a great choice of word as it's definitely not active, but is still there should you want to wake it up again. It has affected your life a lot, but sounds like you are very accepting and I think that is a good thing, you can use up a lot of energy questioning things and you have said you don't have that for now - hopefully you can use it for all the other fab things you have going on :j

if you have job things going on that need talking about, definitely find an outlet for them. I can understand hubby not wanting them to come home but sounds like you need a bit of venting as much as anything!

well done on the exercising/feeling happier/being kinder! :T

i like the sound of daily do something nice, may just have to borrow that idea!

dirtyepic

little_h wrote: »

hi both!

DE - sounds very positive on the counselling, it's great that you recognise an ending point. I think I am about there with mine.

How are you feeling about that? I sometimes think that I will not manage without having someone to tell me how my brain and thoughts work. It's fascinating stuff - when she tells me things its like the biggest penny in the world has dropped and I can associate her reasoning and explanations to so many instances in my life. It's daunting but probably time to wind it up.

I think it takes a lot of strength to say that you are going to leave things dormant - a great choice of word as it's definitely not active, but is still there should you want to wake it up again. It has affected your life a lot, but sounds like you are very accepting and I think that is a good thing, you can use up a lot of energy questioning things and you have said you don't have that for now - hopefully you can use it for all the other fab things you have going on :j

if you have job things going on that need talking about, definitely find an outlet for them. I can understand hubby not wanting them to come home but sounds like you need a bit of venting as much as anything!

Yeah, this diary has recently been such a help. All of the advice and comments as well as just writing it down. I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone. I can understand the Baldy one getting a bit p'ed off when I whinge all the time but it's hard isn't it? Not being able to talk to certain people about things?
well done on the exercising/feeling happier/being kinder! :T
I know I shouldn't but I just keep thinking how long will this all last. If it lasts a day longer it's a great thing. I will have to just pick up where I left off and crack on again. That goes for so much doesn't it?

i like the sound of daily do something nice, may just have to borrow that idea!

Struggling with this little challenge, mind. I have even used 'shopping' tonight as doing something nice but that's because it isn't going to cost me anything. I received a £20 House of Fraser gift voucher for changing my Barclaycard to paperless statement so I am in desparate need of some make up and I will head directly to the Mac counter (I hope they have one there!) and also Clinique are re-opening the offer of swapping any old, empty mascara for a mini-mascara tester. So why not?

Usually I despise shopping.

Hoping your week is going okay. Any further news on the house yet? Have you still got the pooch to look after?



Well Diary - Crikey 19th January already!

Dunno where the time is going. Could do with getting a bored and not knowing what to do with my time for a bit to make life slow down.

(week start 11.01.11)
The usual
NSD M/T/W
£5 a day - this is going really bad, depending upon ebay sales only
PAD M/T/W/T/F/S/S - NW cc
check bank account T/W
check b/c T/
check n/w T/
update snowball T/
update signature
sealed pot
keep up with MG diary M/T/W
keep up with Mike's diary M/T/W
keep up with Dinah's diary M/T/W
keep up with little_h's diary T/W
review my 50 day challenge
start a new challenge? - attempted a mind map
keep up with my diary! T/W
keep up with matrix
15mins
[STRIKE]1 hour ebay [/STRIKE]
ironing
make thank you cards (design already decided just get it toshed up on the mac)
post the bl***y DVDs that I have copied

13.85% debt paid to date (14.10.10-18.01.11)

daily do something nice -
S: a day of pottering, in my own time, all on my own. Listening to the match on the radio
M: went for a little walk after my counselling session and smiled. A lot.
T: -
W: off to Metrocentre tonight to spend my free £20 House of Fraser on some Mac makeup and get my free clinique mini mascara then off to check out the book shelves at IKEA. Ooh a dream come true!
Th:
F:
S:

house things to complete -
[STRIKE]
measure up for bookcase = 252cm
[/STRIKE]clear out and declutter back bedroom (ongoing!!)
await delivery and fit of replacement front door FRIDAY?
[STRIKE]
await delivery of flippin stair carpet FRIDAY?
letter to Fenwicks about carpet situation to post
go to ikea for ideas about bookcase
[/STRIKE]

daily health kick!
S: NOTHING
M: brisk walk around the park with a smile on my face/1L water
T: 1L water/stairs x 1
W: 2L/stairs x3/
T:
F:
S:

daily photo diary:
S: DONT KNOW YET
M: bandstand in the park
T: tyneside cinema lane in Newcastle?
W: Stunning sunset over the Castle
T:
F:

Loving work so far today, boss isn't in again. 'Working from home' apparently. Although when my colleague was still working with me we used to say that it is more likely he is going to interviews which is more likely due to his constant comments on the jobs situation.

