Hubby leaving feel so lost please help me, feel alone

denton6

tracytaxi wrote: »

what a really bad day the kids are really upset cant write any more today

huge hugs to you. send me a email if you want i will reply. am going through similar time as you at the moment, please believe me it does get a little easier. xx

tracytaxi

Today sadly not much better , booked Drs appointment for tomorrow, kids picking up on big time, we are separated in same house bedroom florr not comfy I tell you

denton6

let him take turns in sleeping on the floor aswell. when you go to the dr maybe you can write down how you are feeling and then if you get upset you can just pass the note to them. that is what i did and found it alot easier plus that way you wont forget anything you need to say when you are there. hugs keep strong x

RadoJo

I agree that it sounds as though your husband has some mental health issues, but given how tolerant you have already been I think it's time to put your kids and yourself first and focus on trying to create a stable life for them. Although it's hard now, if you can try and plough your energies into improving all your lives, you will be rewarded in the long run - can you maybe write a list of all the things that you can do with your freedom (however far in the future they may seem) and try to focus on the potential positives then gradually your mindset will change and you'll start to see some chinks of sunlight through the clouds.

I will get the ball rolling by saying that you are obviously a great Mum and are making the best of a difficult situation for your kids - picture yourself with them in the future, when all this is behind you and you are all happy and confident.

tracytaxi

thank you feel worse today as my ex husband my girls dad informs me tha my girls only ever say negative thing like mums been at work all day this is the dad thjat pays ten pounds aweek total for 2 kids and earn £260 , I cant win and then he says he has rang ande I am in bed at 9 , I was up at 5 the day before and worked till 9pm , I give up damnee if you do and damned if you dont

Eager_Elephant

tracytaxi wrote: »

thank you feel worse today as my ex husband my girls dad informs me tha my girls only ever say negative thing like mums been at work all day this is the dad thjat pays ten pounds aweek total for 2 kids and earn £260 , I cant win and then he says he has rang ande I am in bed at 9 , I was up at 5 the day before and worked till 9pm , I give up damnee if you do and damned if you dont

Why did your ex husband need to say that? Talk about kicking someone when they are down?

Of course he would not tell you if they said positive things as then he would not look as good would he?

Could you speak to your daughters about why you have to work long hours etc and see how they feel about it? Maybe they wouldn't mind if you worked less hours and they went without things such as mobile phone etc

((Tracy)) you are doing so well.

EE

Diane1961_2

Dear Tracey

I would focus on getting through each day at a time, at the moment. You seem to spend a lot of time in your head trying to make sense of everything - don't! It will never make sense to you, and it won't change anything even if you did understand why the things in your life have happened. Once you realise that your thoughts create your feelings, you can start to control your thoughts; and refuse to let your mind be in charge of how you feel.

New chapter in the book of your life, choose only the things that are self-loving. If it does not feel good, don't do it, say it, think it, read it, write it, watch it.

Set yourself the challenge of giving your children the example of how to deal with problems, include them in the practicalities of life as an unsupported, single family, encourage them to be creative too. Have fun and keep breathing you won't believe how happy you can be once you get back to being you and letting others take care of themselve.

Much love
xxx

tracytaxi

it was the ex husband who said the negative things ( not the soon to be ex) he said it as daughter told him hubby was leaving, ex husband was violent to me etc, so now he knows i will be on my own and the hubby gone, he thinks i am a easy target again, he twistds things and messess with heads including 16 year old.I am self employed my overheads car , office, insurance , fuel are £400 per week, I rarely earn anything much on top these days as it takes 40 hours to take (£400) , I am a taxi driver,and no they wont want to go without internet, mobiles biscuits and such, besides which I have only worked 5 days in 6 weeks due to whats happpening!! and the fact I had an accident.Thank you once again all, been dr prescribed prozac,a nd counselling , 8 week wait.
wish I could stop thinking how i wish i could x

JoJoB

Tracy, the amount of work you are doing combined with the stress you are under may make you ill. Please start to look at other options in case the stress makes you unfit for work. Do you rent or have a mortgage? If renting then if things get too much the Doctor could sign you off and benefits would cover your essentials. I know this may be unpopular advice with some people but you are clearly not a dosser and could be in genuine need of some short term help while you get your life back on track. You have had an accident and are on medication for depression - both are strong indicators that work may be difficult for you for a little while.

Things to consider:
How essential is your car? Do you live somewhere very remote?
Do you have any debts in your name?
Would your husband contribute financially if you do split?

tracytaxi

Hi good morning, car pretty essential as daughter 14 is autistic and wont catch buses , but cannot get higher rate mobilitiy, signed a 12 month lease hire for taxi tillnext june, so pretty stuck with it any way unless I go court. No debts as went bankrupt in 2008 , so no desire to end up back there.Hubby cant officially pay as he is on incapacity ben but will help where he can,he is going, he is just stayed a extra couple of weeks so I can pay the direct debits before I inform tax credits of the need for single claim , which means they tell me joint claim will stop and it takes about 3 weeks for single claim starts payment, an dtax credits is my main income.Trying to go work today just going out the dooor is hard just want to hide away.I rent by the way,not over worried about the bills , just worried for the 3 weeks without tax credits,as during those 3 weeks will have £166 to live on for the 4 of us.I must add teh accident was not my fault a old man with dementia ploghed into side of my cab , still waiting for insurance, the dont want to pay my loss of earnings,as I am not drawing a wage, but I have still lost £400 of revenue that pays the car hire, insurance and such, not fair it was not my fault.I am still in pain from the accident too, I think the accident was last straw for hubby as he keeps saying I am jinxed and wants a normal stress fee life.oh well coffee calling, thank you all, it helps on here as without this I feel so alone, i have nobody to talk to, parents apart, an organisation coming to see me next thursday.x