Chapel of rest

Oldernotwiser

aliasojo wrote: »

Ditto. I said exactly the same thing.

I'm not really religious but something was missing from my Mum and at that moment I felt sure she was elsewhere.

But I found it comforting and you found it upsetting which is interesting that people can react so differently.

Becles

Lucy1973 wrote: »

We will be going to see my nan either tomorrow or friday. There will be a few of us going so I will play it by ear. I may well have second thoughts once i'm there. The funeral(a cremation) will be on tuesday and we have to wear something bright.

Will be thinking of you and hope you find the strength to do what is right for you.

The bright funeral sounds lovely. My Grandma didn't want black at her funeral. She died during the summer and the ladies wore summer dresses and the men were in coloured shirts.

Everyone went back to their house. They had a huge back garden and as the weather was so nice, everyone was out sitting on the lawn having a lovely time chatting to each other. My Grandma loved entertaining and you could almost expect her coming out any minute with the teapot or a plate of sandwiches to pass round! She would have loved it if she'd been there.

Lucy1973

Becles wrote: »

Will be thinking of you and hope you find the strength to do what is right for you.

The bright funeral sounds lovely. My Grandma didn't want black at her funeral. She died during the summer and the ladies wore summer dresses and the men were in coloured shirts.

Everyone went back to their house. They had a huge back garden and as the weather was so nice, everyone was out sitting on the lawn having a lovely time chatting to each other. My Grandma loved entertaining and you could almost expect her coming out any minute with the teapot or a plate of sandwiches to pass round! She would have loved it if she'd been there.

Aww that sounds really nice(nice probably not the right word but I hope you know what I mean):)
I think tuesday will be very similar. I think whats going to get me thru is knowing i'm going to be meeting up with long lost rellies. Will be lovely to catch up. Its just a shame this tends to happen nowadays at funerals:(

brokeinyorkshire

I am sorry to hear of your loss OP.

I think its a personal thing really

I saw my Gran and my Father In Law at the Chapel of Rest.

I was at the hospital just after my Father In Law passed away and sat with him for a while just talking to him and holding his hand while i cried.

When i saw him at the Chapel Of Rest i was so glad that the undertaker ( a friend of the family) had made him look good, ( that sounds ridiculous but its true ) that i broke down again but i am so glad that i had that time with him!

My gran looked so peaceful but she was no longer ' there ' and it was awful when i bent to kiss her as she was so cold. It was such a shock even though i knew she would be.

Do what is best for you and don't worry if you decide not to go.

All the best.

aliasojo

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But I found it comforting and you found it upsetting which is interesting that people can react so differently.

It was a mixture of both tbh, I was happy that in my mind I believed she had gone on elsewhere and that brought me comfort but that meant I was faced with just a corpse and that was what I found hard....corpses are just scary dead things.

Lucy1973

Have an appointment tomorrow at 9am. Very scared:(

Torry_Quine

Lucy1973 wrote: »

Have an appointment tomorrow at 9am. Very scared:(

I'll be thinking of you. Hope it goes well

Crisp_£_note

Becles wrote: »

Sorry to hear that. It must be difficult anyway without this playing on your mind.

I've never seen any of my relatives in the Chapel of Rest.

I was 13 when my Grandma died, she was in hospital after suffering pneumonia. She was getting better and I'd gone in to visit. She'd known I was coming and bought a bag of sweets from the trolley and we shared them and had good old natter and carry on. She was in high spirits and I can still remember that afternoon. She died suddenly the next day of an unexpected heart attack so I never saw her again.

My parents went to the Chapel of Rest and said her hair was straight (she put her rollers in every day), and she had make up on (she never wore make up). My Mam was upset as it didn't look like her, and I didn't want to go in and see.

Have lost other relatives since, and I've not seen any of them after they've gone. I'd rather keep happy last memories like the one I have of my Grandma, and I've never regretted not going.

I still think about them. I recently did a job in the town my Grandparents used to live in and spent a few moments sitting on the beach front where they used to take us to play and thought about them.

Hiya Lucy

First of all BIG HUGZ and condolances to you and yours so sorry to hear of the sad loss.

I agree with Becles so much I am not sure if its the way of the Welsh?

The only person I have ever seen at rest was my Father-In-Law and it was only really to support my hubby and mum-in-law at the difficult time. I cant say I liked it much but it wasnt as scary or as unpleasant as I had thought it may be! Although I still expected him to sit up in the coffin and wake up

I have refused to go to any of my family, including my Grandma and even my own Dad (who passed away earlier this year).

I think, like Becles it is better to have the happy memories than the sad ones.

Feel free to PM me if you need to for anything

geminilady

Lucy if you were comforted by seeing your mother in law maybe it will be right for you to see your nan.I would as someone advised let someone else close to your nan go in first and see if they recomend that you see her.I have had two contrasting experiances.My mum i saw about an hour after she had passed she was still warm and looked like my mum but i could feel she had gone.I also saw her in the chapel of rest she had had a postmortem and although covered up to her neck looked completly differant and i am sorry i saw her like that.My oh looked awful after he had died in hospital so much so that i complained it was such a shock and my 18 yr old son was with me.Maybe they were busy and had no time to make him look peacefull but they should remember loved ones will come to see them.He also had a postmortom but looked a lot better when i saw him again after so maybe they did listen.

Lucy1973

Up early. Can't sleep.
I just wanted to thank everyone for your advice and comforting words xxxxxxx