Right, now going to crack on with my training programme for Manual Handling. I have decided it is impossible to make this topic interesting and everytime I do make it more interesting the boss will disagree and amends it to the way he wants it. Dunno why he just doesn't do it himself! Oh yeah I do, cos he can't be chewed. Oh the joys!!

Must remember and remind myself at all opportunities! -
I give myself permission to be who I want to be
I WILL get rid of the fear of rejection

Yay, almost time to head home now and I feel okay about my achievements today.

T
x

dirtyepic

Morning Diary

20th January eh? Well it's a lovely bright winters morning. Absolutely freezing but what can I expect for January! Perfect day for wrapping up really well and going for a brisk walk with a camera to enjoy the brilliant light and lovely blue sky.

I have come into the office, quite chirpy (???!!) but feeling a bit of an atmosphere with the boss.

I hope I am not being overly suspicious here but I started a brief and poor attempt at a mind map yesterday listing the areas which I would like to work on over my next personal 50 day challenge and I left it on my rather messy desk yesterday, covered in paperwork. Now when I have got into the office, the boss is already there, my paperwork has been shuffled around and the mind map is completely exposed. The culprit has also left a new notebook on my desk. I have asked the boss if its his and he denies it saying that it could have been somebody's who has used our office to use the telephone??!!! (that has never happened in the 19 months I have had my desk in this office!!)

So if he is in a bit of a mood because he read my notes, then it serves him right. I didn't write anything too bad. I am thinking that this is what he mightnt have appreciated reading, but it isn't that bad really. It isn't directed at anyone in particular but I suppose if you have a guilty conscience:

Under the title

'Career/Development'
- stick with it
- don't let the pr***s get you down
- learn to mind map properly to use at work and in future presentations

See - it isn't particularly nasty at all is it?!!

Actually I am sniggering to myself thinking that it serves him right for being nosey and for me catching him out.

On an even lighter note I have been given permission to work from home tomorrow morning or all day if I want to. This is to allow me to be there when the carpet fitters are working on the stair carpet.

So for a Friday's Eve morning, it's not going too bad really.

Will continue a bit later on. Must get some work done.

(week start 11.01.11)

The usual
NSD M/T/W
£5 a day - S/M/T/W/T
PAD M/T/W/T/F/S/S - NW cc
check bank account T/W/T
check b/c T/
check n/w T/
update snowball T/
update signature
sealed pot
keep up with MG diary M/T/W/T
keep up with Mike's diary M/T/W/T
keep up with Dinah's diary M/T/W/T
keep up with little_h's diary T/W/T
review my 50 day challenge
start a new challenge? - attempted a mind map
keep up with my diary! T/W/T
keep up with matrix
15mins
1 hour ebay
ironing
make thank you cards (design already decided just get it toshed up on the mac)
post the bl***y DVDs that I have copied

13.85% debt paid to date (14.10.10-18.01.11)

daily do something nice -
S: a day of pottering, in my own time, all on my own. Listening to the match on the radio
M: went for a little walk after my counselling session and smiled. A lot.
T: -
W: off to Metrocentre tonight to spend my free £20 House of Fraser on some Mac makeup
Th: bought some reduced chocolate from Hotel Chocolat in Newcastle. going to have a nice bath and read all about Keith Richards!
F:
S:

house things to complete -

[STRIKE]measure up for bookcase = 252cm[/STRIKE]
clear out and declutter back bedroom (ongoing!!)
await delivery and fit of replacement front door FRIDAY?

[STRIKE]await delivery of flippin stair carpet FRIDAY?
letter to Fenwicks about carpet situation to post
go to ikea for ideas about bookcase[/STRIKE]


daily health kick! (note: there are a total of 97 stairs to my office and I count a return journey as '1')
S: NOTHING
M: brisk walk around the park with a smile on my face/1L water
T: 1L water/stairs x 1
W: 2L/stairs x3/
T: 2L/stairs x3/
F:
S:

daily photo diary:
S: DONT KNOW YET
M: bandstand in the park
T: tyneside cinema lane in Newcastle?
W: Stunning sunset over the Castle
T: Shot of Grey Street, Newcastle with the morning sun against the whole stunning curve of the street
F:



Must remember and remind myself at all opportunities! -
I give myself permission to be who I want to be
I WILL get rid of the fear of rejection

Off home now, via boots the chemist and a bakers for some bread for tea!

T